Thursday, February 21, 2008

Just a day

Today's just been...a day. Nothing exciting. It's been sleeting all day. It looks like there's snow everywhere, but it's little ice balls. Schools are closed, which is nice because not only does my mom have Hailey today but that also means I don't have as many people calling and bugging me and not as many invoices have come in. I think I got a total of 5 today when I normally get 100 +. I'm tired...D's got this horrible cold now too, we both didn't sleep well last night. My whole body is tense today for some reason too. At least I'm not hurting like I had been earlier in the week.

Dan and I have been thinking a lot lately about how we would LOVE to be able to buy a house. I'm becoming obsessed with the thought. I hate it how I get like this...I'll get an idea in my head and start obsessing over it til I either 1. lose interest or 2. do something about it. Luckily my latest obsession is having some positive effects. I took some of the money I'd put away in savings and made a couple payments. It's also making me second guess every purchase I make. I'm determined to have no debt and a bunch of money saved up by the time D graduates. Last time I felt this determined was when I saved up enough to pay off my car, move into our apartment, outfit the place with everything we needed and STILL had money left over. The bummer about this whole thing is I don't see when in the world we'll ever be able to have another baby. I have to decide what I want more...a house or a baby. I'm really trying to think positive about being able to get a house. I keep telling myself if D can get a good job when he graduates next winter, surely his salary combined w/ the part time job he's going to continue working in the evenings and mine too will get us approved for a good enough loan to get a decent house. I want something bigger, preferably with a basement to store all our crap. I am sick and tired of all the clutter around our house, you don't even know. In our dining room we've got a card table w/ a bunch of stuff hiding under it and on top of it, an old computer desk we don't want to get rid of just yet, Hailey's high chair she hasn't used in forever, Hailey's ride-on toys for outside and our dining table. Her crib is still up in her bedroom because we have no place to store it when we take it down. It's blocking her closet, but it doesn't matter because her closet is packed full of things like the baby swing, bassinet etc.! WE NEED STORAGE SPACE! I'm telling myself surely after we buy a house I can eventually quit working and stay at home and watch kids...but that seems like so far off and some days I really struggle with the schedule we have now (like the days I'm hurting really bad). I just hate not having a plan and not knowing what the future holds, and I hate it that I can't have what I want which is D having a good job, me staying home w/ the kids and us owning a home. I'm not asking for much. It seems like everybody around me has the life I want these days! Except me! It's driving me nuts.

2 comments:

Mof2 said...

I really do know exactly how you feel. We were fortunate with the house we have. It was my parents, they sold it to us for the pay off amount because they had to move in with my mom's mom to take care of her. We lucked out. Right now too, the housing market is WAY down! You can practically buy a house for little of nothing with no money down. You should do some research into first time home buying in your state. I know there are lot's of states that have huge benefits for that. Cuz in the end who knows you may be able to afford a house now. You just gotta ask a realtor or broker what options are out there for you, financing wise.

Erin said...

By the calculators online, with my income alone we're only eligible for like a $55,000 loan which is NOTHING in this area. :(