The week's half over!!

I have a bad feeling I’m getting a cold. I’m really achy all over to the point where I’m hobbling around like an old lady (I have hip problems anyway)…I’d think it was just from this extreme cold, except I have this tickle in my chest that keeps making me cough. Two ladies here at work are out sick. One sits in the cubicle right next to me, the other I get coffee with every morning. I SOOOO did not want to get sick. I know nobody ever wants to get sick, but I mean I CANNOT get sick because I don’t want to pass anything on to Miss H. She’s already been sick how many times now, I’m ready for her to be healthy and well for a good long stretch of time! If spring would just hurry up and get here we could all open up the windows and air everything out. It’s so funny because every year I used to look forward to winter, I loved bundling up and snow and all that. Now I don’t think I’ve ever hated winter this much. Usually by about now I’m looking forward to spring and my mood starts to get a little blah. But this year, I HATE winter, I LOATHE it, and I’m so ready for spring I could scream.
Last night my mom and I went grocery shopping. I used to make my husband go with me, but he spent the whole time griping and not paying attention so I started going with my mom and now it’s so much fun. And Miss H LOVES shopping. She babbles and points at everything on the shelves and tries to grab whatever’s in reach. Usually Miss H has no problems waiting til we get home to eat…but last night evidently she was starving and we took a little too long for her liking, because when we got up to the checkout and started putting her baby foods and yogurts up on the conveyer belt thing she lunged at them yelling and was trying to poke her little finger through the yogurt tops. It was so funny! She wasn’t upset, just VERY excited at seeing all her food. She’s changing daily, it amazes me. Every single day she doesn’t something new and acts less like a little baby. It’s so hard to explain without someone actually seeing for themselves. This morning she was still tired, so when I was getting dressed she was fussing…she took her pacifier out of her mouth, looked right at me and gave me a big ol fake fuss, complete with a big juicy tear rolling down her cheek. She fell over on the floor and just lay there whimpering. So pitiful. And she’s been hugging me for a while now, but lately her hugs have been extra special. She grabs me around my neck and squeezes like she’s never going to let go, it’s the sweetest thing in the whole world. She comes over and climbs into my lap and stands up and just hugs and hugs me. Melts my heart every time. What on earth did I ever do without her???

On the Market

I can't remember if I already blogged about this yesterday or not, sorry if I already did. I got a call yesterday from our rental agency, they're showing our unit today to a potention buyer. I had no idea our building was on the market, and I'm pretty upset now that I find that out. We just moved to this townhouse last September. We're renewing our lease for another year...we have to renew this month even though our lease isn't up until July...so we'll be locked in until July of 2008 at least. But after that, whoever the new buyer is can change anything on the lease they want...up the rent, say the rent doesn't include cable, whatever they feel like. And we can't afford a higher rent or cable costs. And we were planning on staying there for at least a few more years, so when hubby gets out of school we can pay off the credit cards and other bills we have, then save up money for a house. We like where we live, it's fairly large at 1200 sqft. And we LOVE the rental agency we're with! They have been so incredibly WONDERFUL, bending over backwards to accomodate us and our daughter, letting us move to a bigger/quieter place before our lease was up, dropping moving charges, I mean they've been great. And any problem you have the fix right away. When we moved to this place the thermostat was ancient and came on when you barely touched the whole unit...they came that same day and replaced it with a brand new digital one. At our last apt. we rented from them, we got ants one summer...they came that same day and sprayed for them. They even came and changed a light bulb for us in the dining room(we thought it was a special bulb, DUH just a regular one)...anything breaks, they fix it right away. Stove went out? Here's a brand new one! Microwave caput? Here's a shiny new one! And the office people are beyond wonderful, always so friendly and helpful. And this is a huge rental agency, not a little privately owned deal. They even send me a birthday card every year! I do NOT want to rent from anybody else. So I'm stressed about this now. :o( Also, since they were having a potential buyer come into our unit to check out the one-story floorplan(why oh why did they have to pick OUR unit to represent?) I had to do some tidying up last night. I had a ton of clothes to put away...I don't mind washing them, even folding them...but I HATE putting them away. I don't know why. So I spent the better part of last night clearing off the bar and the couch and the chair, putting the clothes away. The plus side to this is I found a lot of clothes I thought were missing! Jeez... anyway I also picked up random things and put them away, cleaned the master bathroom as best as I could(we're using the shower area as storage right now) and tidied up the kitchen a bit. I don't want somebody walking in and saying "jeez these people are slobs!" and I don't want a representative of the rental agency going back and telling the agency we've got too much crap for our place to hold. So the place looks nice, for now...it'll take a few days for my husband to undo everything I did, but at least it'll look nice for a few days. But now I'm SO TIRED. I can't hardly get any work done, I'm just exhausted. And I'm freezing...I'm sitting her at my desk sitting on a heating pad. That's how cold it is right now.
After feeding Miss H her dinner last night, she has spaghetti crusted all over her face, body, diaper and legs. I was using baby wipes to clean her off, and she was crying and crying...she HATES having her face wiped off after eating, let alone her whole body. So I'm trying to hurry so I can get her all cleaned off so I can put her warm pjs on her(I didn't have time to give her a bath, and she didn't need one she just needed wiped off) and what does my husband do but come over and scold me for making her so cold and scoops her up and holds her like I was killing her. I have him lay her down on the living room floor next to her diaper bin so I can change her now red and orange noodled diaper and wipe her legs off some more, and she cries and cries again, so as soon as I put her new diaper on her he does it again, he scoops her up and she's wimpering taking him for all he's worth. She does this every night while I clean her off. Not quite so bad, but she's not usually as messy as she was last night. But she always cries. And I still clean her off. She's got to learn she has to be cleaned off! He isn't usually there when I'm doing this, he's usually at work at that point. He messed up our whole routine, and what's worse he held her so long that for an hour or so after that she wouldn't have anything to do with me! Big bad mommy cleaned her off oh my goodness and then prince daddy came and whisked her away from the big bad evil mommy and cuddled and coddled her. GRRR I cuddle her, I baby her, AFTER I get her pjs on her. I was not torturing her, I wasn't hurting her, I was cleaning her off which she hates. And he made me feel so horrible. I told him fine if he wants to do it his way, he can get her dressed and I was going to eat dinner. So he got her dressed and I fumed the whole time. I want him to help in the mornings, I want him to help sometimes with her feedings. But when he does things like that, and then actually has her acting like I hurt her to where she doesn't want anything to do with me for a while...ok that just doesn't work for me. I'm trying really hard to remind myself constantly that he is her parent too, not just me, and he has some say in her life and how we care for her, but it's still so hard. I'm the one that handles everything, I'm the one that does most of her care. And then he jumps in like he did last night, and it just did not go over well with me.
I found out last night that Miss H can open lids. I gave her her container of sweet potato puffs to play with while I was changing her diaper before dinner. And she went right for the lid, popped it off, poured puffs all over her face, scooped up handfulls, shoved them in her mouth, and ate them. WHEN did she learn to open lids, and WHEN did she start actually eating the puffs instead of just spitting them out????? How did I miss this?? I know she probably does this at the sitters all the time. And that makes me sad. How did I not know this about her?? The older she gets, I'm feeling the way I did when she was a couple months old and I was going back to work. I want to be there with her every second, I miss her every second I'm away from her...I want to be there teaching her things, comforting her when she falls, feeding her...and I'm tired of missing things.

Where'd the weekend go??

Well this past weekend was really busy, and now it's Monday and I'm soooooooo tired and not at all ready to be back to work.
I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before or not, but Miss H is really into books now. She spends a lot of her playtime “reading” her books. When she sees the pile she says “Buh! Buh!” She especially loves one of her “feel and learn” books about farm animals. Her two favorite pages are the cows and the sheepdogs. When she looks at the cow page she says “ooooooooo” or “booooooooo” because I’ve been telling her the cow says “moooooooooooo.” It’s so cute.
This weekend Miss H started using the push toy we got her for Christmas. It’s one of those things that stands up and has a handle on it so they can walk along and push it in front of them. She’s used sturdier models at the baby sitter’s, but this weekend she finally started using the more tipsy one we got her, and boy does she love it! She pulls herself up and off she goes, and when she runs into something like the couch or a wall she tries to turn it! So we turn it for her and the second we let go she takes off in a run. I’m wondering when she’s going to start trying to take steps on her own. She’s been “cruising” along the furniture for quite a while now, and she’s even stood on her own a few times. And she’s such a little daredevil, diving off furniture etc. Everybody tells me “oh she’ll be walking soon!” but I guess we’ll see. We ran by the Mall last night to exchange a pair of jeans my mother in law got me for my birthday (too big) and everybody was asking how old she is. I told them 9 and a half months and everybody said “oh, she looks so much older! I would have guessed a year or a year and a half!” Ok I don’t think she looks that big! The lady in Hallmark said “oh she’s too smart for 9 months!” I think her hair makes her look older, since it’s so long already. It’s over 4 inches long, and when I put it in pigtails she really looks older.
BLAH I’m so tired I can’t even think. I had a pounding headache all weekend and part of last week, I think from my wisdom tooth that I need to have removed. So I didn’t get much rest all weekend, and then we were really busy on top of that. We did have a “date” Saturday night though. We took Miss H to the in-laws and used some gift cards we got for Christmas to go to Red Lobster. We were pleasantly surprised when we found out that a law was passed sometime earlier this month that bans smoking in all restaurants in town. Shows you just how much we get to go out to eat these days! It’s so funny, everything you read says that after you have a baby you need to make these “date nights” special. You know, dress up, pay attention to each other, don’t talk about the kids. We do everything wrong. We wear whatever’s comfortable (hey at least I put on jeans and some makeup!) we sit and chat about Miss H or stare at the TV…I always think man people must think we’re on a date (since we look so young) and that we have nothing in common and aren’t going to make it to a second date or something, because WOW do we look bored LOL. But we have fun in our own way…just not having to do anything is nice, having people bring us food, sitting together not having to talk about anything serious like bills or chores. And we’ve been together over 7 years, we’re not your typical newlyweds. We did have fun, we joked around, ate, and even shared dessert. I did miss Miss H while we were gone, I always do, but the break was nice, even if it was just for a few hours.

