Update

Things have been crazy lately, as usual.

My sister went back to California, and is now a resident of beautiful Hawaii.

Last weekend I drove to STL to visit my cousin and her little girl. That night about 11:00 Hailey started coming down with a fever. My cousin's little girl got sick the next day...I'm used to Hailey having bugs here and there so I didn't think anything of it. My cousin, on the other hand, has always been a stay at home mom which means her daughter has hardly ever been sick. So she freaked at the 102 degree temp and took her to the dr. It's a good thing she did...the girls apparently had swine flu. Which it turns out, really isn't that big of a deal! Unless you have a heart or breathing problem, which neither of the girls do, thank goodness. Hailey was over her fever Tuesday.

Monday I left Hailey with my unemployed husband and went to apply at a childcare center right outside of town. They had me work on the playground for about an hour. They told me to go into DFS the next day and see about qualifying for free childcare. Yet again, being married screwed me over...we don't qualify. With or without D working. Without him working, they consider him able to care for her while I work. With him and I both working, even if we didn't make over 8$ an hour each, we still would be over the income limit because we only have one kid. I called the owner of the center Tuesday afternoon to let him know what I found out. They were very nice and said they could give me a 40% discount for Hailey to go there. He called me back later that day and just like that, I had a job. I started my new job Wednesday, only 2 days after I applied. My first day was HORRIBLE...but I think it was only because I wasn't quite prepared for what they wanted me to do, and because I hate change with a passion. Also Hailey stayed home with D for most of the day, to make my first day a little easier on me...D ended up bringing her at about 2:00 though, so he could go hunting. Nice. He hasn't changed. So the rest of the day was difficult, her clinging to me, not wanting me to do my job etc....I mean she's had my full undivided attention for 4 months now. Anyway, long story short, I completely changed professions from boring ol' accounting...and am now a teacher of an awnry, energetic, and adorable group of 2 year olds! I never quite believed I would be a teacher, even though I always sorta wanted to be. It's a HUGE job. With little pay. But it's worth it, it's rewarding, it's fun, and I get to wear YOGA PANTS to work every day if I want!! (Did I mention how much WORK this job is?!?! I never get to sit down. I sweep and mop floors, constantly pick up and clean, and I'm not even going to talk about the bathroom breaks right now, with 6 to 8 little 2 year olds running amock. It's craziness! But I love it...and hell, I may even lose some weight because of all the activity! LOL)

Amidst all the craziness of starting a new job and falling into place there, and trying to get my kid used to being in a new school, she comes down with ANOTHER fever. Complains of her ear hurting, and on my 3rd day of work throws up all over my bathroom. I called work, told them I'd be in a few minutes late, scheduled a dr. appt. for Hailey and had to leave her home with my (still) unemployed husband...and he's sick too, which means he's a huge baby right now, as well as a humongous GRUMP. Luckily they let me off work at 11:30 so I could come home and take Hailey to the dr. She had a horrible ear infection, bulging ear drum etc. Poor baby :( Rough week for her. She's on meds now and on the mend. Thank God.

Now I am on the hunt for lesson plans and activities for 2 year olds...the group I have have had so many different teachers (apparently nobody sticks around for long because 2 year olds are not the desired age to teach) that they don't know their colors, shapes, how to count or say the ABC's...any of it. It's hard to do activities when they don't even know the basics, and haven't been taught how to behave. So far I think things are going great. I think the kids are going to learn to listen to me...even after just 2 days in the classroom with them, I've been told they listen to me better than they have anybody else, even better than the other teachers that still work there. They seemed to have some fun with the activities I came up with (shape hokie pokie and playing WITH them during free play--which the teachers of the other classes don't do.) I'm still nervous about this week...the things that worry me are little things, like when do I schedule recess? The center doesn't have set times, which seems crazy to me. The place seems unorganized, it drives me nuts. I got lucky last week, it was way too rainy to even think about going outside. I just hate not knowing what's coming up, when to do what, etc. I like to be prepared. I know the longer I'm there, the better things will get. It's just getting to that point that is the hard part.

As far as D goes...I don't have a clue what to do. He can't get a job, not even an INTERVIEW. He's been applying everywhere, even places like Home Depot and Bass Pro. He's applied for janitor positions at the college here in town, because he's got 9 years of experience in that area. But he hasn't gotten a single interview anywhere. He's frustrated, but not as frustrated as he should be. He doesn't care that bills are going unpaid. He's still going hunting and playing golf a lot. He's going NOTHING around the house...and he criticized me for not making the house spotless when I wasn't working...even though I had Hailey to take care of and entertain all day every day. He doesn't watch her, he doesn't have a job...but yet he does nothing but make the house DIRTIER. I'm trying very hard to deal with a sick kid, a new job with long hours, my FMS problems (exhaustion and hurting) AND keep the house clean. I might as well be single. Seriously. I've come so super close to making him leave. When it comes down to it, I just don't want to move in with my mom. I'm so used to having my own space. In a perfect world, I would have enough money to get an apartment of my own for Hailey and I. And D would still be courteous, and pay child support when he got a job, and let me have full custody so he could go off and do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I cannot be without my daughter. I don't trust him with her for a day, let alone a weekend...especially with the fact that he'd be living with his parents (because face it, regardless of what he thinks, he could NOT support himself) and they do things like not feeding her because she isn't complaining about being hungry. And she hates staying there. She refuses to spend the night with them. UGH I just never wanted to be in this mess. I do love D, like you would love your best friend that you've had for the last 10 years. But he treats me like crap, and doesn't act like a husband at all. Still. And I just can't put up with this forever. I'm so torn on what to do. Right now I'm going to concentrate on my new job, and eventually, HOPEFULLY, I'll work things out in my head and be able to move on with my life...whether it's with him, or not.

To switch to a brighter subject...the pumpkin festival in Hartsburg, MO is coming up soon and I'm SO super excited!!! My mom took the whole weekend off work...I'm not even bugging D to go this year. My mom, Hailey and I are going to go and have a blast! I should have a new picture to put up after next weekend...I'll do like I normally do and post each year's picture, so everybody can see how much Hailey has changed!! :)

If anybody has any ideas for activities for my class, or websites they recommend etc., PLEASE let me know! Thanks!

