Monday, March 12, 2007

Smoker's Toes, Jesus is Lord, and why I love my family...and a little poop

Ok so I have to go to the bathroom(I'm telling you that General Foods International coffee crap is the best) and I was just about to get up from my desk to go, and another lady from my dept. snuck in and closed the door. This really sucks because A. I hate using the bathroom 2 ft. away from ours because it's in another dept. and it doesn't feel "comfortable" like our bathroom does and B. this means I have to wait a good 10 minutes to go because I hate the whole warm toilet seat thing, grosses me out thinking somebody else's butt was JUST sitting there EW!! Speaking of the bathroom, I don't know if I posted about the little surprise I found on the floor in there a week or 2 ago...the poop on the floor? Did I post about that? How sick...went to go to the bathroom and before I could sit down I saw a little terd on the floor!! Who on earth flings poop? I think I know who did it, so I will refer to her as the Chimp from now on. And the Chimp is the one that just stole the bathroom when I need to go. So anyway back to the poo on the floor...yea the smear from it is STILL THERE. Shows you just how often they clean the bathroom floors around here. Nice huh??

Ok so I ate lunch w/ my sister today. I was in a great mood, and I knew it would be fun. And it's so freaking nice out I wanted to enjoy the weather, not rush out and grab something and rush back. So we sat in the car and ate Taco Bell. As I'm finishing my taco she comments on how yellow her toenails are. "Have you just taken the polish off recently?" I ask her. No. No polish. "How freaking gross do they look, I look like I'm a smoker, I have freaking smoker's toes!!" I busted out laughing. What in the world smoker's toes are exactly, I don't know. This is one of the many reasons I love her.

And something amusing my little brother has done recently... ok first off I'll just tell you that my sister is very outspoken. She says what's on her mind. I'm the same way except I don't have this weird paranoia that everybody in the world hates me like she does(really I don't)...but if we pass a girl in the mall she'll be like "What are you looking at bitch" swearing she gave her a dirty look when I thought the girl looked pretty friendly. So anyway, like I said, she's outspoken, and my little brother is becoming more this way every year. During a trip to Walmart recently w/ my little brother my sister was aparently getting quite a few stares(she's a good looking girl, always getting looks) and she wasn't in the mood. After telling quite a few guys point blank to stop looking at her, my little brother(he's tiny ok, just picture this tiny little 6th grade white boy, he's about the smallest kid in his whole grade) walked up behind a married guy that had been staring at my sister for 5 minutes while waiting in line at the checkout, stood like a foot behind them and said "Man you need to quit looking at my sister you're MARRIED don't you know that's wrong??" Apparently the guy was pretty embarrassed and his wife was pretty pissed. Then as they're walking out to their car, my sister was being stalked by a group of Mexicans. So my little brother throws out his hands and yells "WHAT, beaners, WHAT????"--ever the little gangster, which is hilarious because he's such a little white before you take offense, you must know that my stepmom is Mexican, therefor my sister and little brother are also Mexican, so the whole beaner comment was totally not racist. There's no way we could be racist in our family, we represent all the races except oddly enough we have no Asian relatives that I know of.

Which brings me back to my sister, now that you know how outspoken she is. (Which is another reason I love her) Another thing I should tell you is that the family is divided by religion. My dad, stepmom, stepmom's parents and now apparently my little brother, are all Jehovah's Witnesses. My sister and I are not. So this creates some tension. My sister and I totally respect them, I mean they are free to believe whatever they want to believe. We don't celebrate holidays around them, we don't include them in any get-togethers etc. and D and I even got H's xmas pictures taken on a separate background just for them that only included snow, no holiday-ness whatsoever. But they DON'T respect our wishes to be Christian's...regular ol' God-lovin Christian's. We're "wrong" and should also be Jehovah's Witnesses. So every now and then we have to throw in a "Thank GOD" or some such comment. My dad was really bugging my sister the other day(he has a way of getting under your skin, but that's a whole other post) and my sister had had she stood up, yelled at the top of her lungs w/ her arms in the air, looking towards the heavens "PRAISE JESUS!!" in that huge black preacher accent. Which of course ticked my dad off. She went into her room and shut the door. My dad yelled "WHAT did you just say!?!?" expecting her not to answer. A moment goes by, and then behind the closed door "PRAISE JESUS!!" I cannot explain how funny this is. I guess you'd just have to be there.

This morning I was listing off to my mom the things I was going to tell Heather about H, what we're doing to take care of her etc.....and my mom gets all antsy and says "Did you tell her to water down her formula?!?!?!" I just looked at her..."Mom, I haven't even left the house yet, how could I have told her that??" (my mom stayed the night w/ me because I'm a paranoid freak that can't stay overnight by myself even though I'm 24) She just looked at me "Oh, yea, right, sorry *giggle* *giggle*" Gawd I love my family. :o)

By the way, I get to clean my carpets tonight, YAY!!! My mom is taking Miss H to her house for a while to play with Ping Pong kitty while I shampoo them. I love clean floors.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

OK, The Chimp thing totally made me lose my cool. I almost peed myself. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Wow.

And the warm toilet seat? Yeah. I'm with on that one too. Gross.