Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I'm wondering now how I could have felt like I dislike my husband, just a week ago. And now, as sudden as it came on, the feeling's gone. It was such a STRONG feeling. Thank God I know not to act on my decisions without thinking in depth about everything. Now, just a week later, I look at him and see somebody that I know I can't live without, no matter how frustrated I get at times. He's my best friend. He knows everything about me. He's the one person, besides my mom, that I feel 100% comfortable around. I can let down my guard and just be me. I love that comfort. And I love him for loving me, despite all my flaws.
Other guys literally make my stomach turn after a while...sometimes just a week, sometimes a couple months...but it ALWAYS happens. There comes a time when I look at them and just think EW. And I turn into a bitch, and they end up not liking me and never talking to me again. I just can't help it. I've been with D over 9 years now, and I am still able to look at him and think how much I love his shoulders, and his arms. And his voice. He's my D, and I don't think that'll ever change. I just need to grow up and realize that that all-consuming love generally just doesn't happen. And honestly, now I don't think I'd want it. We had a talk this weekend where I tried to tell D I felt like we were just really good friends. He disagreed...he told me that we were just well beyond our years, and acted like we'd been married for ages. At first I didn't see it, but after thinking about it for a few days, I see that he's right. I think I just had a momentary freak out, and now that I've dealt with it, we can move on. We do need to learn to respect each other and treat each other with love...that's for sure. But I really think things will get better from here on out. Now that I've realized I don't want anybody else.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
~My husband is a freak about hunting, he's so serious about it...yet he answers his phone with a whisper when I call...?? He's weird.
~I know why I'm with D...he's the only guy I've ever been with that doesn't make me sick to my stomach after a while. I feel like such a bitch...but guys just get old REALLY quick. And they never get the hint.
~I'm freaking starving...cookies for breakfast, Starbuck's for lunch and chocolate for a snack is NOT a healthy, filling diet...
~My sister's actually coming home for Christmas, and I'm so excited I think I could explode.
~I'm in love with Robert Pattinson.
~I don't mind snow but I hate sleet that freezes on my windshield so I can't see where I'm going.
~Christmas is going to be awesome this year.
~I love my new haircut.
~My little brother is almost 14, and that makes me feel SUPER old.
Monday, December 8, 2008
~I'm most likely not going to be staying with my husband. I had an epiphany about 2 weeks ago. I'm turning 26 soon and I don't want to waste the next 10 years of my life with somebody that hurts me left and right, like I have the last 10 years. I want more. I'm sorry. I want to be loved. That's not too much to ask. This is really difficult because while I feel this way now, I can't act on it now. Money and kids complicate things. I'm so confused right now. I don't know what to do or how to proceed. All I know is I want love. I'm sick of waiting. And I'm getting impatient. My family is being totally supportive of me. Thank God for my mom, stepmom and dad. Yes, I did just say thank God for my dad. He has been amazing through all this, giving me advice and guidance. He's being a father, and it's so nice. It's too bad he's about to go to jail. I just want to be friends with D. But I know that could never happen. :( It's all or nothing with him.
~I've been taking care of EVERYTHING around the house with no complaints towards D. I think I'm setting myself up for being a single mom. Why bitch at him a million times to take out the trash when I can just bag it up myself and do a better job?
~I've seen the Twilight movie twice. I'm a Twilight-aholic all of a sudden. I've read all the books, even the partial rough draft online of Midnight Sun on the Stephenie Meyers website. I wish I had an Edward to sweep me off my feet (minus the newborn's hunting me, I have had bad dreams about that...minus the good Edward part, WTF gives??!?!). Because of this movie I'm now in love with Robert Pattinson. I feel like a 13 year old girl again, being so crazy over a famous guy. I think it has something to do with finally finding myself again and not caring what D thinks. All I know is Robert Pattinson is not only hot, but seems to be a very interesting person. LOL I'm such a nerd I know.
~I finally got my hair cut after 1.5 years of letting it grow out. I just got a trim and a few layers, but it looks so much healthier, I freaking LOVE it! I did it on a whim Saturday night. Again, I think it's part of the whole finding myself deal. I've been taking better care of myself lately.
~Hailey's sleeping with us every night now. I've finally admitted to the world that I like having my daughter in bed with me. We go to bed together at night, she cuddles up to my back while I read by the light of my cell phone. It's just so peaceful. I love snuggling with her in the middle of the night. Now if only we could find some way to get D out of the bed...