Hailey passed her swimming lessons!!! YAY!! I'm so proud of her. She did such a good job! Now when she turns 3 she can move on to the next level! In the meantime we'll keep working on the things she's learned!

It's the little things that count

I love having a little girl. She's my little buddy, my mini me.

Hailey has taken interest this week in my pantyliners. She takes the paper off, goes in the bathroom to throw it away, then comes back in the bedroom and gives it to me to put on. This morning when I did she clapped for me "Yay!!" Hey it's the little things that count!! :)

Every morning the last thing we do before going downstairs and putting on our shoes is a little bathroom routine of deodorant, apple spray, and lotion. Hailey loves doing this little routine with me. She used to have me put the deodorant on her. Now she puts it on all by herself! It is SO cute to see her hiking up her shirt and putting it on her little armpits. Not that she needs it, but she wants to be just like Mommy and I guess it's a good habit for her to get into anyway, right? Then she closes her eyes while I spray my beloved Country Apple spray (I bought a case of this when they discontinued the scent years ago--one of the VERY few scents that doesn't give me a huge headache!!) over her head and then spray it a bunch of times on myself. I use my bath and body works special lotion (one of those fancy ones, jasmine vanilla or something I can't remember but it smells SOOOO good and one bottle has lasted me like 3 years, no joke) and today she started using my after sun lotion that smells like coconut lime. She smears it on her little legs and arms. It's such a simple little routine but it's a special little part of our morning!

Better day

So I'm in a better mood today. Believe it or not, last night actually went as planned. **GASP!!** I was home by 4:30 (I'm totally loving how close I live to the sitter now!) and after piddling around, having a snack, shaving, getting our stuff together...we still had an hour to go before her lessons started! D decided to go which shocked the hell out of me. I'm glad he did because I would have been so nervous and confused without him. When I got inside the place I had no idea where to go. It's my old highschool but I never went inside the pool building!! I took bowling for PE. :) Hailey had a good time. She threw some minor fits because she wanted me to let her go but finally I just flat out told her that if I let her go she'll sink to the bottom and die. Pretty blunt I know, but it got her to quit pitching a fit. She knows what dying is because she accidentally kills roly polies sometimes (read: she bends them backwards or rips them in half--on accident of course) and I get onto her and tell her that now it's dead and will never come back to life to play with her. I firmly believe in telling the truth when it comes to things like that. Anyway she loved it so much she wasn't ready to get out of the water when the lesson was over. I, on the other hand, was freezing my ass off and SO ready to get out! I can't wait to take her back tonight though, even though I'm dreading the cold water. After we got home I made her dinner and she ate a TON! She even drank her milk from her big girl cup really well...she got her first fat lip at daycare yesterday so she can't use a sippy very well without it hurting. After dinner I was going to give her a bath but she was so worn out from swimming she told me she needed to just go to bed! I was shocked! So we skipped bath time, read WallE and went straight to bed! I woke up at 10:00 and went to my own bed and got some much needed sleep! (Except for my husband waking me up when he got home because he wanted to know where some video tapes of him in Canada are...like I know!! He actually turned on our bedroom light to look for them! He has some nerve! And then Hailey woke up at 1:00 for about 45 minutes, no idea why...but I still got extra sleep!) So I'm in a better mood today...the problems and issues are still there but I'm feeling more positive about everything and feeling more proactive about the situations. I'm hoping tonight goes as well as last night did.

I have to say that I am totally loving my new kitchen. I LOVE how it's set up, I LOVE my counter space, I LOVE how my cabinets aren't old and grubby but newer and clean. My floor doesn't look forever dirty like the linoleum at the old place did--that nasty industrial crappy looking stuff--because the kitchen and bathrooms have tile floors at our new place...I love it! And I totally LOVE my new appliances! I don't even care that my dishwasher and stove are Hotpoint because they are NEW and they work!! And they look nice! And my fridge, OMG we are in love with that thing. The fridge is new, and it's BIG, and it cools everything evenly!!! No more spoiling milk on one side or frozen milk on the other!! It's amazing!! It has a huge freezer too, I actually have a ton of room in there now! We also love our huge master bedroom. I thought our old room was a decent size...this one is huge! We even have a little dressing area w/ extra closet space and a light. I am SO incredibly glad I made the decision to rent one of these duplexes. They are extremely nice and well kept, in a VERY quiet and safe area, more convenient for our commutes, Hailey LOVES it there, we have TONS more space...and the rent is incredibly cheap for the size and age of this place and the area that it's in. They are seriously the best deal in town, no doubt about it. Now I know why they go so fast and why people stay for long periods of time when they get one. My husband kept saying (you know the D...y Downer that he is...) that we'll be moving again in a year because I will find something about this place I don't like. I finally told him that actually, he's completely wrong...I'm afraid we're going to HAVE to move in a year because of his stupid job and I'm not going to want to leave this place! That shut him up!

Swimming Lessons

I am super super excited!! Hailey is going to take swimming lessons!! Usually all this fun extra-carricular stuff is sort of limited to kids of stay at home mom's around here so I really thought this was something she would never be able to do. But I found out recently that they're now offering classes on the weekends and weeknights!! I'm so glad I went ahead and looked it up and called right away because there was was only one more class left at Hailey's age level that hadn't already started and I got one of the last two spots for that class! She goes from July 7 to the 16th, at 6:30 in the evening. Plenty of time to eat first, since I get off at 4:00 during the summer! It's at an indoor heated pool, so that will be nice. Best of all, the 8 days worth of lessons were only $35!! Completely worth the money. I really hope she likes it. They teach things like submersion, floating on their front and back, safe entry in and how to safely get out of the pool, safe life jacket practices, etc. She loves going to the Lake so much, already jumping off the dock and tubing behind the boat (with me in the tube too of course) so I'm hoping she'll like her swimming lessons too. I only got to take them one summer as a kid, when I was about 10 I think. I've never been good in the water and I've always been a bit afraid of it. Hopefully by getting Hailey in lessons she won't take after me! :) I am just beyond excited and I can't wait to start!!

