Friday, August 31, 2007

Yummy peepa mommy!

My mother in law asked me to go with her and her parents(in town to see Baby W) out to eat last night. Not one to pass up free food, I said we’d go(and D’s grandparents are really sweet). They chose a certain pizza place that we love, even though my mother in law has only been there once—with Hailey and I—and the grandparents have never been there. Usually when we go, it’s just Hailey and I. We have our little routine, and it always works out great. Last night it didn’t go quite so well. They wanted to choose a table, and sat down. The highchair they’d gotten Hailey was broken, so I went to get a new one while carrying Hailey. I’m used to this, I usually go alone, remember? His grandpa followed me and took the highchair from me even though I obviously had everything under control…I was carrying Hailey on my right hip as usual, and the highchair w/ my left hand, no problem. So he took it from me. I politely told him thanks. So we’re sitting at the table. Finally I ask if we’re going to go order or not. You have to understand, D’s grandma is even worse than my mother in law. The poor woman is just not bright at ALL. She had no idea that there could ever be a pizza place where you are not waited on. And this is not because of her age, believe me. My mother in law had been there before w/ me, but acted the same way as her mom…horrified that they had to get up and actually go to the counter and order. So we get up there and for once I stand up for myself…I told them if it was okay with them, I was going to order a pizza for us, half what D likes and half what Hailey and I like. They asked(although my mother in law had already asked me once on the phone 30 minutes ago) what I get on our pizza…I explained, so they’d understand why they wouldn’t want to share with us(I get funky stuff like artichoke hearts and mushrooms and onions, stuff they would never eat). They order their pizza, and I put in our full usual order including a salad w/ no sprouts for me, a bowl of shredded cheddar cheese for Hailey and milk and soda. I also ordered sodas for them, as they hadn’t even thought about ordering drinks. We go to get our soda, and once again they start grabbing stuff from me. I like order, organization…I like to be in control of what’s going on with myself and Hailey…I know I may seem like I’m being ridiculous, but all this “help” I was getting from them was not only unwanted but it was stressing me out because it was totally throwing out all order in our routine, and our stuff was spread out between 3 other people instead of being nicely contained where I knew where everything was. Maybe this is my OCD coming out, but I just needed them to back off and let me take care of us myself. I went and got our plates and silverware, and explained to them they would need to get their own as the 4 plates I picked up were just enough for Hailey and I between the pizza and salad etc. They refused to use the towel napkins this place has…one of the “unique” things about this place…because that was “gross” and why use those when they have disposable napkins available? We finally get to the table and they begin griping about having to do all this work themselves. I ignored them as best I could. Then when I went to pick up my salad, they were like “You ordered a SALAD?!?!” Then as I was feeding bites of it to Hailey they had to discuss in length the fact that my 16 month old daughter actually eats and likes salad and how weird it is for an adult to like salad let alone a 16 month old…this is what I’m talking about, this is why I hate eating with his family. We have nothing in common when it comes to food. They don’t need or like vegetables and they always talk about how weird I am because I do…and they act like I put on this huge act just to be different and get attention! Ok if I don’t have some sort of veggie w/ every meal I feel disgusting, I’m sorry…it’s how I was raised, we’ve always eaten healthy food! At least this time my father in law and nephew weren’t there, so I didn’t have to put up with my father in law trying to shove chocolate cookies and pudding down my daughter’s throat the whole meal, knowing I don’t allow those things on a weekday(really hardly at all, she’s lucky to ever get anything sweet besides an animal cracker or a bit of ice cream). My nephew always sits there eating like a bird, refusing to eat anything except sweets and soda…and he’s 2 and ½ and they let him…and they think it’s ridiculous that Hailey’s not just like him, because he’s “normal”...can you tell how annoyed I am??? So, back to last night...after the salad was gone, they had to discuss in great lengths the fact that Hailey was eating SO MUCH, when all she’d had was some of my salad, a bowl of cheddar cheese and a jar of carrot/apple/mango baby food that she fed to herself(sneaky way to get her to eat carrots, and of course they were SHOCKED at how she could actually feed herself—imagine, a kid feeding themselves, WOW!!) They act like I overfeed her. Then they griped about how long the pizza was taking(ok it had been 25 minutes and the clock was set to 30 minutes, hello be patient) and they exclaimed very loudly that pizza hut NEVER takes that long(seriously? Pizza Hut takes an hour!) I tried to change the subject by explaining that they make their own dough and everything, and pointing out the “dough tunnel” and stairs, where the little kids can stand and the workers will throw balls of dough through the tunnel over the glass to them to play with. They did not grasp the concept. I tried for 5 minutes to explain it to the grandma…the grandpa had given up trying to understand…my mother in law didn’t care anything about what I was saying…finally I gave up and changed the subject again. Finally the pizza came, and Hailey chowed down. But they’d messed up our routine so much, that she was really antsy and not focused, so she grabbed my plate and promptly told me I was “all done!” and then wanted to jump on my lap while yelling at the people behind us. She NEVER acts like that there. So I got firm with her, something that by the looks my inlaws gave me I take it they didn’t like…all I did was look her in the eyes, hold her arms firmly, and tell her to settle down NOW and I stood her next to my chair and ignored her cutesy pleading “Mom-MEE!” They looked at me like I was the most horrible mother EVER(they don’t reprimand my nephew, ever…they tell him very sweetly not to do something, and then let him do it anyway) and you know what, she settled down and wanted to sit down in her chair. Hm, think I know my own kid, thanks. By the end of the meal my mother in law had warped back into one of her “moods” where she acts like she hates me and they rushed off. I don’t know if it’s the new baby making them all act freaky or what, but my in-laws are driving me INSANE these past couple days. My mother in law is now trying to tell me when I can go to the hospital and when I can’t…even though my sister in law told me to come by tonight with Hailey and take more pictures for her, apparently my mother in law has it in her head I am not allowed to be there unless they are as well?? God forbid, I spend 15 more minutes with the baby than they get to. Even though they were there all freaking day yesterday and I didn’t even go by because they wanted to see Hailey and take us out to eat, which I gave in to even though my sister in law had begged me to come keep her company each day she was there! I’m just sick of how controlling they are, sick of how they act like I’m a freaking weirdo and after 8 years of being with D still making me feel like an outsider…I’m tired of them flaunting how much they help my brother and sister in law, rubbing it in to make me feel like crap. I’m tired of my mother in law voicing her opinion about us about Hailey, all while acting like she doesn’t even care if she gets to see her or anything, while flaunting how much she LOVES my nephew. I’m just tired of it all, and they’re driving me to the point where I’m just going to not try anymore. It’s starting to feel oddly familiar…it feels like it did when D and I moved in together, and then when I was pregnant, and right after I had Hailey. These people will never be happy with anything we do, will continue to try to control our lives while showing as minimal interest as necessary in our daughter, and continue to try and make it seem like it’s our fault they never get to see her etc. etc. I could go on and on. It’ll never end. This post is really jumbled I know, but I just have all these thoughts and feelings in my head that I can’t get sorted out.