~By some weird coincidence today I finally found an old friend I've been looking for for years. We'd had crushes on each other our Freshman year in highschool but lost touch when I started dating my then-boyfriend. I've tried to look him up for years with no luck. Then today, right when I'm feeling like I really need a friend to talk to, I got on Facebook and there in the updates I saw his name. Another friend had accepted a friend request from him. I couldn't believe it. So I sent a friend request to him and he IM'd me not 20 minutes later. We talked all day minus the lunch break. I sort of don't know what to think. I feel bad that I'm excited. And there's more to the story. He's engaged to a woman he hates because she cheated on him 6 months ago. If he had the guts or another woman he'd leave her. But he's such a good guy. Very sweet, caring. Always was even back then. He has a 2 year old little girl. But I feel stupid that I feel excited. He lives over 4 hours away. And has a kid. And I'm still married. I'm not being stupid here, we're just getting back in touch and it's been so long but the timing of it all is just so weird.
And now I've gotta go pick up Hailey. I feel like I have no time to blog anymore :(
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Speaking of Darks, the other day Hailey was super happy when I put his CD in the player in the car. She exclaimed "Mommy, this is Darks Bentweys?? Grandma gave it back to us from her car???" It was so cute. She was so excited. And she tries to sing the sings, and dances in her car seat. How cute is she?? I think she's gotta be his youngest fan. Anybody know where to get her a TShirt? LOL
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I'm super excited about the craft show I'm participating in this weekend. It's not a huge one, just a few of us at my friend's house with our displays set up for a couple hours. We invited family, friends and friends of friends. I've made a few bow boards, a bunch of super cute matchbook style notepads, a bunch of gift tags (most in the more traditional style that you just tape on a package), sets that include a card and two coordinating gift tags...5 x 7 Christmas cards...WHEW! And I'm making even more! I'm designing and making some gift card holders tonight that my husband's grandma ordered, and if I like the design enough I may make some of those for the sale as well! We're really hoping it goes well. Anything I don't sell I'll be listing in my Etsy store!
I've started my Christmas shopping already. I have a list of things I want to get for Hailey in regular stores but I'm waiting for the after Thanksgiving sales in hopes I'll find a good bargain on at least some of them. After my awesome experience getting up at the butt crack of dawn to hit the Walmart Black Friday sales last year (leaving Hailey and D home asleep) I'm super excited for this year...even my mom is excited after my experience last year!!! I think we're going to go together and make it a fun little outing...I wonder if Starbuck's opens that early...hmmm. So anyway, back to gifts...the rest of the stuff I've purchased off of, where else, Etsy! I love knowing I'm supporting others just like myself, and the stuff is awesome! I'm having a lot of fun with the season this year. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's not stressing me out at all. I can't wait to decorate for Christmas (my husband is such a Scrooge, he won't let me put up the tree or anything yet...but I snuck out a new "JOY" decoration early and he hasn't noticed teehee!)
That's about all I have time for right now. Hope everyone's having a great week!
I have a small list of favorite photographers. Some really famous, some not quite there yet. I recently came across a shop on Etsy, Photos by Kristybee, that I have fallen in love with and added to my list of favorites.
Kristy's photos are so amazingly beautiful, I wish I could buy every single one. I love how she uses natural light to show off and beautify such simple objects. Her photo composition is amazing...a peaceful, delicate flower against a bright blue sky, highlighted by the sun...just amazing. I could go on and on about Kristy's photos, but they really speak for themselves...
I want Hailey to have these special memories like I do. I may not be as skilled at cooking from scratch as my grandma was, but I can still make pie dough crackers and cookies and apple crisp to name a few. Actually learning the skills isn't necessarily what's important...it's making the memories and having fun cooking with family that really matters.
We've started this tradition slowly, and hopefully will have more time in the coming years. First we made pie dough crackers one week night. She had a blast, but cooking's a messy job...it was clear, Hailey needed an apron. While browsing Etsy one evening I came across Tiny Green Apples. They sell the most adorable personalized aprons, among other things. Hailey adores her apron...it's not just any apron, it's HER apron, because it's got HER name on it...she's sure to let us know :) These aprons are not only adorable, the quality is also amazing. They are heavy duty, yet comfortable. And generously sized too...Hailey will be able to use hers for years and years, but yet it fits her comfortably now. She wore her new apron when we made Halloween cookies and it was MESSY by the time we were done...but her clothes weren't! I just threw the apron in the washer and dryer, and voila! Good as new!
This mom and daughter apron set would be a perfect Christmas gift for a mother with a little girl...
I absolutely LOVE the Christmas tree style of aprons they have right now. How cute are they??