Total bummer that I'm going to have to keep my legs shaved for a good 2 weeks, but oh well!! LOL She's worth it.

The Masterpiece

This is the back of Hailey's shirt she made at an art event we went to at a local park a couple weekends ago. I asked her if I could take a picture of her in her shirt (she is VERY proud of that shirt...she really did make it herself) and she said "NO!" and walked off. So I got the back of the shirt...and ignore my messy house, I'm in the middle of packing and we've been so busy lately so everything is just everywhere right now.

And by the way, I'm oddly at ease with this which is VERY odd. I should be freaking out at the dirt on my carpet that I cannot get the vacuum to and the mountain of boxes blocking the use of my dining room table and the piles of stuff everywhere...but I don't care. Maybe because I know we're moving soon and I'll be able to organize??

The sun is shining

We're going to have bad days here and there, I know that. But the bad days just need to, well, not be so bad, darn it! Things are okay. Things are better. Promises aren't being broken, which is the major reason I was so upset. Hailey's still getting to go to the Lake next weekend. I'll forget the name calling in time. Everything's fine. Moving on.

So big things have been happening in these parts. Well big in my book anyway.

My husband finally admitted he is getting excited about moving. I think having to peel off his mud caked clothes and shoes on the front porch for God and all the Mexican's living next door to see really did it. He's very excited about having a garage now. And here I thought telling him he could have all his hunting/fishing/golf stuff at HOME instead of stored in his parents garage would do it! All I had to do was start making him undress outdoors! LOL

Hailey isn't that weirded out by the packing, which is something I was worried about. A couple nights ago I started packing up the books in her bedroom (the ones we don't read every night) and she did run in her bedroom and say "Hey, those are mine!" but once I explained that we had to pack them away so we can move them to the new house, she was fine. We've decided on keeping her around for most, if not all, of the day while we're moving. That way she can see all of our stuff leaving the old place and being moved into the new. I'm sure there will be plenty of comments from the inlaws (who aren't helping us move, by the way) about how we need to just send Hailey to the sitter's but I know my daughter and I really think it's best for her to see what's happening first hand.

My mom's new job is going amazingly well. I feel like God really answered our prayers with this one. The people in this law office are absolutely amazing. The lawyers are incredible. The things they have done for my mother are just above and beyond that of a normal employer. Things like giving her a huge check just because they didn't have to pay two months of Cobra insurance for her. You'd think they'd just be thankful they didn't have to pay for it and leave it at that. Instead they give the money they would have used to pay for the insurance directly to her. Just to have. We are so incredibly thankful for everything God is giving her right now. She really deserves it. And just to add to her happiness I bought her a new vacuum last week. She loaned hers to her boyfriend over a year ago and unfortunately he never gave it back. She's been borrowing mine. When I bought my new (ABSOLUTELY AWESOME) new vacuum I was going to give her our old one...until D took it down to the Lake and used it to clean up the nastiness at the cabin. Now that one is banished to the cabin (as we threw the old one there away) and my mom has a nice new one. All is right in cleaning land!

D and I have realized that we are going to have to share the cabin. Which is totally fine, except for the fact that we're the only ones that have been cleaning that place and fixing it up! Well aside from his dad, who has really been doing a lot as well which we are very thankful for. But now that the place is cleaner and has newer couches and a TV, all the relatives are wanting to go down there. Like D's brother and my sister in law. And now D's cousin that hasn't been in years will be taking her new husband there a week after the wedding. Which is totally fine! We just need to get over the fact that it's not just our cabin. And that people don't care that we're the only ones that have done any work, they're still going to reap the benefits. And we've realized that we just need to move to the Lake ourselves! We're hoping D can get a job down there after he graduates. The Lake is a place where I've always just felt at ease. I love the atmosphere, I love the lifestyle. I want a boat and a waverunner way more than I want a house. I just need to be away from the city, I'm tired of all the congestion and how there are people everywhere you go. I love being down at the Lake and waking up to the sound of boats going by and waverunners zooming all over the place. (Sort of off topic but waverunners remind me of nats. They follow huge boats around riding their wake...I'd think this would be really annoying for the boat owners! It's so fun though!) If it can't be there then I want to live in another tiny little town. I'm talking no grocery store tiny like one of my favorite little blufftop towns near here. Where you're driving along and come upon a heard of chickens just standing in the street. I crave that slower paced, less stressed, more quiet life.

Changing subjects completely...I'm going to talk about work now. I can't go into all the details but I have to say working for a public school system vs. for a big corporation is very interesting. We're dealing with tax le.vys and bud.get cuts and board meetings and it's just all very (oddly enough) exciting. It gets your blood boiling, you start to feel so passionate about your feelings on the issues! This morning we all met at the office about 15 minutes early (and I was NOT the last one here, I am happy to announce! **pats myself on back**) and rode over to the boa.rd meeting together. Apparently we made quite the impact all showing up as a united front like that, our whole office. My boss and our secretary (who replaced me when I took this job--and who is now losing her job because of the budget cuts) both spoke and we stood up with them to show our support. We were in the very front row so when we stood up it looked very intimidating. We could just feel the teachers behind us staring and we could hear them whispering. It's amazing how much in denial they are of simple mathematics. We're dealing with a bud.get crisis, we're cutting something like 82 positions across the dist.rict, everybody is losing 2 days of work w/out pay...and the teachers think we should go ahead with the salary sch.edule and essentially give everyone raises (although as the teachers put it, it is NOT a raise...it's a contractual obligation, a part of their benefits package--although it's not in any of their contracts or benefit info!) The whole idea of taking away jobs and days and then giving everyone a raise is just ludicrous. And what really bites my ass is the fact that the teachers claim to be so much about the students, reminding everybody that this is really about the students here, but then they are so money hungry! And they give sob stories about how so many of them are already at a hardship, having to work 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet, and PLEASE don't make this harder on us than it already is! BOOHOO. The average teacher in our district makes almost $50,000 a year. For 9 months work. Some of our accountants make less than that and they work 12 months! And as far as having to work 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet...I would LOVE to see them live on my salary or that of our secretaries. They make twice what we do and are able to be off in the summer. It's just a mess and while both sides have valid points I think it just says something how the people that are supposedly so "for the students" still want their raise so bad, while those of us that are being directly impacted by the cuts by ways such as losing staff, so our individual workloads will go up, we'll be losing 2 days of work w/ no pay, etc. are all for NOT getting raises. How about we keep the staff that are losing their jobs so the district can actually run/work properly and everybody stay at the same rate of pay...an efficiently run district is what the students need. Not a teacher who makes $1000 more per year.