TGIF!!

Well this week has been pretty boring, still cold, still tired. It’s supposed to get into the 50’s here today, but I’ll believe it when I see it. I wish it would, maybe we could get rid of all this snow and ice lying around. I almost fell this morning, right as I was getting into my car. Thank God I had already put Miss H in her seat. I was about to get into the drivers seat and slipped on some invisible ice.
My sister came over last night. She’s about 4 years younger than I am but we’re really close. She’s pretty mature for her age. Her boyfriend of 1 year is in Iraq(they’ve known each other forever). He was supposed to be home in time for Miss H’s 1st birthday, but we recently found out he won’t be home til June now…well I take that back, after that we found out he will now be home sometime in May. Hopefully if the date changes again, it’ll go back to sometime in April. We all want him home. He’s a Marine, infantry (or something like that, not sure of the exact terms). I hate it that he has to be there, he is such a nice guy, loves my sister to death. They’re making plans now to get married when he gets back, and then * sob sob sob * they plan on moving to California :o( That’s where the base is that he lives at until he gets out of the service, so instead of doing the long distance thing for another year or two my sister is planning on moving out there too. Which makes me so incredibly sad. Happy for her, but really sad…she’s one of my best friends, I love her to pieces, and I will miss her incredibly bad if she leaves. But that is a ways off from now, so we’ll see what happens. Anyway, she came over last night and Miss H had a blast. She loves her Aunt A. We let her pull all the Kleenex’s out of the box and spread them all throughout the house. We would then gather them all up and rain them down on her like snow, she thought it was hilarious. All my sister has to do is look at Miss H and she lets out a giggle.
Well thank God it’s Friday. I’m really looking forward to the weekend. Work was busy this week. Busy but boring. The highlight of my week was yesterday when we got our new flat panel monitors…we’ve been waiting for over a year now. Much more room on my desk now, much nicer. Yipee!!
Ok I’m really looking forward to spring & summer this year!! I cannot WAIT to start taking Miss H on walks again. She has always loved going on walks, and the only time she’s been on a walk lately is a couple times over the winter in the Mall, which she absolutely LOVED(I think the girl is going to take after me and love shopping) but I can’t wait to get her out in the parks again and get her some fresh air. And I can’t wait to take her swimming…she was too young last year. She had 2 swimsuits but I was ultra-paranoid about her getting a sunburn and you can’t use sunscreen until they’re 6 months old, so the only time she wore them was for pictures. This year she’ll be walking and I can put her cute little suit on her and sandals and she’ll splash in the water. She loves her baths, so I’m hoping she’ll love swimming. We’re getting her a little pool to put on the back porch. She has no summer clothes so far, so we’re going to have to go shopping too. DARN! A friend of mine has a little girl that will be 2 in July, and she gave me a whole box of her clothes from last summer for Miss H. But they’re all 12 months, so they fit her NOW. None of them are going to fit when it gets warm enough to actually wear them! I don’t think Miss H is exceptionally huge, I mean she’s only 28 inches long and 18 lbs 11 oz….75th percentiles for both…but the dr. did say she is the size of most 1 yr. olds. And I guess this must be somewhat true, because she’s the size right now that my friend’s little girl was at 1 yr. I have a friend who has a baby boy that is a week or so older than Miss H, and she thinks Miss H is SO TINY. Her son is like 26 lbs and over 30 inches long, and he’s only almost 10 months. I’m sorry but my daughter isn’t tiny and it’s not like I deprive her of food, she’s got a big fat belly and eats like a horse. I think she’s perfect! She just burns off a lot of calories because she’s so active. I mean she’s been crawling for months now and she’s been cruising around furniture for a couple months. Now she’s standing on her own without holding onto anything! I know she’ll be walking by her 1st birthday, if she’s not I’ll be so surprised. And I’m just picturing her this summer walking around in her little shorts and tank tops with her little chubby legs, in pigtails and sunglasses. She’s going to be so stinking cute!!! Hopefully she’ll be talking more by then too, so far her vocabulary consists of one word phrases like “mama, dada, uh-oh, ball, book, oh.” And I’m really hoping she’ll have more teeth by then! She got her first 2 teeth within a couple days of each other when she was about 5 or 6 months old(bad mommy, I don’t remember!!) and she hasn’t gotten any more since! WHEN WILL SHE GET MORE TEETH??? I’m having horrible visions of her being toothless forever.
Well I’ve got a pounding headache today, that started this morning and is not letting up a bit. Hopefully it will go away by this afternoon, it’s making it hard to look at my monitor or read anything, which makes it hard to get much work done.

50 Things About Me...

1. Height?
5'2"

2.Have you ever smoked heroine?
Oh goodness NO!

3. Do you own a gun?
No, my husband does though…but he keeps them at his parents

4. Are you bossy? Hell yes

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Not usually no

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
A summer staple for barbecues!! And also a must for camping.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
I love them all…I have always loved Christmas music! I used to sing The First Noel all the time when I was little, and Silent Night…heck I sang them all, all year…probably drove my mom nuts! I think I'm probably one of the very few people in our office that doesn't complain when they start playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
On weekdays I usually have a cup of my French Vanilla Cappuccino stuff if I can afford a can of it that month

9. Can you do push ups?
Probably! LOL….my arms have gotten so strong from lugging my daughter around!

10. Is your bathroom clean?
Uh, one of them is pretty much clean…the other I'm currently using for storage. I wouldn't call it dirty, I'd just call it messy.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
I don't have just one favorite…the rings my mom has given me, and my wedding set…

12. Do you like painkillers?
Well if I'm in horrible pain, and the painkiller takes that away, then YES.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Oh lord, you know I have no idea how I've been so appealing all these years because I really think I do everything wrong…I'm shy at first, I don't wear much makeup, I don't do my hair, I wear sloppy clothes most of the time…???? Your guess on that one is as good as mine…

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
Nope, far from it….hubby does though

15. Do you like sunshine or shade?
Depends on how bright the sun is

16. Middle Name?
I'm sure if you really need to know it, you know…

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. Is it time to go home yet???
2. I wonder what my daughter is doing
3. I can't wait to get profit sharing so I can pay off a few bills

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?—I charged one of them, does that count???
1. A new pair of jeans…a size 2, YAY!!!!!!
2. Diapers
3. Butt Cream

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. Dt. Pepsi or Mt. Dew for lunch
2. French Vanilla Cappuccino stuff mentioned earlier
3. Water

20. Favorite song?
I'm not really that into music, but I love Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, and No Rain by Blind Melon

21. Favorite time of day?
On the weekdays, whatever time I'm getting off work...on the weekends, whatever time of day I'm not tired!

22. Current worry?
FREAKING MONEY……I hate it.

23. Current hate?
FREAKING MONEY……..as I said before, I hate it. Would love to have more…

24. Favorite place to be?
Anywhere that I'm happy!

25. How did you bring in the New Year?
Spent some of it at the in-laws, then went home to put my daughter to bed and hubby and I watched a movie

26. Where would you like to go?
On a vacation!! I'd like to see the mountains in Colorado, but heck I'd settle for a weekend at the Lake!

27. Do you own slippers?
YEP!

28. What shirt are you wearing?
A coral colored sweater(work clothes)

29. Do you burn or tan?
I tan really easily, but I can burn if it's the start of summer and I am out way too long

30. Favorite color(s)?
BLUE!!!!!!

31. Would you be a pirate?
Uh, no

32. Dream job?
Either to be a housewife, or to work somewhere fun like a zoo or preschool or something

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't sing in the shower…music annoys me most of the time.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Everything…aliens was a big fear, bad men that were going to break in and steal me or kill me, whatever was lurking under my bed or in my closet…ok I admit it I'm still afraid of most of those things LOL…I'm ultra paranoid about somebody either breaking in and hurting us or stealing my daughter, or somebody lurking in the attic spying on us and coming down at night to hurt us :o( I am a very paranoid person, always have been.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
Nada

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Hm…would have to be either my daughter eating spaghetti last night, or her playing in the tub…or when I played Mario Kart with hubby before bed last night

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
My flowered ones…bright green vines with little pink, yellow and blue flowers on them…they were SO soft and smooth!! Also my character pillow cases(I think it was Mickey, Pluto etc.)

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Injury?? Um…I can't really think of any injuries I've had…probably my daughter coming out my hooha…I only had a small 2nd degree tear, like 4 stitches, but man it reeked havoc on my muscles and I hurt so bad for so long…

39. Last time you cried.
Hm…I don't remember!!

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Only one that is plugged in, we have another one in the closet but the picture is kind of fuzzy and it's not plugged in.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Hm, I guess my sister??

42. Who is your most silent friend?
Sarah

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
My hubby…….awwwwwwwww

44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
Yep

45. What is your favorite book?
Oh goodness, I can't pick just one. There are WAYYYYYYYY too many. The Potter series is great!

46. What is your favorite candy?
star bursts(ooooooooooh just remembered I have some of those in my purse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Mike N Ikes, truffles from The Candy Factory

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
I don't know who it's by, but we danced to that song that says "You're my best friend"…..makes me cry to this day when I listen to it……awwwwwwwwwwww

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Hm, I guess I'm morbid but I've thought about this off and on my whole life…sometimes I'll hear a song and think "I want that played at my funeral"…….I really need to start writing them down though because I don't remember any of them.

49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
Getting ready to go to bed

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Oh man it's time to get up already? I'm so freaking tired…man I'm going to be late to work…but I'm so freaking tired

Sketti time!!

Well Miss H had spaghetti for the first time last night for dinner. She LOVED it! She also got it everywhere, in her hair, behind the pad to the high chair...made for some cute pictures!! And it didn't hurt her tummy a bit. She also had green beans with potatoes, and applesauce. So I guess we'll start including her in our meals now and see what she likes!

Article on using PDG to have a baby with a "defect"

I thought this was very interesting...I had never thought of the idea before, of using PDG not only to have "designer" babies but to also use it for making sure you have a baby that has a defective gene like you such as dwarfism or deafness.

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- The power to create "perfect" designer babies looms over the world of prenatal testing.

But what if doctors started doing the opposite?