Tiny Green Apples sells more than just aprons. They have all sorts of personalized bags to choose from as well.
If you're in the market for personalized gifts for Christmas this year, definitely head on over and check out Tiny Green Apples today!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
I'm also super super excited to report that I'll be taking part in my very first Christmas Bazaar of sorts!! One of my friends makes and sells all sorts of things, hair bows, quilts etc. and we both thought it would be really fun to hold a little mini show at her house (thankfully not at my house!) a few weeks from now. We've already got the flyer made and we're inviting family, friends and friends of friends! I'm hoping it goes well...I'm not sure how much stock I should have to take, I have no idea how I'm going to display my items (any ideas??) and I'm not sure how many people are going to come, but I'm still super excited! (Okay and nervous, I'll admit it.) This means I really need to get cracking and get a bunch of stuff made! I'm going to try out some more traditional gift tags as well as the style I currently carry in my shop. The kind with adhesive on the back that you can just stick to a package instead of the tie on style. Hopefully they turn out like I want them to!
I've started using the money I've made from selling my crafts to buy a few Christmas presents...on Etsy of course :) I'd marked a shop I found in the forums the other day that had a great item for stocking stuffers. Imagine my surprise when I checked her shop this morning and she was having a sale! Awesome!! Kaya Papaya sells (among other items) recycled crayons at a great price. I've always loved crayons and coloring...my Mamaw got me started on that when I was a teeny tiny little girl. The idea of crayons melted down into shapes with different color combos is just so neat! I got this bear for Hailey, along with a couple other shapes/sets...
Hailey is going to LOVE getting these in her stocking this year!
Gotta go get myself dressed and feed the kiddos, and then get started crafting! Hope everyone's having a great weekend!!
1. When I get the slightest bit cold, my toes go numb. If I get REALLY cold, my feet go numb. I have no idea why.
2. My absolute favorite color is blue. I'm drawn to it. In stores I gravitate towards anything blue. It's just so calming and peaceful and pleasing to my eyes. I'm very happy to report that my daughter has fallen in my footsteps and loves blue as well :)
3. I love vintage Pyrex. The colors and patterns are just amazing. I don't own any, unfortunately, but I will one of these days!
4. When I have to park downtown (which I'm getting good at these days since my mom works down there now and I love meeting her for lunch...yay for parallel parking!) I generally forget that I need change for the parking meters. Luckily I've never gotten a ticket. On the rare occasion I do have change (I'm really trying to be more prepared) I use what I need in my meter and then as I'm walking to my destination I use the extra nickels or dimes that I have for other people's meters that have run out of time. Apparently this is illegal, (why???) but it makes me feel good so I do it anyway.
5. I can sew. As in, really sew. I've been sewing since I was teeny. My grandma used to have me help her cut fabric for quilts when I was 3 and 4 years old, and then I moved on to sewing by hand and then by machine when I was about 7 or 8. I would absolutely LOVE to have a nice sewing machine. And time. Oh the things I could make...
6. If I was rich I would totally have a personal chef. They do their own dishes too, right??
7. My favorite number is 7. Always has been. It's like the color blue. Looking at it just makes me happy. :)
Instead of tagging people like I normally do, I'm just going to pull one of those "If you wanna do it, do it, and leave me a comment telling me you did so I can check your answers" dealies. ;)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A bag of these would be the perfect gift for someone special...or to treat yourself, because you know you're worth it! Another incentive to try these caramels? Until November 15, Rachelle is offering all my loyal readers 20% off their order! All you have to do is mention the name of my blog in the "Notes to seller" portion of the checkout process!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
If you're looking for a high-quality bib that will last your children for years to come, you have to check out NeatNiks Bibs!
Want to try a NeatNiks Bib?? They're giving away a small bib (your choice) to one of my lucky readers!! All you have to do to have a chance to win is:
1. Visit NeatNiks Bibs, take a look around, come back here and leave me a comment telling me what your favorite bib is from their shop!
2. Want an extra entry? Blog about this giveaway! Be sure to post the link to both NeatNiks Bibs and this post. Then leave me a second comment with the link to your post!
3. If you make a purchase from NeatNiks Bibs leave me a 3rd comment with your Etsy username and the product you purchased...I'll give you 3 extra entries into the contest!
The contest will end November 9th. Don't forget to put your email address in your comment if you don't have your email posted on your blog! If you win you will have 3 days to reply after I contact you. If I don't get a reply in that time frame I will be forced to choose a new winner.
Good luck everybody!!