So I got off on a rant there. I feel very good about being involved in this and it makes me happy to hear that we made a big impact on everyone this morning (in a good way). The superin.tendent is very happy with what went on. Hopefully a good decision will be made and this will all be over soon!

A plus about having to get here so early this morning...now I get off at 3:43! Yay!

I've really gotten into reading again. I've finished The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella...hard to get into at first but ultimately a GREAT book! One of my favorites of hers so far! I've now moved on to Can You Keep a Secret...another one of hers. So far it's pretty good...now the only problem is I haven't had time to read lately! I've got many more books on my "to read" list and can't wait to get all settled in our new place and have time to read again!

Tomorrow night we've got a rehearsal and dinner for our friend's wedding that is going on Saturday. We've made the decision to take Hailey to the rehearsal and dinner, against my inlaws judgement, and we're very excited about going. Another reason for me to get semi dressed up...I got a new dark grey knit skirt (the kind w/ the foldover top like I LOVE) at Old Navy last night for the occassion. I'll probably just wear it with a pink tank top and some flip flops unless I can find some sandals tonight. For the wedding Saturday I found a HUGE bargain at Kohl's, a dress on sale for $7. I'm going to attempt to curl my hair which means I need to buy either some curlers or a curling iron. I've been wanting those for ages anyway. I got Hailey the cutest little dress at Penneys on sale for $15 and she picked out some little gold braided flip flops that I'm going to squeeze her fat little feet into. Hopefully the day goes smoothly with minimal meltdowns on her part.

My sister came over last night after a LONG time of not seeing each other. We went to Old Navy, got sandwiches at Quizno's (not to self: Hailey does NOT like toasted subs), ran by Penneys and just hung out. We decided we really need to make an effort to do it more often and we've planned a date with just the two of us to go to this new seafood place we both want to try.

Hailey has yet again grown up overnight. The other day at the sitters she was going a puzzle with the sitter's middle son who is 2 months older than her. He asked her what a puzzle piece was. Hailey said "I THINK it's a crab. I THINK." The sitter said she laughed so hard, and that Hailey sounded just like a little adult. She also told the sitter all about the tye dyed shirt she made at the festival I took her to last weekend. The sitter had read about it on our family blog but hadn't mentioned it to Hailey at all. Hailey brought it up all on her own and told her all about how she made this shirt with circles and colored it yellow and blue and pink and then Mommy washed it. She said she made it at the big park. Little things like that make me realize that I have a kid now. She's not a little baby anymore, as much as I still feel like I have a baby. I have a kid now. A true little kid.

My husband got a lesson Tuesday night (before Hailey went to bed and we fought, of course) on just how much of a kid Hailey is now. And how he really needs to watch his mouth. We were on the way to the park after having DQ ice cream. He started hassling me about doing "the deed" with him that night. I kept telling him I just do NOT feel like it, it was not a good night, I was exhausted, blah blah blah on and on and finally I told him to not talk about things like that in front of Hailey anymore. He started in again hassling me until Hailey finally had enough and she yelled at him "DADDY SHE'S NOT IN THE MOOD!" He was so embarrassed and I just laughed and laughed. The look of shock on his face was priceless. Of course she had no idea exactly what we were talking about but you'd better bet that got him to shut up!!! Thanks Hailey!

And now I'd better get to work. Sometime this weekend I should have some pictures to upload! Hope everyone is having a great week!

A little bit rested

Hailey finally slept last night. THANK YOU LORD. And even with D out of town yet AGAIN (celebrating a friend's birthday and another friend's going away--the Mexican) I fell asleep just fine. Storms and all.

Shark Tale is no longer in our library of movies that Hailey is allowed to watch. Apparently it was scaring the crap out of her, unbeknown to us. Last night while sitting at the dinner table she started frantically trying to pull up her legs and just freaking out. I asked her what was wrong. Last time it was a monster under the table (my big fluffy fat cat actually)...not this time...this time, she said "Sharks going to get my feet!!!" I was quite shocked. I explained that sharks live in the Ocean water and cannot get her. That nothing in that house is going to get her. It's just me, her and the cat. Later she heard a noisy truck coming down the road and freaked out again yelling that the shark was coming to get her. Again, I told her my explanation. Last night before I turned off her light I said "Hailey PLEASE sleep all night tonight. Mommy and Hailey really need some good sleep. If you wake up tonight, please turn over and go back to sleep." I don't know what it was that did it, but she slept all night.

Hailey and I screamed at each other last night. I was so tired, she was so frustrated. Didn't say anything, just looked at each other and screamed. I told her we need to be nice to each other. This morning she was mad that I wouldn't let her take her new puppy toy to school. She screamed at me. I was surprised, we'd been having a great morning. I explained to her calmly that we can't take the puppy because the other kids will break it. She walked over, took my face gently in her hands and said "Mommy I need to be nice."

Nice to know we're both working on our anger issues! :) She's so entertaining. That's for sure.

The other night we were going on a walk and she said "Mommy I need to go home because I am too cold and it's getting too dark." How do they learn that sort of thing? I mean it's not like I sat down and explained the words "because" and "too" to her. I wouldn't have the first clue how to. It's amazing to me how a kid just learns to speak without much explanation. Wish it was that easy for adults to just pick up a language, how cool would that be? Something funny though...Hailey says "my" for "me" a lot of the time. Like "Mommy, pick my up!" And when she's telling me to roll her window down a lot of time she gets confused. I'll roll it down but not enough, so she tells me "No roll it up FAR!" so I roll it back up and she gets so pissed...so I roll it way down and she's fine. I always correct her but she still gets confused.