Creating made-to-order babies with genetic defects would seem to be an ethical minefield, but to some parents with disabilities -- say, deafness or dwarfism -- it just means making babies like them.

And a recent survey of U.S. clinics that offer embryo screening suggests it's already happening.

Three percent, or four clinics surveyed, said they have provided the costly, complicated procedure to help families create children with a disability.

Some doctors have denounced the practice. Others question whether it's true. Blogs are abuzz with the news, with armchair critics saying the phenomenon, if real, is taking the concept of designer babies way too far.

"Old fear: designer babies. New fear: deformer babies," the online magazine Slate wrote, calling it "the deliberate crippling of children."

But the survey also has led to a debate about the definition of "normal" and inspires a glimpse into deaf and dwarf cultures where many people do not consider themselves disabled.

'Playing God'
Cara Reynolds of Collingswood, New Jersey, who considered embryo screening but now plans to adopt a dwarf baby, is outraged by the criticism.

"You cannot tell me that I cannot have a child who's going to look like me," Reynolds said. "It's just unbelievably presumptuous and they're playing God."

Embryo screening, formally called preimplantation genetic diagnosis, or PGD, is done with in vitro fertilization, when eggs and sperm are mixed in a lab dish and then implanted into the womb. In PGD, before implantation, a cell from a days-old embryo is removed to allow doctors to examine it for genetic defects.

The entire procedure can cost more than $15,000 per try.

The survey asked 415 clinics to participate, 190 responded and 137 said they have provided embryo screening. The most common reason was to detect and discard embryos with abnormalities involving a missing or extra chromosome, which can result in miscarriage or severe and usually fatal birth defects.

The survey is being published in an upcoming print edition of the medical journal Fertility and Sterility. It appeared in the online edition in September. Clinics were asked many questions about PGD, including whether they'd provided it to families "seeking to select an embryo for the presence of a disability."

"We asked the question because this is an issue that has been raised primarily by bioethicists as something that could happen," said Susannah Baruch of Johns Hopkins University's Genetics and Public Policy Center.

"It's sparking a lot of conversations," she said. "These are difficult issues for everybody."

While it's technologically possible, whether any deaf or dwarf babies have been born as a result of PGD is uncertain. The survey didn't ask. Participating clinics were promised anonymity, and seven major PGD programs contacted by The Associated Press all said they had never been asked to use the procedure for that purpose.

PGD pioneer Dr. Mark Hughes, who runs a Detroit laboratory that does the screening for many fertility programs nationwide, said he hadn't heard of the technology being used to select an abnormal embryo until the survey.

"It's total nonsense," Hughes said. "It couldn't possibly be 3 percent of the clinics" doing PGD for this purpose "because we work with them all."

He said he wouldn't do the procedure if asked.

"To create a child with a disability because a parent wanted such a thing ... where would you draw the line?" Hughes wondered.

University of Minnesota bioethicist Jeffrey Kahn has a provocative response.

"It's an ethically challenging question and certainly it will trouble people, but I think there are good, thoughtful reasons why people who are deaf or ... dwarves could say, 'I want a child like me,"' Kahn said.

Happy Monday!!

They say money can’t buy happiness…ok whoever said that obviously wasn’t poor. And I know there are unhappy rich people out there, and poor people that are more than happy…but one thing’s for sure, money may not buy happiness, but it sure can help!! I was thinking this morning on the way to work of a show on TV I saw quite a while back…you know that movie Super-Size Me where that guy eats nothing but McDonald’s for like a month and gets all sick and stuff? Well the guy that made that movie used to make shows on TV too, and one was about living on minimum wage. Him and his girlfriend(or wife, whatever) moved into a cruddy tiny apartment and worked 2 jobs a piece for minimum wage and had to make ends meet on that. They used public transportation and ate very little etc. and the show was all about how that affected them and their relationship and how hard it was to make ends meet with so little money even when they didn’t have any kids. The whole process really took a toll on their relationship. They said they normally NEVER fight, and they fought a lot doing this show, because of the lack of money. It’s so sad that money is such a stressor these days. We shouldn’t have to bust our butts just to stay alive, I mean what on earth are we living for if we don’t get to have some fun and enjoyment along the way? I know a lot of couples that have the problem these people did making this show…they would be a really happy couple if they didn’t have money issues to fight over. And I know if the money issues weren’t there, then maybe there would be other issues in some of their cases. But I know in the case of my husband and I, we wouldn’t really have any issues if it weren’t for the lack of money. Our financial situation makes up about 90% of what we bicker about(which honestly we don’t bicker that often, but I would prefer to hardly at all). And the rest of that is stupid stuff like don’t leave your dirty britches in the middle of the dining room floor, or quit throwing your dirty clothes at the end of the bed when the hamper is five feet away, the kitchen counter is not a trashcan, etc. But the money issues just suck. We both dream of having “normal” lives where we don’t have to think too much about money, where we know all the bills will be paid, we know we can go to a movie if we want, where grocery shopping is a normal thing to do. It just doesn’t seem fair to me that people like Paris Hilton run around spending their daddy’s money not having a care in the world and the rest of us have to work so hard just to barely scrape by. I mean she’ll spend more than I make in a year on one shopping trip buying clothes. It just seems like the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. And yea I know the rich supposedly donate to all these charities. But when you make millions doing one movie and you’ve made how many movies over the span of your career, it seems to me like you could donate a lot more than a million dollars to a charity. Seems like they could do a lot more if they weren’t busy buying 200$ T-shirts and 10 million dollar homes. What in the heck do they do with all that extra room?? If I won the lottery, I mean the big one, a LOT of money, no way would I go out buying thousand dollar outfits or fancy expensive cars…I’d shop the same places I always shop, and fill a whole closet full of clothes for like 1000$!! Or way less even. Sigh…I guess I should just keep dreaming, seeing as how I don’t even play the lottery LOL. Anyway, it was just something that popped into my head this morning. We just can’t wait for hubby to be out of school so he can get a full time job!!
Well my mom kept Miss H Friday night. We splurged and grabbed a few burgers and went to a movie. I don’t even remember the last time we did that! We saw Night at the Museum. It was actually pretty darn funny! I snorted at least twice I was laughing so hard. We like Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. Then we checked out the new Walmart that opened up by our house. Just like the other two Walmart’s we have in town LOL…we were out of everything baby, so we stocked up even though we didn’t have the money(come on tax refund!!). Saturday my mom and I drove up North to visit my aunt and uncle at their new place. My cousin and her husband and daughter had driven into town so we got to see them too, which was nice. Their daughter is going to be two in July, so she’s about 9 months older than Miss H and they hadn’t met yet. So that was really cute. They gave each other kisses.
Saturday night we got stuck at my dad’s. My sister, cousin, hubby and I were going to run by the mall and we went outside to cars covered in snow and slick roads…we went anyway, left Miss H with my dad and stepmom, and decided we weren’t getting Miss H out on the roads because there were already a bunch of wrecks. So we slept over there, Miss H did ok but didn’t sleep quite as well as normal, and all her moving around kept me up. We finally got home late afternoon yesterday and boy were we happy to be home. She crashed at 8:45 last night and slept all night! She was definitely worn out.
Today hasn’t started out too great. After my husband left for school this morning before dawn, I started having these really crazy scary dreams. I was so freaked out when I woke up that I tried to get ready but I just couldn’t take it, I was so weirded out…I packed up our stuff and went to my mom’s. I figured a cup of hot tea and talking to her would calm me down, and it did. Then I get to work 30 minutes late and find out that sometime yesterday a ceiling tile fell right on my desk from being so soaked with water leaking from the roof…so I have ceiling crud and water everywhere, a trashcan on my desk catching water, all my papers and procedures manual are all wet and nasty…my allergies will be having a party!! This building is so old and cruddy, even without the leakage we all feel like crap the minute we step in the door, so this is just making it 10 times worse for us. BLAH!!!!! Hopefully they’ll get it fixed soon. In the meantime we have sanitizing spray and antibacterial wipes. Can’t do anything about the air but, oh well. Hopefully the day will get better as it goes on!

9 Month Check-up

Well Miss H had her 9 month check-up today. It went absolutely WONDERFUL!! This was the best dr. appointment I think she's ever had. This was her first appointment with her new dr. She loves him!! She didn't cry at all, which if you know anything about her other appointments you'd know she CRIED...she hated her other dr. She just did NOT care for her at all. Dr. New is so good with her, and he's really laid back, takes his time, and really seems to enjoy kids. He said everything is perfect, and he said "She's worth a million bucks...no she's worth 2 million bucks!" and said how cute she was. He was very impressed with her development too, that she is already standing on her own and talking and feeding herself finger foods etc. And she performed beautifully. She has this little toy pink and purple football with rattles in it(alright I admit it, it's a freakin cat toy, but she loves the thing--she stole it from my mom's cat PingPong who didn't play with it anyway) and he said "you like that ball don't you?" and she tried to give him a bite of it LOL...because in the waiting room I was saying "Miss H can mommy have a bite?" and she'd give me a bite and I'd say thank you, and then she'd take a bite of it and fake chew and then I'd ask her for another bite etc. So she tried to give him a bite of her ball, and when she held it out to him she said "ball!"....I was so proud! I have been working with her on that, and I told him I had and he said "well she's doing a pretty good job at it!" He examined her while she was sitting on my lap, he didn't plaster her to the examination table like her old dr. used to. She was so interested in everything he was doing, he said "she's an observant little thing isn't she!" And no shots this time, yay!!!!!!!!! And no that's not the reason she didn't cry, the shots always come at the end of the appointment and the nurse is the one who administers them. I am so incredibly happy we switched to this dr., the appointment could not have gone any better. Oh and her stats! She now weighs 18 lbs. 11 oz. and she is 28 inches long. He said she's the size of most 1 year olds so she's doing really well. She has grown almost 3 inches in 3 months!! I KNEW she was getting tall!! She looks so much taller and all her pants are getting too short! I don't remember what she weighed at her last appointment(6 months) I'll have to look that up later.
It's date night tonight with hubby, my mom's keeping Miss H overnight. I think we're going to splurge and go see a movie!! It has been SO LONG since we've done anything together! I am craving food too, so I might just say screw it and have us go get some burgers or something also...gotta go all out for date night, I mean we get this like once every 6 months!