From the Mimas website:
"These homecrafted fitted cloth diapers/nappies are made of 100% all NEW cotton fleece or super flannel. My fitted cloth diapers are highly absorbant with a total of 9 layers, 2 - 100% cotton/fleece outer shell (very soft on the little ones bum), 1- 100% inner liner with a 6 layer soaker pad made of 100% cotton & terrycloth to absorb liquid and wick away from babies so they keep dry and comfortable, each soaker pad is sown to the inner liner with quilt stitching to prevent wading and bunching of the soaker pad, your cloth diapers will last wash after wash, each diaper/nappy has 1/4" elastic stitched to back and legs, this helps to fit to baby and protect against leakage. All diapers/nappies come with washing and drying instructions. All diapers/nappies have hook and loop fastners,no more pins or poking of babies during changing, we also rounded the edges of the hook and loop for additional comfort and safety."If you're in the market for cloth diapers, inserts, washable wipes or an adorable Christmas gift for the little one in your life, you have to visit Mimas. With amazing quality and unbelievable prices, you won't be disappointed!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Turns out they aren't zits...
Convo between Hailey and my mom last night:
Mom: "Hailey why do the people have zits all over their faces?"
Hailey: "They not zits! They ipples!"
Mom: "You mean pimples??"
Hailey: "NO! IPPLES! LIKE THESE!" (as she pulls up her shirt and points to her nipples...)
Just when I thought she had this "face" drawing thing down...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I'm working on some stuff that I am SUPER excited about...
First off, I got an order for 30 assorted Christmas tags and I am having so much fun coming up with ideas! I went to Hobby Lobby at lunch today and got some more supplies...I'll post pics when I'm done tonight!!
I've also got some ideas for some more of the 3x3 mini cards for Christmas/winter that involves stamping in silver ink! Too fun! I'm also FINALLY going to add some punches to the shop as I got a set of Christmas punches today finally! The set included a snowman, Christmas tree, ornament and a snowflake!
Now a question for all of you! What colors are you going to be looking for in a Christmas card this year? What color combos do you find pretty? Thanks!!
I'm hoping and praying that this shop really takes off. Besides the obvious need for extra money, whenever something buys something I've made it gives me a huge boost of confidence. I feel important knowing I can do something extra to bring in money!
Monday, October 27, 2008
It's like a little portable bow board! Just add your clips, fold it up, snap and go! How cool is that!? It'll work for alligator and french clips too, as well as the snap clips pictured above! This clip holder isn't just for travel either...hang it on a door knob at home, or suction cup it to your bathroom mirror and voila! Instant mini bow board! That way when it's time to leave the house, just fold, snap and go...with all your clips in tow! Fully extended, this clip holder is 21 inches long by 4 inches wide so it's a really nice size! And the price isn't bad at all either! If I had any extra money right now we would definitely be purchasing one of these nifty little things! If you've got a little girl and she wears hair clips (or know a little girl who does and need a gift for her), you have to go check out this clip holder at Cutesie Clips!! And while you're there, check out some of her hair clips...they're just too cute!
See, this day's looking up already! :)
Last night as I was lying in bed with Hailey something told me to let her sleep with us. She wasn't asking and she would have gone to sleep in her own bed. But I trust my instincts so she slept with us last night. Which means not a very good night's sleep for D and I...but it's a good thing I did. This morning while I was standing at the bathroom sink washing my face the heat kicked on. There's a vent right in front of the sink that I stand on to keep my feet warm. Not this morning. It was like the air conditioner kicked on. Lovely. No wonder the rest of the house was so cold. Our room was okay since the three of us slept in there but the rest of the house was freezing. Hailey would have been so cold if she'd slept in her own bed. Another plus of renting...one simple call to the friendly maintenance guy and they're going to have a repair guy go and take a look. And fix it with no cost to me. Because I don't own the place...YAY!
She's still coughing bad from her cold, to the point where it's gagging her. I feel so bad for her. My husband's got it too, so of course he's convinced he's got strep and just SO sick...although that didn't stop him from hunting and playing golf Saturday...SIGH
Then I realized as I go out to get the car started warming up that I forgot to get gas yesterday. And the gas light was on. And my car was about to die. So I hurried Hailey out the door and had to go get gas. That's when I noticed the highway that I take to get to work was down to one lane and moving extremely slow.