Please God, I'm begging

Last night before I laid down to try and get to sleep I prayed to God to PLEASE let Hailey and I sleep through the night soundly and wake up well rested the next morning. Maybe God works in a different time zone or something, but where we are 3:00 am is NOT the morning. :o(

I don't know if I mentioned it, and I'm too busy/tired/lazy to go back and look...our friend A forgot and let Hailey watch Monsters Inc. last Monday when he was watching her for us while our sitter was on maternity leave. I prayed and prayed that it wouldn't have the same affect on her as it did all those months ago, but my prayers were not answered and she has not only been waking up every single night since then, she's also been scared of monsters during the day. Even if we're sitting at the dinner table...the other night she started shaking and wanting down out of her seat really bad during dinner and when I asked her what was wrong she said a monster was coming to get her. It was the cat under the table. One day I caught her looking behind the couch. She whispered that she was looking for monsters. I am SO SO SO tired. I feel like I have a baby at home that doesn't sleep through the night yet. When she wakes up varies but it's always between 12:30 and 3:30. I'm always in her room for at least an hour in a half, usually a lot longer. One night she woke up at 12:30 and I didn't get to leave her room til my alarm went off at 5:50. I am to the point where I'm having trouble just functioning and getting through the day.

And now add to all that the fact that my husband is now home from his week-long trip to Florida which means I'm not sleeping well anyway.

My night last night went like this...

~FINALLY fell asleep about 12:30...it's the weirdest thing, I'm so exhausted and then I go to lay down and my mind just races and I can't get to sleep. I've had issues with this all my life but since I've had Hailey it's pretty much stopped, it just comes and goes once in a while. Lovely that it's back right now when she's having sleep issues as well. Makes things that much worse.

~Tossed and turned and woke up a bunch because my husband was snoring or breathing in my face or had stolen the covers or I was hot...

~Hailey woke up crying for me at 3:00. I went pee and told her to climb back into bed. I half sat half layed at the end of her bed til about an hour later I fell asleep. An hour after that at 5:00 I woke up, my neck KILLING me and went to go lay back in my own soft comfy bed, only to find a room sucked of all the oxygen and a husband lying in bed snoring so loudly I could hear him across the house. Bye comfy bed, hello hard cold couch. I slept on the couch for another 50 minutes, my alarm going off every 10 minutes. Then I got up to face yet another day in a fog.

Some nights have been way worse than this, where I just start falling asleep and drooling on my pillow at 12:20 and she wakes up at 12:30 and I'm stuck in her room until my alarm goes off at 5:50 (last week...now my alarm goes off at 5:15 since I have to get her to the sitters again).

God please, if you're listening...PLEASE let us get a good, full-night's sleep tonight. I don't think I can go on much longer without it. I mean it's only Tuesday...I have the rest of the week to get through.

Picture post--I'll go back and delete some of these later :)

A few weekends ago we went to my little sister's house to FINALLY clean my car! Hailey had fun playing with Nana while A and I cleaned. After a few hours and a lot of effort, it looked pretty darn good!

Hailey loving the warm weather!

Stepping on ants...

Hailey's first dandelion puff experience...she can't quite blow hard enough yet!

Good job! This would be my little sis...

Poser...(yea I'm a loser HAHA)

I have no idea where these bolts came from?? Hopefully they weren't important??

It's amazing how much crap I was carrying around in my car...tons of shoes, a whole load of laundry, REEEEALY old green tea...

This is just from cleaning my dash and inside the front doors...grody...

We found this on my ceiling...I believe it is very very old petrified DQ shake...

Wondering what the heck the white stuff on my ceiling is...

Taking a drive...in the garage...with the car off :) She thought she was pretty darn cool...

Hailey and Nana...

Also a couple pictures from Hailey's birthday on April 14th...

Nothing like cake off a rat's butt...mmmmm...

Her Loving Family doll house...this is just what it came with, she has a lot more accessories now!

Birthday make up

Our friend A has been watching Hailey all this week while our sitter is on maternity leave. Yesterday his girlfriend had off work and was home with their little baby boy. I felt really bad about making him come all the way to our town (30 minutes from where they live) to watch Hailey when he could be home with his little family, so on the way home for lunch I called my boss and asked for the rest of the day off. He said it was fine, and A seemed really thankful when I told him what I'd done. I took Hailey back to work with me for an hour or so so I could finish up the work I needed to finish. She was so good! She colored me some pictures with my highlighters and used my date stamp a bunch. My coworker brought her a handful of brightly colored paper and Hailey thought that was oh so cool. She colored me lady bugs on all of them. :) The others with kids here at work have "work artwork" from their kids hanging up...now I finally do too!! I was able to get all of my work done and Hailey thought my job was really interesting. She LOVED the check sealer. I explained to her that it was going to be really loud and not to be scared. When I turned it on her face lit up and she pointed and said "I like that!!! I like that Mommy!" She thought the postage machine was pretty cool too and even wanted to help me get the checks out of the bin at the end and stack them neatly! For an hour I had a little shadow following me around everywhere. I am so so so thankful that I work in a place that is so kid friendly. At the hell hole where I used to work I couldn't even take Hailey past the lobby!!!! Let alone have her come to work with me for a while! AMAZING. God really did bless me with this job.

(Speaking of the hell hole, guess what I found out yesterday! ANOTHER one of my coworkers was shoved out the door! They made her so miserable after I left and finally Friday they pushed her to tears--and she is a very professional woman--so she just left! And my position is still open as well!! HAHA!! Serves them right...)