This evening

I think part of the problem might be that Miss H might be going through a growth spurt. She had a 6 oz. bottle at 3 am this morning, then at the sitter's today she had three 6 oz. bottles like normal and all her food and also a 4 oz. bottle and then tonight for dinner she had a jar of chicken vegetable dinner and a jar of carrot apple mango and she was stil hungry so I gave her 4 of her Gerber garden vegetable flavored crackers broken up and she ate those, and I was eating some veggie soup my mom had made so I got some of the green beans, peas, lima beans and carrots out of that and cut them up on her tray and she picked them up and ate those too! She hasn't wanted milk with dinner for quite a while now, usually she just takes a couple drinks if that even or drinks maybe 2 oz or so but tonight she wanted a sippy cup with water, so I gave her that with dinner and then at bedtime she ate 6 oz. and honestly I fell asleep so I don't know if she would have drank the other 2 oz. of it or not if we hadn't fallen asleep while she was eating it. I am just so tired. But she still got 28 oz. of formula and all that food today. So I'm thinking I might send an extra container of food for her lunch tomorrow, see if that helps. And I'm going to start getting the veggies that are whole in the jars and cutting those up for her to let her feed herself some at dinner, and hopefully that will help things. She has had huge toots lately though, not stinky at all just loud as can be...I don't know what's causing that, maybe the yogurt the past few mornings...so I'm going to not give her any yogurt tomorrow and see if that helps that issue. I put her in her crib at about 10:15 tonight and she woke up not 20 minutes later crying...she went right back to sleep once I gave her her pacifier so hopefully she stays asleep all night now, GOD PLEASE let her stay asleep all night. I really need some sleep, bad. Tonight after dinner I took a shower and then hubby went to work, then I gave her a bath and that was so funny...she flips over on her belly now and kicks her legs and paddles her arms and splashes everywhere and sticks her face down in the water! She's getting so comfortable in the water I think she's really going to love swimming this summer. And she's doing this thing now where she wrinkles up her nose and sucks in air and blows it out, like she's blowing her nose, it is the funniest thing I have ever seen and I was doing it back to her tonight and she did it back to me and I just cracked up laughing. I have no idea where she got it from but she's been doing it the past few days...it's so funny...kind of convenient too, she got out a lot of snot in the tub LOL! But she's doing it to be silly, her nose isn't clogged or anything. Anyway then after her bath we watched her Curious Buddies movie, and then I made her a bottle and put her to bed...so that was our night, and I think I'm off to bed now, wish me luck on getting some sleep...

Confused

Well last night was another not so good night. It started snowing again—blah!!—and by the time I got home from visiting at my mom’s it was 10:00. I had Miss H in bed by 10:30. I got to bed a little after midnight and I was SO exhausted. Hubby came to bed sometime after 1:00…had to watch Mythbusters at midnight, you know he couldn’t miss that! And at 2:15, Miss H starts crying. I was so out of it because I was so tired, when I got out of bed I thought I was in the living room and I tried to walk down the hallway through the dining room, but I was really in the bedroom tripping over the huge mound of dirty clothes we have piled in our master bath. I kept trying to go back and turn on the floor lamp, which I couldn’t find, because again, I was NOT in the living room…and I kept saying “I need a light!!” and finally I touched my touch lamp beside my bed just by chance, and realized where I was finally…not a good start…so I go in her room, and she’s fussing while holding her pacifier in her hand. I pop in back in her mouth, she goes back to sleep, I go back to bed and 5 seconds later she’s fussing again. I go back down the hall, and this time she does not want her pacifier and she is awake. I got her out of bed, tried to rock her, she kept wanting down onto the floor. So I took her to our bed. Sometimes if she’s not feeling well she sleeps better with us. She didn’t want that either. She fussed and cried. I am normally soooooooo patient with her, but all these nights of no sleep have really gotten to me and I just couldn’t help but snap at her and beg her to go back to sleep. Hubby got up and made her another bottle, I rocked her again, she sucked the bottle down and I laid her in her crib fast asleep, only for her to begin banging around her crib as soon as my head hit my pillow. I got up and she was wide awake again. I went into our bedroom, which made her cry because I left her in her crib, and yelled at hubby to wake his butt up because I was losing it and I had to get up in the morning and he didn’t have school today so he could sleep in. He kept telling me no, no no no I’m too tired go away. I believe I called him an asshole, again because I am so exhausted, and he told me to leave him alone…I proceeded to sissy slap him all over his body(on the covers people, not trying to hurt him, I was just releasing my frustration) and he called me a crazy bitch and got up to go get her. Now, thinking of this makes me laugh hysterically…but in the heat of the moment this just made things worse for me. We do really love each other dearly, but we were exhausted!!!!! So he brings her back to bed and I change her diaper because it was full, and I put some Orajel on her gums because she didn’t want her pacifier so I thought maybe her gums hurt. Well that just pissed her off, royally, so she proceeded to throw a huge fit. I thought ok maybe she has a tummy ache, she had been tooting HUGE big girl toots that would make her Aunt A proud all evening…so I gave her a half dose of Tylenol, hoping it would help with whatever pain she was having. Well she still didn’t want to lay down with us. She started trying to climb over me and dive head first off the bed onto the floor. I kept putting her back between us, and she would just cry and cry. I had done all I could do, nothing helped, so I just let her cry for a minute. Well hubby couldn’t take it, said this was ridiculous, and took her out into the living room. I fell asleep within 15 minutes with the light on. I could hear Miss H in the living room babbling and playing with her toys. I woke up this morning at 7 and found them both passed out on the living room floor, and hubby had no idea what time she finally fell asleep. WHAT HAPPENED????? I have no idea what’s going on. Tuesday night I thought ok the soy formula didn’t agree with her, she woke up with a tummy ache and got so woke up she wanted to play. But then it happens again last night! Did she have another tummy ache and got so woke up again? She did have a new baby food dinner for supper, and it was pretty tomatoey, but she didn’t eat much of it…so maybe that upset her stomach? Or maybe since she didn’t eat much of it she woke up starving?? I am hoping and praying to God that she doesn’t do this again tonight. Normally when she wakes up every now and then at night I don’t give her a bottle. I don’t want her to get used to getting up in the middle of the night again to eat. She hasn’t done that since she was 4 months old. Maybe I need to up her intake of baby food during the day? A bigger lunch maybe? She’s already drinking at least 30 oz. of formula a day. And it’s not like she’s napping too much during the day. She only slept an hour and a half yesterday at the sitters. I’m just kind of at a loss on what to do or what’s wrong. All I do know is that I am so incredibly tired, I’ve been in this fog all day and my whole body aches from lack of sleep. It’s much worse than when I was on maternity leave when she was a newborn, because I work 8+ hrs a day now and then go home and chase Miss H around and do housework all night, get to bed late because I have so much to do to prepare for the next morning, and then if I only get 3 or 4 hrs of sleep a night, by the end of the week I’m a wreck. Emotionally and physically. At least on maternity leave I could nap if she napped. And to make it worse I had my review at work yesterday and it was absolutely horrible, my boss has really gone off her rocker. Everybody’s was bad from what I hear, and the older lady I work with that is only one year away from retirement is now telling me she is so miserable here that she doesn’t even think she can go one more year here! In my review I was basically told to shape up by July or it will mean “taking disciplinary action or termination of employment.” I do my work, and I make very few errors, but nothing is good enough for this dept. Everybody in this dept. is trying to find new jobs, it’s so crazy, we are all very good employees, very knowledgeable in our fields/positions, and it’s just so sad that we’re all being put through this. It’s been going on for years now, ever since this new supervisor took over. She used to be our co-worker, and didn’t really get along with anybody. Bad situation from the get-go. I have been told insane things like when I was pregnant, I was told I could not have morning sickness in the afternoon because morning sickness happens in the morning, and that she should know because she’s been pregnant before!! I called in maybe oh 2 days my whole pregnancy and that was when I was just unable to even make it to work without throwing up in the car. And I was also encouraged to find a different job, WHEN I WAS PREGNANT. I informed them that my friend who used to work here that had left a while back was in the process of looking for another job, and she had her Masters in Accounting and nowhere would hire her once they found out she was pregnant…and I have never even been to college. My brother had a girlfriend he got pregnant years ago, and she looked everywhere for a job, even McDonalds and Taco Bell, and nowhere would hire her either. I went home that day after being encouraged to quit, BAWLING, freaking out, here I am pregnant and have major bills to pay and I’m going to lose my job. Thank God the stress didn’t cause me to miscarry. I was only about 13 wks at the time. Then more recently I was told I cannot do personal things on my lunch hour, like make calls to dr.s offices and such. I was shocked, how in the world can they tell me I cannot do personal things on my own time?!?! And it was brought up on my review how when I get in trouble for things like this I become defensive and argumentative. Ok I’m sorry but when they tell me I can’t do personal things on my lunch hour I’m going to get defensive…I have gotten in trouble before for working on my lunch hour…now they’re telling me not to do personal things on my lunch hour…what am I supposed to do on my lunch hour for goodness sakes??? And this is how everything is. They tell you one thing, then you get in trouble for doing it the way they told you to, so you change, then you get in trouble again….it never ends. I have been told numerous times I don’t get my work done in a timely fashion…ok that’s why I never miss deadlines and get emails from vendors/other employees about what a wonderful job I do and how on the ball I am etc. ??????????? And I also didn’t get a raise this year. Because I’m such a horrible employee in their eyes. And our insurance rates skyrocketed, and I already can’t afford the bills I have so I was really hoping my raise would at least cover the insurance premium increase. So needless to say I’m just really stressed about all this, and I have no way of fixing any of it right now. I can only wait it out the next year and a half until hubby graduates and gets a job so I can quit and stay home and do home daycare. He’s supposed to get an internship (with pay, woohoo!) this summer to get the experience he needs with the dept. to get a job after he graduates. I just don’t know what to do in the meantime, I cannot let them fire me, but I have tried everything I can to make them happy with me and they just aren’t happy with any of us. And we are all very different, come from different backgrounds etc. so it’s obviously not the employees it’s the management. And I haven’t heard back from the place I interviewed at last week, so I don’t know what to think about that. I’m afraid I didn’t get it for some reason. I’m being told to call them tomorrow to check on the status of the position, but I just took the Excel test Monday, shouldn’t I give them a week? I don’t know, I’m knew to the whole hiring process.