My mom called me on her way to work this morning and informed me that the bag of bread I bought her at Walmart yesterday (along with the two loaves I bought for us) had a gnat in the bag. GROSS. And this was good Sara Lee bread too! I got all three loaves from the same batch (same sell by date) so now I'm paranoid about the loaves I bought for us. Makes me not want to eat the pb&j I made for lunch today! What would you do if you were in my situation??? Would you take your two loaves of bread back too? My mom's taking hers back. She saved the gnat in a baggy LOL but would you eat yours? It's not like I checked my bag for gnats. One thing's for sure...I'm not buying Sara Lee bread anymore.
Hailey's supposed to get her flu shot this evening. The dr. said they'll still give it to her with her cold if I'm comfortable with it. Why would I not be? She wouldn't give me an answer to that. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I mean she's my first kid...that's why I asked the dr. (well ok, the nurse...) and I was sort of expecting a better answer/explanation. So do I reschedule the shot and have to wait another few weeks for her to get it??? I'm not sure what to do!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The baby shower last weekend went amazingly well! My sister in law's work buddies were so sweet to me and my sister in law had a great time! Here's a picture of the table...Ain't it purdy?? Anywho...more good news...Hailey's potty trained! YAY!! It is so awesome to not have to worry about changing diapers anymore. And it's all thanks to M&M's! Which she doesn't ask for anymore by the way. I'd read somewhere that a lady used one bag of M&M's to potty train her little girl, and I have to say it worked PERFECTLY for Hailey. One bag is all it took! (Actually she has some brown ones left over...apparently they don't taste as good as the colored ones, because they're Boring Brown.)
Some not so great news...I recently found out my husband failed to inform me that he is only part time at school this year. HELLO, would have been wonderful to know that BEFORE I got the bills from my buddies Mohela and Sally Mae wanting their money starting December. That's over $200 a month we just don't have right now. I mean he's not working! He's still in school! And too lazy to spend his spare time working! So I'm totally freaking out about what to do. This really pushed me to start my Etsy shop, which people have been encouraging me like crazy to do anyway. I figured if I'm going to have a hobby and do something I love, I should try to make some money doing it. Since my health problems prevent me from working a second job, and I'm doing these crafts to make myself happy (um, and keep myself from going completely batty) I might as well do what makes me happy AND make money, right?? Well, let's hope. I'm trying my darndest. I *hopefully* have a custom order in the works. I'm going to work on that tonight. I'll be adding more and more each day...I've got some cute Christmas/Wintery tags in the works!! Any special requests, just let me know! I'm working on getting my photos to come out ok...they either seem to turn out too dark or w/ the color off. Unfortunately, my camera is not the best at taking pictures of things like this. So oh yea, I guess I should post the banner to my shop...
Oh yea, and I guess I should detail what I'm selling...tags, punches, confetti, cards, that sort of thing. I have a LOT to list in the upcoming weeks!
Another thing going on that has prevented me from getting much done this week. Darned dr. appointments. Monday I had to go across town to get blood drawn. (ew) Yesterday was my last appointment (completely POINTLESS taking my money for NOTHING appointment) with the rheumatologist. Today I met with my GP to talk about the results of my sleep study (apparently I'm a totally crappy sleeper, go figure) and what to do about it. 2 hours, 2 prescriptions and a million new worries later, I drove back across town and hit up the local craft store to buy myself a snowflake punch. You know, to make me feel better. Some people use alcohol, some use chocolate...I use crafts. LOL I know, I'm a nerd. So the meds they put me on...one for my reflux, not a big deal except that's another 10$ a month. The other is a medicine for Parkinsen's. Yea...not excited about taking that one. It's supposed to help with the RLS (because apparently in the 6.5 hrs. I slept that night at the hospital, my legs moved over 270 times...and apparently, that's a lot...) but it can also cause fatigue. So I'm going to cure my fatigue, and in return, probably get more fatigue. Uh huh. And how is that supposed to be an effective solution?? They've also referred (or forwarded, which is the term that seems more appropriate in this situation) me to a neurologist to rule out narcolepsy and a couple other sleep issues that I don't remember the name to. Good Lord I don't have narcolepsy! And they want me to do another sleep study, this time a night and the whole next day. Do they not understand these things cost money? And time off work that I can't afford to take?
What I NEED is for my husband to buck up and grow some balls and be a real man and take care of his wife and kid. Is there a pill out there for that? I won't even ask for the generic, I promise...
Sandy is one of the people that has far superior bow-making abilities than I. She is the proud owner of a lovely Etsy shop called Reid's Reserves in which she sells the cutest little hair bows and clips!
Looking for Christmas themed bows? Sandy will be posting a lot of those soon! But don't wait til then, check out Reid's Reserves today! Her bows and clips are just too cute to pass up!