After I was done with my work I asked Hailey if she wanted pizza or salad for lunch. She said "ME WANT SALAD!!!" She's like the salad monster LOL So I took her to Ruby Tuesday's which is just a block down the road from where I work. I asked for a booth next to the salad bar. We got a nice corner booth. Having lunch just the two of us was so nice. We sat next to each other, she cuddled me a bit, and she even let me get up and get her salad myself without demanding to go with me and "help" me. She did say pretty loudly while I was at the salad bar "Get me some grapes! I WANT GRAPES! MOMMY, GRAPES!!" but when I put her plate of food in front of her she sat quietly and ate while I went to get my food--well she did yell once "Mommy, you getting grapes too???" LOL but other than that she was great. She ate almost all her food! She had her usual eggs, ham, peas, carrots, lettuce and cheese w/ a little bit of ranch dressing and she ate two helpings of grapes! It made me feel really good that she ate so well because this week has not been a good eating week for her w/ A watching her. She hasn't really wanted to eat much and she'd have stuff like poptarts and whatnot when I wasn't there. After we'd had enough to eat we went to Toys R Us which is right across the road! I was totally making up for her birthday that didn't go as I'd planned. I've felt bad for that ever since that day. So we went and walked around Toys R Us...she pulled one of those ball popper things everywhere calling it her lawn mower or her vacuum. I found some neat toys for her for her birthday--a flat screen Light Brite that was only $9.99 and she picked out a huge 120 piece set of fake food that is really really neat that was only $15.99. She won't even remember it by the time she opens it at her big family birthday party on the 24th! I also found out they carry the line of Loving Family doll house toys there! I was shocked! I assumed they didn't since they don't online. I got her the office set and the parents' bedroom set. My mother in law will pay me back for those and give them to her for her bday. I also bought Hailey THIS little puppy.
She LOOOVES it. The first one we bought didn't bark so after her nap we had to take it back. She told the guy at the customer service desk "It don't work, gotta get a new one" and she took off to find her a new puppy. We took it out to make sure it worked before we left the store and she was happy as pie when it did. She carried the puppy across the parking lot saying "Gotta carry it so it won't get runned over by cars." She even slept with the puppy last night (minus the pink cord which I just untied and took off for the night). We went home and she took a nap while I did a couple blog posts on the family blog FINALLY. All in all it was a great afternoon! Totally made up for her birthday afternoon I think!

More randomness...I'm just full of it today!

I just talked to my sister. My dad might possibly be staying in my little brother's bedroom at my sister's house. Where my stepmom lives. I'm so tired of my family. They get a divorce and my dad moves my brother's crazy mother down here and says they're together then denies he ever said that and now supposedly they've saved up all this money and have their things packed and are hiding out upstairs at my dad's house just waiting to run out on him (my brother's brother's court date is today--for when he assaulted my sister). They blew up at my dad the other night and had my little brother really scared that my dad was going to get hurt. Apparently my brother's mother just came down here to get him, not to help my dad out. Shady, shady people. And crazy at that. So supposedly for his safety and because of my little brother's depressed breakdown about his family falling apart, my dad is maybe going to move into my sister's house. He says he still loves my stepmom, which DUH everybody knew but now SHE'S saying that they were together for so many years that surely there was a reason they were together. I just hate it. They never should have gotten divorced if they still thought they might want to be together. I'm ultra-upset almost to the verge of tears that my little sister is going to be thrown back into this all again. It's her own fault I know, I mean she didn't take my advice and get her own place, she let her mom move in with her. And now she's stuck in this lease with her mom. And I was so excited when they got their place because my dad is nothing but drama and it's been nice going over there to hang out with no worries that anything's going to happen. I just want my sister to get away from them so we can have a normal family but I'm starting to think that'll never happen.

So, switching gears again...on a more positive note, when I went home for lunch today I noticed that the cleaning fairy had been to my house this morning...not only did he unload/reload/run the dishwasher, but my microwave was also cleaned out and apparently both the kitchen and bathroom trashcans were emptied. I think somebody felt bad about last night :)

And I'll end this with another cute Hailey story...D was with her this morning until about 11:30. She was NOT happy when he was the one to get her up this morning. She cried begged for me and threw huge fits and even hit him for about 30 minutes. He tried time out, being sweet to her, everything and nothing worked. Finally she resorted to laying on the floor, depressed, refusing to even talk to him. He called me and my first instinct was to rush home and save the day. But luckily he was able to get her to talk to me on the phone. I asked her if she wanted a bagel and she brightened up right away. I told her to tell Daddy to go get her a bagel. She said "Daddy, go to the kitchen and get me a gagel." Then I told her to have fun with Daddy and show him her toys and play Wintendo (the Wii) with him. I told her I loved her so much and she said "I love you too" and then she was fine, back to her normal happy self. Thank God she's reached the age that I can talk to her over the phone and help when I can't actually be there in person. And who knew bagels were so uplifting to the spirits! LOL

D called me back about 5 minutes later and said "Do I have to do anything to this to get it ready to eat?" I might note that these are those new Bagelfulls from Kraft...Hailey loves them. Only way I can get her to eat the bagel and not just lick the cream cheese off the top! So I told him no, he just needed to peel the plastic down halfway and give it to her to eat, just like a candy bar. I told him NOT to take the plastic off because she would throw a huge fit and refuse to eat it. I also told him to give her a strawberry cream cheese one because the original ones are mine and I doubt she'd like it and then she wouldn't want a strawberry one if he offered that to her afterwards. He was so confused. "What do you mean strawberry or original, there isn't any cream cheese on this thing!" I told him to just look at the package and it says right on there. He said "I'm looking at these multigrain bagels on the counter!" OH JEEZ. I said "Honey, those aren't bagels, those are english muffins! The bagels are in the fridge in the box!" He said "No wonder when I showed her the package and asked her if she was sure she wanted a bagel she said 'Daddy that's not a gagel, that's bread!'" I could hear her in the background screaming "Somebody's outside mowing! Mowing the grass!" She was so excited, she loves to watch the mowers. I'm just glad he's trying to get things right and calling me for help. Really makes me feel better. Course when I showed up today at lunch she was running around in her blue puppy pjs, hair not combed, eating a pop tart with her pink fake crocs on. LOL Men...

Two years ago today...

...I had been in the hospital only about an hour or two. I'd been in labor since about 10:00 that morning. I had no idea how long it was going to take until I had my baby. Labor was starting to get pretty darned painfull. I still didn't full realize that I was about to have a baby come out of me! I had no idea what was in store for me with a newborn. I had no idea how hard the next 6 months of my life would be. Or how amazingly, wonderfully awesome my little girl was going to be.

One year ago today I was finally really enjoying this mom thing. I'd completely fallen head over heals in love with my little girl! Even though I couldn't believe she was about to be one, she was still my baby. I was excited about that milestone and not really sad a bit. We'd survived the first year...heck more than survived, we'd flown through with flying colors!