I really wish I had more readers so I could get some advice, I mean it makes me feel better to get all this out but some advice would be reeeeeeealy nice right about now, about any of this.

B E A Utiful

I have a headache..........and it won't go away. Nothing is helping. I think it's turning into a migraine...it hurts all over and I feel sick to my stomach and my head feels hot. I begged hubby not to go to work, but he did of course, which is good because we need the money, but damn my head hurts and I have nobody here to baby me :o( Miss H went to bed great tonight, I think her diarea might finally be clearing up thank God. She only pooped 3 times today, 3 big times, and this last time wasn't as runny. I did call the dr. today and they said to switch her to soy formula to see if that would help. Don't know why it would, but oh well. They also told me to put her on Similac Isomil DF which is a formula for babies over 6 months old, and it's especially for diarea...but I can't find the frickin stuff anywhere. Well I shouldn't say anywhere...but they don't have it at Walgreen's or Walmart and I don't know where else in my town would have it if those places don't. So I just bought her some Enfamil Prosobee. And like everyone has warned me, the stuff stinks. It's made from different oils, soy oil, coconut oil, very weird texture and it does smell, well, oily. Seems so much less healthy to me than formula made from milk. So I'm doing half and half bottles, half regular and half soy formula, and she's eating it fine. So we'll see if it does any good. And I'm still giving her her yogurt for breakfast, so hopefully that's helping too. We did have to stop using her Luv's diapers though, gave her a nasty case of diaper rash, I mean it was horrible the poor thing. We soaked her poor bum in the bath last night forever, which she LOVED, and started using White Cloud diapers which are nice and big and stretchy and unscented and die free and we're using good ol' Beaudreaux's and it's clearing up nicely now.
Alright gonna go rest my poor eyes and hope this headache decides to go away soon...

Snotty people

At work I'm in the process right now of calling vendors that we haven't received a W-9 form back from, even after sending them a second request. Most of the people have been so nice, but this one lady who just happens to be the AP person for both St. Louis Envelope Co. and SL Graphix, has been so snotty to me both times I called...she acts like it's such a huge inconvenience that I'm calling her, and that she has to fax me the form. I had already called her about St. Louis Envelope Co...she said she'd fax me the form and then she hung up on me. Then I called SL Graphix. Little did I know it was the same building...she said "you just called me!!!!!!"...I asked if this was SL Graphix, and she said "oh you need one for them to?!?!" and I told her I'm sorry I didn't know it was the same company(completely different phone numbers and vendor names, how in the hell should I know?!?) and she proceeded to tell me it is NOT the same company, both companies are just under one roof. I wanted to ask how in the hell she got the job of AP clerk for BOTH companies when she is so darn stinkin rude, but of course I didn't, I was very nice and polite. So she faxed me the forms and that's that, but jeez why are people so rude these days? Another company I called cut me off right in the middle of me saying I'm so and so from such and such company calling about a W-9 form we sent back in December...she cut me off right in the middle and said "hold please" and that was it. Have these people had NO customer service training whatsoever? And how on earth did they get their "operator" jobs with such a bad attitude? This reminds me of the receptionist at Miss H's dr. office. She will NEVER crack a smile, she is so rude it's rediculous...to everybody that comes up to that window. I was absolutely shocked when I saw her at Walmart one time with a husband and 2 of the cutest little kids...how on earth she ever charmed a man into marrying her and how on earth her kids were so darn cute and well-mannered is beyond me. She recognized me, I know she did, because she knows me from my sister in law who used to work in that office....as we passed I smiled and said "hi!" and of course, in her usual lovely manner, she frowned at me and looked the other direction. That has to be a horrible existence, being so snobby and un-friendly like that all the time. But then again, maybe she was raised differently. I know when we lived in KS for a while people looked at us like we were nutty if we spoke to them when we didn't know them. Here in MO, at least in the smaller towns, you talk to anybody, the lady in line behind you at the grocery store, or the guy in front of you with a kid asks how old your baby is...just last night a lady had me hold the door for her at Walmart because she had a cart and it wasn't an automatic door and I had my hands free...she just said she was going to take advantage of me having to open the door, and I told her no problem at all and she was just so nice and polite. This is what I'm used to. Oh another instance...my mom and daughter and I were in Dillards a few months back looking for some tennis shoes for Miss H(she has the fattest feet and they do not make infant shoes to fit fat feet??) and we had just bought a pair of little white Keds(which we took back because they fell off her fat feet btw) and an older couple stopped me and the guy said "I just have to stop you so I can admire the little one, she's so adorable, how old is she?" I told them how old she was, and showed them the new shoes we just bought her, and they said thanks for letting them admire her etc. etc. and we walked away and my mom asked "who was that?" and I told her I have absolutely no idea. She said "from the way they came up to you I thought you knew them" and I told her "nope, they were just friendly old folks." Why can't all people be that friendly?? The world would be a much nicer place...

The quilted, quicker picker upper...

When we were sick a couple weekends ago we sent the in-laws to the store to get us some supplies we were out of, and some sicky things like Sierra Mist and Sprite, Gatorade, Jell-O, you know all the crap you eat when you’re on a liquid diet…well we also had them get us some cheese because we were out, and popsicles, and paper towels. I am in heaven right now. They bought us Bounty paper towels! You know the kind that come in the smaller sections so you can choose how big of a paper towel you want? They got us 2 rolls. This may seem incredibly silly to a lot of people. But we don’t have money right now, since hubby went back to school to finish his degree. So we buy cheap, if we are able to buy anything. I buy the cheapest paper towels I can get. I even get out my cell and use the calculator to calculate the cost per roll on multi-packs to make sure I'm getting the best possible deal. One’s 54 cents a roll, one’s 53, I buy the one for 53…I’m anal about this I’m telling you. I am a HUGE bargain shopper, I love bargains…I buy generic brands of a LOT of things, and you know a lot of the time the generic brands are just as good, and in some cases even better than the regular! Say green beans for instance. I LOVE Aldi’s green beans… but Green Giant? Not so much. But this is not the case for paper towels. Or TP for that matter. Cheaper is NOT better, it’s definitely, well, cheap…thin, falls apart easily, not soft feeling at all. So I am in heaven with my Bounty paper towels. I could care less that I can choose my own size, but the whole softness/thickness/reusableness is making me very happy right now. I’m rationing them, and I have one roll left…I’m going to be sad when we run out and it’s back to the cheapo kind again. I told my mom that when hubby gets a job that is one thing I will splurge on, good thick soft paper towels. Sigh…one of these days…

So much ice

It's still icing and crap outside here. Everything is covered in like 2 or 3 inches of this layer of ice. It's so weird, it looks like snow, but when you walk on it you don't sink in at ALL, it's frozen solid. And it's really slick. My boss's boss called me today to tell me the office is still open tomorrow but if we can't make it in that's ok, we won't get paid for it but they won't be pissed or anything. But I don't want to call in the morning and say I'm not coming in and then have the rest of my dept. show up...especially since some of them live way out of town. But we're supposed to get another inch of sleet and ice overnight...it's been raining all day and the temp. is supposed to drop, so it's going to freeze over night. BLAH.....so ready for spring!

Miss H STILL has diarea...I don't know how to get rid of it!!!!!! It's been like a week now since we were all sick, and we're all back to normal, and she's completely better other than this diarea. She leaks everytime she poops, I've been doing laundry like crazy. I feel so bad for her...she doesn't seem to mind it at all, but I mean it's gotta suck to be having diarea all day. Speaking of, I just hurt a large burst in her pants...ugh...I just changed her twice about 2o minutes ago! I have been giving her rice cereal, everything that's supposed to constipate her and it's just not working. I got her some YoBaby yogurt last night and fed her a container of it this morning, so hopefully all that good bacteria will start going to work and make her all better.

The in-laws came over today, we invited them over for lunch. I made barbecue sloppy joes and fries...I'm not one to invite people over and cook for them, we just don't do that, and you know what?? It was so nice! We ate and visited and I showed them Miss H's newly arranged room and the oh-so-clean carpets etc. I am just so incredibly happy with how close we've gotten to them lately because after Miss H's birth it got really bad, and after the wedding it wasn't much better. I finally feel close to them, it's really nice. I've always wanted this big family that gets together all the time and just loves being around each other, like I had when I was a little girl, and I really really hoped I'd marry into a family like that too. HOPEFULLY, keep my fingers crossed...things will continue like this, and it'll be an absolutely wonderful summer. I cannot WAIT to go swimsuit shopping for Miss H! It's so hard to believe she'll be walking by then!! She is 9 months old today...God time has gone by so fast. She's less and less a little baby everyday, and more a kid. Today she threw her bottle on the floor to watch the milk spew everywhere, and she announced to the in-laws "uh-oh!" They thought it was the cutest thing ever. They didn't know she was saying that already. She's just too cute for words!

Speaking of Miss H, gotta go change that poopy diaper, hubby can't handle it himself LOL

Another one...

Ok so today wasn't all that bad either. Miss H woke up at 8:40, almost an hour after she normally wakes up, after having slept all night in her own room without waking up once! And she was in a GREAT mood when she got up...when I walked in she was standing up smiling, and she sat down and showed me all the little furry lambs on her bumper pad with a huge smile on her face. So that turned out really great. Then we got out a box of invites that were for our wedding and it had a bunch of cards in it that we recv'd as gifts...Miss H takes one card at a time and stacks it over into a new pile she's making(she's been such a little helper lately)...and the next thing I know I look over and she has a Target giftcard in her hand, a brand new shiny one. So I get on the internet and check the value...10$...not too bad, I mean we didn't even know we had it! I have no idea where she found it either, I had never seen it before. There's no name on it either so I have no idea who it came from. Then she helped me put all the cards back in the box.
Well we got the carpets shampood today...finally!! And it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER let me tell you. To finally have this place somewhat clean after last weekend. So tomorrow I am going to concentrate on the laundry, getting all that washed and getting the clean stuff organized and put away. But I'm feeling really good about the progress we've made so far.
So it's still freezing rain and crap outside, and I'm really sick of it. I'm so ready for spring and all the green and I'm ready to take Miss H on walks again. She always LOVED the walks we took, and she's even more alert now since she's 9 months old, so I know she'll like them even more now. I'm really excited for the upcoming summer!!
Well she's still awake, her schedule's kind of off because of the cleaning we did today...believe it or not she fell asleep while I was shampooing the living room, not a foot away from where she was laying on my husband's lap on the couch. You never know what she'll sleep through. So I better go start trying to get her to wind down for the night.

