This weekend has been very good for us. D told everybody that he promised to spend this weekend with me, because he wants to spend time with us before he has to go back to school. I hate to admit, I may have overreacted a little. D really didn't understand how bad I thought things were. We talked, and he was able to reassure me he's just really busy and stressed because of school, and that in less than a year it'll all be over and we'll be a "normal" family again. He really thought I was just going through one of my "down" times and things were really fine. I feel a bit stupid, honestly. Yea, he's not perfect. Yea he really could do more around the house. But since he's been home all weekend, he HAS been doing stuff around the house. And spending time with Hailey...he even put her to bed last night. She fell asleep during the first book but he held her for another good 20 minutes just because he misses her. And he's been great w/ me too...we let my mom take Hailey for a few hours yesterday and we went to see Potter (2nd time for me, but I really wanted to see it again)...he wanted to see the Simpson's movie, but I didn't think I could take a whole movie of the Simpson's, so he was nice and went to Potter instead. This weekend has been how I always want our life to be...and it's all because he's HOME. If I can just get through this next school year, everything should be fine. Last night we were talking about it, and about him finding a job and all. And our conversation really made me realize just how far off my vision of our relationship is...he actually started talking about when we were going to start trying for another baby again. We'd talked about waiting til he got out of school, which I thought he was ok with. But apparently not. Apparently he really wants to still try in December like we'd originally planned! Actually, it's becoming really apparent to me that while I'm over here thinking the world is ending and all that dramatic crap, he's been feeling like aside from my emotional explosions here and there, our relationship is going great. He didn't realize just how hard it's been on me to have him gone so much. And when we were having this conversation about him getting a job and everything, he went so far as to say there's no reason we'd even have to wait til December to try...that we could even try now and he'd be out of school by the time the baby's born!! I was shocked. Here I've already told his family and mine that we'll be waiting til he's out of school to try, and now there's a possibility if things go ok it MAY be sooner. Of course there's no way we're going to start trying now like he mentioned, I want to make sure things are really ok first. I'm setting a goal of after the first of the year, depending on how the next few months go between him and I. I have just as much work to do on this relationship as he does. And now that we both realize the situation it should get better from here on out.
Now for my update on Hailey. I am amazed at the speed at which she picks up new words/phrases. She is speaking full sentences now and we really have to watch what we say because she's repeating EVERYTHING, and not just for repetition's sake but actually using things over and over in the right context. This morning she was looking for her pacifier and when she found it she exclaimed "There it is!!" Yesterday she learned "fix"...at my mom's she was typing on the computer and kept hitting keys to make weird boxes pop up and she'd yell at my mom "Please fix it!" At school the other day she was cleaning up books and nobody was helping her even though she was singing the Clean Up song...Clean up clean up, everybody everywhere etc...and she got frustrated and turned to look at the other kids and yelled "Clean up people!!" The sitter does not say this, it just flew out of Hailey's mouth. She's so bossy, just like her momma. She's also learned to "read" another book. She picked it out at Walmart a few weeks ago, and LOVES it. Apparently they have it at school too. Hailey found it one day last week on the shelf, sat down and started "reading" it. The sitter was shocked, she didn't know we had the book at home. It's Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. Hailey talks about the monkeys and then talks about the mommy calling the dr. and then shakes her little pointer finger saying "no no monkeys!" etc. etc. It's too cute.
And I finally got some new pictures loaded onto the computer...
Her hair is getting so long!!
One last little note...Hailey has learned to pick her nose. Not something I'm proud of, but it is so darn cute to see her jamming that little finger up there. Makes her so much more of a "kid" somehow.