Today, my daughter turns two years old. And I'm completely excited...but this year I'm also a little sad. She truly is a little kid now. She's not my little baby anymore. We've finally packed away all the "baby" things to make room for all her "kid" stuff. We have a toddler now...a little kid. I'm so stinking proud of her, and so excited that she's growing up into this amazing little girl. But I can't help but feel like "Where'd my baby go??"

The last 2 years have been the best years of my life. If we could go back and have a choice whether or not to have that little "oops" happen, we would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Hailey is the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's the best little girl a mom could ever ask for. I thank God for putting her in my life!!

And it doesn't matter how old she is, she'll ALWAYS be my baby.

Happy 2nd Birthday Miss Hailey!

So...yea...

Ok I'm having a morning, I just need to vent. I'm exhausted. Here I am worried I'm pregnant, my boobs have started leaking colostrum which started happening right when I got pregnant with Hailey and completely quit once my milk dried up after I quit breastfeeding...I'm worrying about money and what our parents and the people I work with are going to think if I am.

I'm also excited about Hailey's mini-celebration I'm having for her birthday Monday evening (D will be gone to another tournament so we're having her real party with all her guests after this semester is over) but I've also been really busy with that, ordering the little cake--she picked a Ratatouille cake with Remy and Emile on the top, so cute!--finding the darned dollhouse (found it on Ebay, brand new, it's on it's way here in a UPS truck right now, YAY!) letting family know about the mini party etc. (my mom, sister, and mother and father in law will be there!) Am I supposed to feed these people since they'll be there at dinner time?? I don't want to have to cook and waste all that time...any suggestions??

I just don't feel like I have anything together right now. I'm behind at work because my job is too much for one person to do and my boss who always liked to key some of my stuff is on maternity leave...so I'm swamped. And I hate feeling like I haven't gotten anything done, and I hate not even feeling like I have time to get up and get a glass of water or go pee.

Then last night I'm finally in bed, trying to go to sleep, and my husband starts harassing me for whatever sort of sexual activity I will give him. COME ON. Seriously. Just let me go to sleep. Oh and the great thing about this (note the sarcasm in the GREAT) is that we had just finished talking about how my boobs are leaking and looking at my preggo pictures from Hailey and noting how my belly at the end of the day right now looks just as big as when I was about 4 months pregnant with Hailey...no joke (I pointed that out in the 4 months picture, D didn't believe me so I stood up and showed him my belly and just the look on his face said it all...then he says "OH." Nice.) ...and then he harasses me for sex??? When I'm worried about being pregnant and showing him my bloated stomach and talking about my boobs leaking?? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with men?? I finally bitched at him to get out of the room enough to where he went all drama king on me and stormed out. I finally got to sleep. And had another one of those dreams...the one where I come home after work and realize I left Hailey at home all day by herself. But this time it was even more real, because I came home to our home where we live now and sat down at my dining room table and heard something and looked up and Hailey's standing there at the gate I put up across her bedroom door, in her pjs, hair a mess, crying. I felt horrible again. Why am I having these dreams? Does this have something to do with being scared I won't give her enough attention if I have another baby??

I must have shut my alarm off this morning because I woke up late. I found a bunch of dirty clothes and pillow cases on the floor at the end of the bed, in the spot my husband thinks is his hamper for some odd reason. I should have thought "oh how nice, he changed pillow cases"...instead I said out loud (oops, meant to just think it) "this is not a freaking hamper, JEEZ COME ON!" and I woke him up. Feel really bad about that. What a way to wake up in the morning, to your wife bitching at you. I feel bad about bitching to him last night so much too and rejecting him so harshly...I tried to explain to him that I was just exhausted and no way could I be nice at all, I was just too pissy and tired. But he takes it personally.

Ok well I just had a great conversation with a coworker about our kids farting (she's got 2 little girls, ages 4 and about 6 months) that had me laughing so hard my cheeks hurt. Lovely topic, but man did it help my mood brighten a bit!

I'll end this on a good note. Last night Hailey and I brought up YouTube and danced and sang like crazy to Hole. She loves Celebrity Skin. You should have heard her trying to sing it with me! And she was so cute, shaking her little boody and waving her arms. Eventually we got a little worn out and I brought up Sarah McLachlan's song Angel. I've always thought about my cousin(the one who killed himself my senior year in highschool and was like a brother to me) when I've heard this song before and it nearly always brings me to tears but helped me feel happy too knowing he was with God now. So last night I'm holding Hailey, she's got her head laying on my shoulder, I'm swaying to the music and singing to her...then she looks up, cups my chin in her hands like she does and sort of rubs my cheek and looks at me with the sweetest little look on her face. The moment was priceless. I'm not a crier but boy did she make tears come to my eyes. She's my little angel...she's the light in my life! That song will always have new meaning for me now! And I realized everything's going to be just fine.

"You came into my life like a promised sunrise...brightening my days with the light in your eyes. I've never been so strong. Now I'm where I belong."

Guilt

It's really hard to put my thoughts into words right now, I'm going on a couple hours of sleep...so bear with me.

My mom, Hailey and I ran by Walmart yesterday evening. I was exhausted from a weekend of non-stop cleaning and sort of felt like I was walking around in a fog. Hailey used to do great at the store. I could usually give her something to eat and she'd sit there nicely, quietly eating. Now that she's a big girl (WAY too big for her britches in fact) she insists on walking most of the time. Which wouldn't be a problem except she likes to dart right in front of people...people who then give me dirty looks like "Can't you control your kid??" Or she'll run down the isle before I can stop her. She's fearless when it comes to some things. I'm not like that, I never have been. On one hand this is a good thing...maybe she won't be as painfully shy as I was growing up. But on the other hand, how many times is she going to hurt herself before she listens to me? What's it going to take for her to get my point? Falling down the stairs and breaking the fall with her face at my brother and sister in law's house sure didn't do the trick. Nor did flipping out of the front of the cart and splatting on the hard concrete floor at Walmart last night.