What a good day!!!

Well they closed the office at 3 today, we're having sleet and ice...I had to drive 25 mph all the way home when the speed limit was 45 and 55 on these roads...I was sliding all over the place. It took forever. But I have to say I have just had the best day. It started off so crappy with my lost keys and getting to work late...but then the interview went great, and I was supposed to work til 6:15 to make up my time from today and the office closed at 3 and paid me for 8 hrs!! Thank God, I really didn't want to work that late.

Ok now for the interview...I think it went really well! I'm not getting my hopes up, but I really do want this job. The company sounds so exciting, construction is a LOT more interesting than insurance! And they didn't ask me a whole lot of questions, they basically asked me a few general questions like how we do our account codes and that sort of thing, and then talked the rest of the time about how they do things and about the company. First I met with the two women that would be my coworkers and then I met with the controller. They were all so nice and friendly, they even chatted with me about a rival ins. company getting sued for a Katrina claim and about the huge rising costs of medical ins. these days. Then the HR recruiter talked to me again, and we went over their benefits. Their health insurance is 100$ more a paycheck than I pay now, and that's getting paid every two weeks! That really sucks. But she made the statement "when we interview you, I mean IF we interview you to offer you a job, then we'll go over the salary and you can decide if it's enough to make up for the increase in insurance." I told my friend that works there what she said and she said oh if she said that it sounds like they've already made their decision...but again I'm not getting my hopes up, I mean she could have just slipped and said when instead of if. Another plus is this job is salaried, and I'm hourly now, and I know for a fact it would be an increase in pay from that statement she made. And what's even better is it's salaried non-exempt, so I'd still get paid OT pay for any time I work over 40 hrs! But it just sounds so interesting, and the ladies were so nice, and the controller told me that when my friend started there she really worked on her to stop coming in and keeping her head down and not talking to anybody...she said they really encourage everybody to talk to each other and get to know their co-workers on a friendly level, that they don't want people coming in and working and leaving and that's it. I told her that is so refreshing to hear because where I work now that is what is expected of you, for you to come in, do your work, don't talk to anybody, and that's it. Also the controller told me that they had hired a girl for this job and that she lasted 3 days. They said she came in late every day, checked her personal email first thing and like five times throughout the day and didn't do hardly any work. She said she had worked at the university before this job, and that they don't like to hire people from the university or state jobs because they are all like that in their experience. Not that hard of workers etc. And I'm thinking ok if they hired this girl, SURELY they could hire me! The only thing I don't have is a degree, which they prefer, but they also said they would take experience instead of a degree...I've got five years experience in Accounts Payable, surely that's enough. I'm going in Monday at noon for an Excel test. So I'm going to brush up on those skills this weekend. This office was so nice too, definately more the kind of office building I've dreamed of working in...not huge, but it's all brand new and fancy and they even have a small gym and a full kitchen with a stove and everything! So let's hope this works out, I really really really hope it does. Also, another bit of good news. We just found out that my husband can get get an internship with the Department of Conservation this summer, and get PAID for it!!!!! How awesome is that?!?! We were so worried about this, we've talked a lot about it actually...he won't be able to get a job after he graduates without any experience, but we can't afford for him to do an internship because you don't get paid for that so how is he supposed to get experience? Plus he doesn't have time to do an internship during the school year since he's on the golf team. We had no idea that he can get an internship at the very dept. he wants to get a job after he graduates, right here in town, for the summer instead of through the school year, and get paid like 10$ an hour to do it! He's going to call them Monday and found out what he needs to do to get a summer spot. So hopefully that works out too.

We're moving Miss H's crib into her own bedroom tonight hopefully...so I really hope that goes well. I'm giving us a whole weekend to get used to it. Hopefully she'll do just fine...after all I do rock her to sleep in her own room now, her crib is just in our bedroom. And she's in there for hours without us before we go to bed, so being alone shouldn't scare her. I just hope I can get some sleep...I hate the fact that I won't be able to just look up and see her in her crib...I guess I should move the monitor too. I wish I had one of those video monitors. I will definately have one of those for our next baby.

It's FREEZING here! Gotta go wake Miss H up from her nap...

Home Depot

Evidently Home Depot is verrrrrrrry interesting to a 9 month old. It is so funny, as soon as I got Miss H out of the car she was pointing and pointing at the building and saying “uh, ah!” as if to say “Mommy please oh please oh pleeeeeeeeease can we go in there???” And once inside she was happy as pie. She LOVED the yellow Dyson vacuum cleaner. She wanted it. I told her some day I hope she can afford a Dyson, but that we sure can’t. It’s such a bummer, my aunt has a mini version, you know those little kid vacuums that look like the real thing just smaller…well she has a mini version of this exact vacuum Miss H fell in love with last night. But I know she would never get rid of it. The kids she watches like it too much, and they don’t sell them in stores, it’s a promotional item only. She bought it off Ebay. Miss H has a toy Hoover. Evidently she has expensive taste, because she does not like her Hoover. Maybe because it’s not a pretty yellow…who knows. Then we wandered off to find lights, and we came upon the fan department. She LOVES fans. She was in Heaven. But the poor thing didn’t understand why they wouldn’t come on. She pointed and pointed, “mommy, on!!” and I had to keep telling her mommy didn’t know how to make them come on. Eventually we wandered over to the closet organization section, and my husband took the cart and started twirling her around and around in it, and she gave him a very stern look and yelled at him “aah!”…”Daddy STOP that right this instant!!”…yep she’s my daughter all right. Then later on, as she’s clinging to the white closet pole for deal life as if it’s her own little job to keep it securely in the cart, she gives my husband attitude again when he touches the pole…if looks could kill…that’s all I can say. And she’s only 9 months old. Who knew Home Depot could be so entertaining to a 9 month old…

Well we got the SpotBot, but I have yet to use it…I was SO busy last night dealing with a crabby husband, too much housework, and getting ready for the interview today. I’ll let you all know how it worked once I’ve had a chance to use it. We also bought a light at Home Depot for the living room…there isn’t any recessed lighting in the living room for some reason, so we rely on lamps. We have one floor lamp right now and it’s just not bright enough to light the whole room. There’s a hook on the ceiling right over where the floor lamp is. So I had the bright idea to buy one of those lamps that hang from a chain that you hang on the hook…we had one when I was a kid. And then we’d put the floor lamp across the room. So we find the perfect light, it even matches the floor lamp which is amazing…and it’s only 25$! So we buy it, and later that evening I think ok I’ll get it out and put it up so I have some more light. Obviously I have no experience in home decorating, because the light had no plug. At first I thought they jipped me…no WONDER the last person returned it, they forgot to put the plug on the end of the cord, jeez!!! But then I read the directions, and felt pretty stupid…you have to install this light into the wires in the ceiling and use a light switch to turn it on and off. I don’t know why I just assumed it would have a plug. Man I feel dumb… so we’ll be taking that back, and I have no idea where I’m going to find a lamp with a chain and plug like we need?? I might as well just get another floor lamp I guess.

I am so tired of the house being so unorganized. The only things that are organized are the baby things. Everything else is chaos. And it stresses me out so bad. This morning I spent 20 minutes looking for my keys. So I was late to work, which means I’ll have to work even later tonight to make up all my time for today. If we had a thing up by the door for our keys that wouldn’t have happened! But my husband won’t let me put anything up because “haven’t you seen that show ‘To Catch a Thief’(or whatever it's called) where they say it’s a huge safety hazard to put your keys in a spot like that???” Ok yea I get that, but it’s also a huge safety hazard when I’m driving 70 down the outer road after I drop Miss H off at daycare, trying to get to work because I’ve been looking for my keys for 20 minutes because we don’t have a “key spot” next to the door…

We're getting a SpotBot

So we're leaving in a while to go to Home Depot, we're getting a Spot Bot...does anybody have one of these??? It seems amazing to me that you can just set the thing on the spot and walk off and it does all the cleaning for you. Sorry but that's well worth my 129$. Our lovely cat pukes on the carpet quite regularly, sometimes in multiple locations in multiple rooms multiple times per day...nice huh...and I am sick of spending all this extra time and energy cleaning up her puke spots. Plus, Miss H is bound to get more messy in the months to come, so I really feel like this piece of machinery will be a hugely valuable addition to the family.

I'm getting really nervous about the interview tomorrow...I hate the thought of trying to sell myself. I know I can do this job, if they'll just give me the chance. I'm not great with words, so what if I say something stupid and they're like man this lady's a moron we're not hiring her...and I'm really not, I just have trouble organizing my thoughts into words! It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't REALLY REALLY want this job. And I'm trying to figure out what to do about the whole "jeans day" situation. Tomorrow is jeans day at the office because it's payday, and I need to dress up nice for this interview, but I don't have time to go home and change first...and I'm not wearing my nice outfit to work on jeans day, yea like that wouldn't shout INTERVIEW, INTERVIEW! I guess I'll just wear the shirt with my jeans and change in my car...

As for Miss H, she slept all night last night, and refused to nap again today. She's napping now, but I'm not letting her sleep for long...I'm hoping to get her in bed at a decent time again tonight so I can get things organized and get to bed at a decent time, since I have to get up early tomorrow to do stupid stuff like put on make up and take a shower for this interview LOL...plus I need to get to work early to make up time.

Alright, Spot Bot shopping time...

