Thursday, January 4, 2007

Came across a place in the middle of nowhere with a big black horse and a cherry tree...

That song has been running through my head all stinking day!!!
So today is going ok. I'm avoiding any bitchings by the wicked witch of the west. The day's half over. My friend, the one I mentioned in the last post, messaged me this morning and said they haven't had any decent applicants for that position so far, and that I should go ahead and send in my resume soon. So that's exciting. I'm not getting my hopes up, but hey it's better news than it could be. If they do offer me the job I'm hoping they'll wait til mid February for me to start, so I can get profit sharing at my current job and then give my notice. I've been told that if I give my notice even a few days before profit sharing may be given out, that they will either tell me to go ahead and go or they'll wait til after I'm gone to give out profit sharing. Which is bullshit, because I worked here all last year just like everybody else, I put in my time, and I deserve that money for the work I did last year! So if they want me sooner than that, God I would be so stupid to tell them sorry that won't work, just so I can get profit sharing...pass up a great opportunity to have a new job and be HAPPY, just for a couple thousand $??? That's a wouldn't be if I didn't have to worry about money, but we are SO strapped for cash it's rediculous. I was counting on that money. Anyway, I'm going to get started on my resume tonight and hopefully get that sent really soon.

So my husband snored all night last night...WOW exciting I know. But I just have to bitch about this. He can't breathe through his nose hardly at ALL, so when he sleeps he breathes REALLY LOUD through his mouth, and it wakes me up and keeps me up and damnit I am TIRED. And last night it was so loud it woke our daughter up(her crib is in our bedroom) here we are, my husband sleeping like a log(except for me poking him every 2 minutes to make him quit snoring) and my daughter and I laying awake exhausted in our beds listening to him. He got so pissed after I poked him so many times, I believe he muttered that if I did it one more time he would punch me. Which of course he never would, so this made me laugh, and 30 seconds later I poked him for snoring too loudly again. He refused to go sleep on the couch. I didn't want to leave our daughter in there to suffer alone, and I didn't want to get her out of her crib and wake her up even more, so I laid there and suffered with her. And when I brought up the subject to my husband this morning and suggested we move her crib into her own bedroom and put a twin bed in there for me to crawl into on the nights he gets particularly bad(like last night) he said absolutely not. He thinks it would be horrible for us to sleep in separate beds on occassion, even though I am so dead tired that I almost can't bear it anymore. I drink caffiene all day to stay awake, which is bad for my heart issues that I have, and then I do housework and take care of my daughter all night while he's at work...then he gets home at 10 and sexually harrasses me until I either give in or go to bed, and then I can't even sleep because he is out like a light snoring heavily in my face. But I'm seriously thinking about just doing it anyway...which brings up another dilemma...

moving my daughter to her own bedroom. I have to be honest, she's not in there for her sake, she's in there for mine. For one, I cannot sleep unless I am in the same room with her. I know that I would eventually get over this and get used to it(God let's hope anyway) but it would take some time. We used to have her crib in her own room at the old apartment, and when she switched to her crib from her bassinet I tried it a couple nights, and both nights I stayed wide awake, laying there in bed holding the baby monitor with volume on high to my ear. "Oh God, she's not breathing, she quit breathing...or maybe she didn't quit breathing, maybe somebody snuck in and STOLE HER!! She's gone, I know she's gone, oh God somebody stole my baby!!"......nevermind the fact that we were in a second story apartment, and surely if I can hear something so quiet as my baby breathing over the monitor I would have heard somebody breaking in and stealing her...I'm not crazy, just WAY OVERLY paranoid. I get it from my dad. So anyway, then she got sick and had to go into the hospital, and she slept just fine in the little hospital crib, and I slept just fine in the hospital bed, and when we got home two days later I ordered my husband to move the crib to our bedroom, and we've both slept great ever since...well except for the damn snoring. I'm sure she'd be fine in her own bedroom, and honestly I am scared that if we don't switch her now while she doesn't know the difference she will be stuck in our room forever, and I can't have that because when the next baby comes it will need to be in our room for a while. The second problem with moving her into her own room is also a problem with me...when she does cry on occassion at night, I can just sit up and see what's wrong without even having to get out of bed...and if I need to get up and find her pacifier for her and pop it in her mouth, it takes all of 10 seconds and then I can walk over and plop right back into bed. I'm going to have to walk all the way to the other room down the hall if I move her into her own bedroom...and then I know once I get to her room she'll stop crying and I will have gotten up and walked all that way for nothing...but then if I don't get up she'll cry and cry and wake herself up to where she can't go back to sleep. ???? And skipping back to the twin bed in her room thing for a minute...I don't want to get so used to sleeping in there that I don't ever sleep in my own bed with my husband anymore either. The only reason for this 2nd bed would be so I could get some sleep...and also that kind of defeats the purpose of moving her crib into her own room so she'll get used to sleeping by herself...sigh...I guess I should just move her and at least let her get some sleep. Definately something to do over a weekend though because I have a feeling when she wakes up in a weird room she's going to freak for a few nights.

My cat stole my daughter's chicken nugget sometime in the middle of the night last night. It was my toy as a little girl, and I've now passed it on to my daughter. It stays in the fridge of her little toy kitchen in the dining room. It's just the nugget, and he has little eyes...we lost the box long ago. And this morning he was laying next to the front door, just staring up at the cat's been nutty lately. I thought I heard her banging something around last night. But why the nugget I wonder?? She's so weird.

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