Ok now that that’s out… everything else is going great. It’s Friday, YAY!! I’m hanging out with my mom tonight. Tomorrow if it’s nice, we plan on going swimming. Sunday my sister is riding down to my grandma’s with Hailey and I, to meet the family for dinner. Monday I have off work, thank GOD(I’ve been so busy but so bored here lately!). The weather is still beautiful out, Hailey really enjoyed the ride home last night, with both front windows open blowing the cool breeze on her while she relaxed in her car seat. Things are still great with D and I, and he’s falling totally in love with Hailey all over again, just like I knew he would when he started spending more time with her. It’s killing him now that school’s back in session, he misses her so much…to the point where he’s calling me and making me put her on the phone, and even getting up EARLY to see her on his 1 day to sleep in!!! Things are just perfect, and I feel so positive about life…no matter what’s happened lately, it hasn’t gotten me down. It’s a great feeling!!

1 comment:

Kayce said...

Is there any chance we could be long-lost sister-in-laws? Because almost every story you tell about your in-laws sounds exactly like how mine would act. The only real difference is that they are obsessed with my son, instead of the I-don't-care attitude yours have with Hailey. I'll have to remember to e-mail you the address to my family blog later so you can see the types of comments she leaves to my posts. I have a feeling the passive-aggressiveness you see there will look familiar.