Hallelujah

The clouds parted, the sun shone down upon the land, and the angels sang joyously....I got Miss H in bed by 9:15 this evening. And she hasn't made a peep since. Why? Because she only got about 8 hours of sleep last night and refused to nap at ALL today. She was in a great mood all day and evening too.
Miss H has a new word..."uh oh"...she'll throw something on the floor and say "uh oh." It's so cute. Today the sitter told me that she dropped something and said "uh oh" and Miss H said "uh oh"...so she said it back to her, and Miss H said it again. She said it 5 times in a row. So that brings her word total up to 3 now, officially. Mama, dada, and uh oh. She has repeated words before, but not on a regular basis. She has said ball, tree and hi among other things, but we're not counting them until she says them regularly.
I'm going to take this opportunity to go spend a few minutes with my husband for once before I go to bed, night everybody(or nobody, I don't know if anybody is even reading this) :o)

Paranoid

I keep having these dreams that I leave Miss H somewhere, usually in the car…in the dreams I’ll go to work and forget to take her to the sitters first and leave her in the car all day in the middle of winter. Just recently I had a very vivid dream where I was really tired after work one day, and I picked her up and thought we’d go by Toys R Us and take a look around. I got out of the car, went in, found a bib to buy and a few toys, then realized wait I don’t have a cart to put these in…and that I’m not pushing my baby in a cart, and OH MY GOD I LEFT HER IN THE CAR…so I threw down the stuff, ran out to the parking lot where a group of people were gathered around my car trying to break the windows to get her out, including my husband—don’t ask me how he found out about the whole situation. I burst into tears and grabbed her out of the car and begged the people not to call the cops, that I was just tired and they would take her away from me, and then the dream ended. I guess I’m just having these dreams because this is one of the things I’m so paranoid about?? It’s really disturbing though. Sometimes I’ll have the same kind of dream but in the dream I’m in the mall, and when I run out to the parking lot I can’t find my car anywhere, and I look and look til the mall closes and all the cars leave and my car is nowhere to be found, and Miss H is gone. Gosh these dreams feel so real sometimes I almost really feel like I’ve forgotten her before!! :o( Am I the only one that’s paranoid about this??

Goodness gracious...

Well we're all better, except now Miss H has a little bit of a cold or some sort of drainage...if it's not one thing it's the other, it's nuts. She's fighting sleep really bad the past few nights...we can tell she's SO incredibly tired but she just won't go to sleep. And then when she finally does she wakes herself up coughing. Last night yet again I slept on the cat's spot in the bed, I had all of maybe 8 inches on the very edge, while my dear daughter slept in my spot all lounged out on MY comfy pillow, and hubby snored away like nothing was happening...she woke up every 10 minutes or so coughing, so I got no sleep. I'm still recovering from being so God awful sick, and I got maybe 3 hrs of sleep last night TOPS, then I had to work all day today, didn't get off til 5:20, got home about 6, played with the squirt, did laundry, and is it WAY TOO MUCH TO ASK that I get 5 freaking minutes to myself in a 24 hr. period??? I love Miss H to death, but oh my goodness I so had myself fooled...I know maybe it sounds stupid, but I never dreamed having a kid was this hard. She's so stinking demanding, which I mean look who her mom is of course she's demanding and bossy and hot-tempered. But I wasn't that way as a baby or little girl for God sakes! I was this sweet shy innocent little thing. Where is my sweet shy innocent little baby??? I literally never get a minute to myself, I usually have to write posts on breaks at work and save them to post later. I MISS ME TIME. I love playing with her, giving her baths, all that stuff, and I do miss her since I'm at work all day, but I still do look forward to putting her to bed at night...she doesn't go to bed til 9:30 or so, so it's not like she's going to bed early...but then after she goes to bed I still have to do what little laundry I can, dishes, get her diaper bag packed for the next day, pick up her toys........and maybe get just enough time to do a posting, maybe 15 minutes a day if that. It's a good day if I get to take a shower anymore! But she's so worth it. She's the light of my life, as much bitching as I do she really is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was always so worried I wouldn't be able to have kids, because that's the one thing in life I wanted the most. But I am able to, and I did, and I am so thankful for every second with her. She's so smart, way too smart for a 9 month old. I can't even begin to gush about the stuff she knows how to do. She amazes me every single day. It's just taking time to learn how to juggle everything and still have time to take care of myself too...I'm last on my list of things to take care of.

Tonight my wonderful husband got her to sleep...thank the Lord. She was fighting me so bad, I got really frustrated, we laid on the living room floor in the dark, then we played with light up toys in the dark--that was actually a fun experience!!--she played with daddy, she fussed at mommy some more, she fought sleep, she got SO TIRED she couldn't even lift her head off the floor so she just rolled all the way across the floor...which is something she hasn't done since she was 5 months old, since she is on her way to walking now. So she wallered in bed with daddy, threw some fits, laughed some, and finally gave in and fell asleep. So I'm off to bed now, and with my luck she'll wake up about 10 minutes after I fall asleep...but I really hope not, because I know she needs a good nights sleep...and mommy does too.

PS...the phone interview went well today, don't know if I posted that I had that or not...I have a real interview for the position on Friday. Nerve wracking, but exciting!! I'm new to the interview process, since I've been at the company I'm at now since my Junior year of highschool.

Night everybody...

sooooooooo sick

We're all sick...Miss H is acting ok other than the occassional vomiting and diarea but hubby and I started throwing up non stop last night and ended up in emergency room early this morning, were there for hours, gave us IV fluids we were so dehydrated and gave me pain meds and anti-nausea meds which did not help a single bit...have been trying to sleep off and on today, not very easy, so sore and still feeling sick. Put on a clear liquid diet and can eat Jello, mil here watching Miss H. Can't go to work tomorrow, called my boss today and she's pissed. Such a bitch. Don't know when I'll be able to go back to work, but if I'm out this week I know she'll fire me. And my house is covered in nastiness...we need to sanitize EVERYTHING, need to clean the bed as my hubby had diarea and couldn't get out of bed fast enough...I know ewwwww gross....there's crap on my living room floor, Miss H's diaper leaked yesterday and I felt too bad to clean it up well so there's towels on the living room floor and the whole house needs to be shampood because there's vomit on her bedroom floor also and in the hallway...soooooooooooooooooo gross and I still feel and smell like shit and have gotten pretty much no sleep in the past 48 hrs.

Article on Infant Car Seat Crash Testing

Consumer Reports: Most Infant Car Seats Fail Test

(AP) YONKERS, N.Y. Most of the infant car seats tested by Consumer Reports "failed disastrously" in crashes at speeds as low as 35 mph, the magazine reported Thursday.

The seats came off their bases or twisted in place, the report said. In one case, a test dummy was hurled 30 feet.

Of the 12 car seats tested, Consumer Reports said it could recommend only two, and it urged a federal recall of the poorest performing seat, the Evenflo Discovery.

Evenflo issued a statement disputing the tests' validity, saying, "The magazine's test conditions and protocols appear to conflict with the collective experience of car seat manufacturers, NHTSA (the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) and the scientific community."

To be sold in the United States, an infant seat must perform adequately in a 30 mph frontal crash, and Consumer Reports found that all but the Discovery did so. But it noted that NHTSA crash tests most cars at higher speeds -- 35 mph for frontal crashes and 38 mph for side crashes -- so the magazine tested the seats at those speeds.

"It's unconscionable that infant seats, which are designed to protect the most vulnerable children, aren't routinely tested the same as new cars," said Consumer Reports' Don Mays, a product safety director.

NHTSA Administrator Nicole Nason issued a statement saying: "We are always interested in making car seats better and safer but not more complicated and difficult for parents. ... We don't want consumers misled into thinking holding a child is better than putting it into a car seat."

Nine seats failed some or all of the higher-speed tests, Consumer Reports said, while meeting the federal 30 mph standard. Another seat was judged unacceptable because it did not fit well in several cars, the magazine said.

Messages seeking comment were left with the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association, a trade group.

The magazine tested the type of seat that faces the rear and snaps in and out of a base. It used test dummies weighing 22 or 30 pounds, depending on the seat manufacturers' claims.

In the 35 mph test, seats separated from their bases, rotated too far or would have inflicted grave injuries, Consumer Reports said. At 38 mph, four seats flew out of their bases, it said.

The only seats that passed all the tests were the Baby Trend Flex-Loc and the Graco SnugRide with EPS -- expanded polystyrene foam -- both selling for about $90. Consumer Reports urged parents shopping for seats to buy one of those two, but it also noted that "any child car seat is better than no seat at all."

It also said some seats performed better when attached by vehicle safety belts than when attached with the LATCH system. The system, which stands for Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children, includes belts that hook the base of a car seat to metal anchors in the vehicle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glad we had the Snugride for Miss H when she was in an infant seat! I am surprised at this information...I guess I assumed they would test car seats like this before they put them on the market. I wish they would test convertable seats now, both front and rear facing, as that is what my daughter is in now! After this article I'm worried!!

TGIF...tomorrow

I am so incredibly glad tomorrow is Friday...and that I don't have to work OT this weekend like I was supposed to. I think I have my resume and cover letter done and ready to send to the company I'm applying at. I'm nervous though, I'm so paranoid there'll be a mistake on one of them even though I've looked them over quite a few times. They say that is one of the worst possible mistakes you can make when it comes to job hunting is to send out resumes or cover letters with spelling/grammer errors. I really should go ahead and send it tonight, but for some reason I'm paranoid and want to wait til tomorrow?? Or maybe never??? Sigh....I have to learn to embrace change.

I actually got my daughter in bed by 9 tonight, and here it is almost 11:30 and I'm still up...it took that long to get the resume and cover letter done...I haven't even begun to prepare things for tomorrow...as I said before, thank God it's Friday.

Came across a place in the middle of nowhere with a big black horse and a cherry tree...

That song has been running through my head all stinking day!!!
So today is going ok. I'm avoiding any bitchings by the wicked witch of the west. The day's half over. My friend, the one I mentioned in the last post, messaged me this morning and said they haven't had any decent applicants for that position so far, and that I should go ahead and send in my resume soon. So that's exciting. I'm not getting my hopes up, but hey it's better news than it could be. If they do offer me the job I'm hoping they'll wait til mid February for me to start, so I can get profit sharing at my current job and then give my notice. I've been told that if I give my notice even a few days before profit sharing may be given out, that they will either tell me to go ahead and go or they'll wait til after I'm gone to give out profit sharing. Which is bullshit, because I worked here all last year just like everybody else, I put in my time, and I deserve that money for the work I did last year! So if they want me sooner than that, God I would be so stupid to tell them sorry that won't work, just so I can get profit sharing...pass up a great opportunity to have a new job and be HAPPY, just for a couple thousand $??? That's a dilemma...it wouldn't be if I didn't have to worry about money, but we are SO strapped for cash it's rediculous. I was counting on that money. Anyway, I'm going to get started on my resume tonight and hopefully get that sent really soon.

So my husband snored all night last night...WOW exciting I know. But I just have to bitch about this. He can't breathe through his nose hardly at ALL, so when he sleeps he breathes REALLY LOUD through his mouth, and it wakes me up and keeps me up and damnit I am TIRED. And last night it was so loud it woke our daughter up(her crib is in our bedroom)...so here we are, my husband sleeping like a log(except for me poking him every 2 minutes to make him quit snoring) and my daughter and I laying awake exhausted in our beds listening to him. He got so pissed after I poked him so many times, I believe he muttered that if I did it one more time he would punch me. Which of course he never would, so this made me laugh, and 30 seconds later I poked him for snoring too loudly again. He refused to go sleep on the couch. I didn't want to leave our daughter in there to suffer alone, and I didn't want to get her out of her crib and wake her up even more, so I laid there and suffered with her. And when I brought up the subject to my husband this morning and suggested we move her crib into her own bedroom and put a twin bed in there for me to crawl into on the nights he gets particularly bad(like last night) he said absolutely not. He thinks it would be horrible for us to sleep in separate beds on occassion, even though I am so dead tired that I almost can't bear it anymore. I drink caffiene all day to stay awake, which is bad for my heart issues that I have, and then I do housework and take care of my daughter all night while he's at work...then he gets home at 10 and sexually harrasses me until I either give in or go to bed, and then I can't even sleep because he is out like a light snoring heavily in my face. But I'm seriously thinking about just doing it anyway...which brings up another dilemma...

moving my daughter to her own bedroom. I have to be honest, she's not in there for her sake, she's in there for mine. For one, I cannot sleep unless I am in the same room with her. I know that I would eventually get over this and get used to it(God let's hope anyway) but it would take some time. We used to have her crib in her own room at the old apartment, and when she switched to her crib from her bassinet I tried it a couple nights, and both nights I stayed wide awake, laying there in bed holding the baby monitor with volume on high to my ear. "Oh God, she's not breathing, she quit breathing...or maybe she didn't quit breathing, maybe somebody snuck in and STOLE HER!! She's gone, I know she's gone, oh God somebody stole my baby!!"......nevermind the fact that we were in a second story apartment, and surely if I can hear something so quiet as my baby breathing over the monitor I would have heard somebody breaking in and stealing her...I'm not crazy, just WAY OVERLY paranoid. I get it from my dad. So anyway, then she got sick and had to go into the hospital, and she slept just fine in the little hospital crib, and I slept just fine in the hospital bed, and when we got home two days later I ordered my husband to move the crib to our bedroom, and we've both slept great ever since...well except for the damn snoring. I'm sure she'd be fine in her own bedroom, and honestly I am scared that if we don't switch her now while she doesn't know the difference she will be stuck in our room forever, and I can't have that because when the next baby comes it will need to be in our room for a while. The second problem with moving her into her own room is also a problem with me...when she does cry on occassion at night, I can just sit up and see what's wrong without even having to get out of bed...and if I need to get up and find her pacifier for her and pop it in her mouth, it takes all of 10 seconds and then I can walk over and plop right back into bed. I'm going to have to walk all the way to the other room down the hall if I move her into her own bedroom...and then I know once I get to her room she'll stop crying and I will have gotten up and walked all that way for nothing...but then if I don't get up she'll cry and cry and wake herself up to where she can't go back to sleep. ???? And skipping back to the twin bed in her room thing for a minute...I don't want to get so used to sleeping in there that I don't ever sleep in my own bed with my husband anymore either. The only reason for this 2nd bed would be so I could get some sleep...and also that kind of defeats the purpose of moving her crib into her own room so she'll get used to sleeping by herself...sigh...I guess I should just move her and at least let her get some sleep. Definately something to do over a weekend though because I have a feeling when she wakes up in a weird room she's going to freak for a few nights.

My cat stole my daughter's chicken nugget sometime in the middle of the night last night. It was my toy as a little girl, and I've now passed it on to my daughter. It stays in the fridge of her little toy kitchen in the dining room. It's just the nugget, and he has little eyes...we lost the box long ago. And this morning he was laying next to the front door, just staring up at the ceiling...my cat's been nutty lately. I thought I heard her banging something around last night. But why the nugget I wonder?? She's so weird.

Another chance

Ok so I found a job listing today in the paper for the same position that I am in now at a different company that thank GAWD doesn't have anything to do with insurance. I am VERY interested in this job, and what makes it even better is that a friend works for this company in the same dept. I'm going to apply for. She said she would find out who the resumes go to and mention me to them. It would be so nice to have a friendly face if I moved to a new company, that way maybe I wouldn't feel quite so awkward and scared out of my mind. The downfall is, now I have to hurry up and put together my resume, which I have never done in my life. I've never had to so far. And I can't even begin to think how to write a cover letter...what in the world do you say??? I think they made us practice in highschool, but that was SO LONG ago and I'm sorry my memory's not that great when it comes to info I don't think I'll ever use. I never planned on being a career woman, I planned on just getting by until my husband got a decent job and I could quit work and stay home with the kiddos and babysit. Which I still plan on doing one of these days, hopefully. Anyway so I'm not getting my hopes up about this job, but at the same time I am, and it's exciting and I'm anxious to hurry up and apply...sooooooooo I'll post updates on how it's going.

In other news...IS ANYBODY GOING TO EVER READ THIS????????? I'm not sure how to tell if anybody's reading this except by comments, which I have not gotten any of thus far...I feel like I'm the most boring person alive, does anyone really care about my day to day ramblings and bitchings??? Throw me a frickin bone here people! hehe

My daughter loves iced tea. How's that for random. She does...not quite 9 months old and she loves the stuff(decaf of course)...she steals sips out of my cup and says "mmmmmmmmm"...she really is just too bright if I do say so myself. She's trying to walk already, and she understands a lot of what we're saying to her. She knows what a lot of things are, and if you ask her "where's the ball?" she'll show you right where it's at. She's also saying mama and dada, she waves bye bye and hi, and I swear every now and then she just randomly repeats something we say. The other morning we were playing with her bug toy before we left the house for the day, and I said "there's your bug!" and she repeated "bug." She's said my sister's name before, and it's a difficult one to say. She said tree the other day, and she's said hi a few times. Evidently I spoke at a really young age, and could talk small sentences by the time I was a year old...which I don't have any problem whatsoever believing because jeez look at me now, I'll talk anyone's ear off if they let me.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM my husband is eating ravioli and it smells SOOOOO good...I must have some...

What the f...

This is probably going to be a short post, but I just have to vent. Ok so we all know I applied for this other job in another dept, and didn't get it because of my stupid boss lying in my reviews and making me out to be some horrible employee/person. Well I have a friend in another dept. that used to have the job I just applied for. She switched from the dept. I applied for, to the dept. I worked in, and left just like the other 4 people did, then came back to the company in yet another dept...following me?? Ok so she's currently 8 1/2 months pregnant, w/ a scheduled c-section in 6 wks. The lady whose job I applied for is quitting in March, and they wanted her to be able to train her replacement...still following?? Well my friend that is preggo and that used to be in this dept. I applied for, got an email from that dept's supervisor, whom I interviewed with. "Come see me" is all it said. So she went and saw her, and was asked if she would be interested in the position. My friend, ok ok let's call her Alicia...Alicia told this supervisor that this meeting was strictly between the two of them, that she didn't want HRD knowing, because HRD (where her MIL works) had instructed her to stay put where she's at for a while because the current dept. she is in has room for advancement and it's a decent job and they were so nice to give it to her when she was preggo like that. Well, somehow HRD found out. The only way they could have was if this supervisor went against her word and told HRD she was interested in my friend Alicia and that they had talked. Ok are ALL supervisor's shady?? Is that like a requirement or something? So now my friend Alicia doesn't trust this lady farther than she can throw her, and she doesn't want to move depts. and doesn't know if she should tell this lady she's not interested anymore or what. ANYWAY, get to the point right? Ok so again, I'm royally pissed off...this lady would rather take a lady about ready to pop and go on maternity leave right over the time the other lady is going to be retiring, over me. I am a damn good employee, my boss is just a psycho nutjob, and not just as a boss but as a person too. I never got bad reviews until she became my boss...this lady used to be my coworker, back when I was a temp. in this dept. and still in highschool, and she HATED me, she wouldn't even speak to me! I don't know if she thought she was too good for me, or if she just hates young people, or what, but she has always been a bitch. And then my wonderful wonderful WONDERFUL boss leaves, and who in the world do they choose to replace her? The bitch that hates me. I was fucked from the get go. Two of my coworkers at the time quit, just because this lady became our boss. Two of their replacements quit, just because of the shitty management in this dept...then my friend Alicia quits, for the same damn reason as the other 4 did. And where am I? I must be friggin insane, I'm STILL in this dept., I'm STILL miserable. After all these years, I tried, I went out on a limb, I put myself out there, I tried to finally get the hell out of this shit hole...and the other supervisor would rather have my about-to-pop friend instead of me who was so eager to get this job and learn something new and get a fresh start. I am deep down in this dark dank well, that I have NOT dug myself into, I have been thrown there by an evil witch...will NO ONE help me dig out?? Will nobody throw me a freakin bucket here?? I am not a negative person, I'm usually very happy and positive, but damn I've had piles and piles of dogshit thrown on me lately. Of course when Alicia told me all this I didn't let her see my hurt and anger, I was very nice and supportive...I mean she had nothing to do with any of this, it wasn't her fault. Sigh...oh well I think I've said all I can say right now...so much for a short little post.