SIGH

The problem is, something horrible happens and she cries for MAYBE 5 minutes tops. Then she's fine and wants to go play. Not a mark on her. No blood, no bruises, no scrapes. Don't get me wrong, she's got bruises all over her legs. One on her butt. One on her back. I'm ultra paranoid somebody's going to see her and think we abuse her! But it's not from major stuff like this. She's just clumsy like me and falls a lot, or runs into stuff etc. Last night I ran into my mom's car...she always jokes about how clumsy I am...as in "Didn't see the car there didja?" I thank God that Hailey's never really been hurt badly when something horrible like this happens. I don't know HOW she's not at LEAST bruised...but I thank God. It could have turned out much, much worse each time these things happened.

Besides having no idea how to teach her that she can't run off in a store (because talking firmly and putting her in time outs just doesn't work) or walk down stairs herself or climb out of a cart on her own...there's also the issue of this huge guilt I feel. Other people's kids aren't getting hurt like this. I've never in my life seen a kid fall out of a shopping cart. Yea, those warnings on the little flip down plastic thing in the kid's seat?? There are a REASON for those. I grew up riding in the basket of the cart, I thought people that insisted their kids only rode strapped in to the child seat were overly anal. That's one thing I've learned since having a kid...your views on parenting before you have kids are constantly changed after you actually have one. So back to my point...I feel so incredibly responsible and horribly guilty for these falls she's had. I've turned my back for one second and BOOM it's happened. But these things don't seem to be happening to other kids...why on earth can't I keep them from happening to mine? Am I a bad mother? I can't keep an eye on her 100% of the time. I should be able to turn away for a second to grab a package of strawberries without having to worry she's going to dive headfirst out of the cart. She's 2 years old for God sakes!!!! And why does she run away? Why is she not scared of all these people walking around her? Why is it hilarious to make Mommy leave her purse and cart and have to chase after her, when the end result is me holding her very firmly (sometimes upside down or by her legs or whatever other part of her I can grab) and telling her in a very mean voice what she did and why it is wrong. My kid doesn't throw tantrums hardly EVER. If she does they're very short lived, no longer than 30 seconds. She doesn't get into things at home that she shouldn't. I never had to baby proof except to put those little plugs in the outlets. She doesn't climb on the furniture. She doesn't jump of the couch or off her bed. But then she'll try to climb out of a shopping cart herself or go down stairs without railings. Repeatedly. You'd think she'd be afraid of stairs after that incident, right? Nah. Sure she lets me hold her hand more now without arguing. But she's still more than happy to try them herself.

She's just like her father. If he says he wants to try something fairly dangerous, like doing a back flip off the side of the swimming pool when he hasn't in YEARS and is quite a few pounds heavier than he was as a youngun...you can't tell him not to, you can't tell him he's going to hurt himself, because he'll do it anyway. Afterwards, when you're fishing him out of the water with a huge goose egg on his head, you say "I told you so" and he learns his lesson and you move on. Is this the way I'm going to have to raise Hailey? Do everything I possibly can to keep her from getting hurt while living in fear that the second I turn my back she's going to do something really daring and hurt herself? So I can give her the lecture "Hailey, Mommy told you you cannot climb out of the cart by yourself...that's what happens, you fall and hurt yourself. You have to ask for help if you want to do that, you say 'Mommy please get me out of the cart.'"??

I'm so confused right now. I can tell I'm not even making any sense. My job as Hailey's parent is to keep her safe, teach her lessons and rules, instill good values in her and hopefully give her a happy life. I feel like I'm failing, hugely.

She's a good kid. She's amazingly caring and gentle and sweet. But she got my stubbornness, my bossiness, my clumsiness...D's focus (this is good and bad) and daring and apparently sometimes bad judgement. (Or is that last one just a toddler trait???) And she's not ALWAYS like that when we go out...she's just unusually squirrelly sometimes.

I'm sick of people looking at me like I'm a bad mother. YAY for them that their kid sits in the cart or their stroller like an angel and doesn't move or talk. My kid is more strong-willed (and wants to participate in every activity...she's not just there to look cute). I'm not sure how to change that. What am I doing wrong? And how can I shake this feeling like these things should NOT be happening to her, and that I'm a horrible mother for turning my back for a second?

I'm to the point where I don't want to take her anywhere anymore because I'm afraid she'll get hurt. She doesn't get hurt at home. Nobody's judging us at home or getting irritated at my kid (ok most people think she's adorable, but she does get looks sometimes that make me want to walk up and smack the person). I've always felt very strongly about not altering your life hugely just for your kids...about taking them with you to do things so they learn how to behave going out to eat or in a store etc. But I don't want her to get hurt in the process.

Help! I need advice!!

Hailey will be two April 14 She started potty training herself a couple months ago. She's gotten to where she'll go pee in the potty all day and evening, pees in the potty right before bedtime, wakes up dry most mornings and pees in the potty in the morning. She poops once a day and has only pooped in the potty twice...the other days she's just gone in her diaper. She wears Pampers Easy Ups (she calls them her panties) while she's with me and diapers at daycare. She still does have a little accident here and there where she'll start going in her diaper/Easy Up and then realize what she's doing and stop and finish on the potty. Is it time to take the next step towards regular panties? Should I use the Feel N Learn Easy Ups that supposedly have a special liner that makes them feel as soon as they're wet? Should I just start using those thick cotton panties or just regular panties during the day and the Easy Ups only at night?? This whole potty training thing is new to me. So far it's been easy, but I'm clueless as to how and when to take the next step! I need help!! Any advice???

Surf's Up!

One of the local movie theaters is having free Spring matinées at 10 and 11 every Saturday and Sunday in March and April! They even have a 15 minute intermission at every show. I'm so excited, unless something happens I'm going to take Hailey to her first ever movie tomorrow! They're showing Surf's Up which she's never seen. And if she doesn't like it and wants to leave, I didn't pay anything so it won't matter! YAY!!

My best friend

So what I really wanted to write about today was how awesome my weekend was. Yes it went by too fast, yes I was exhausted all weekend because of noisy neighbors, but the best thing in the whole wide world happened this weekend that made everything else not matter.

I love babies, don't get me wrong. But having a toddler is so much fun. I love having a kid. She can interact with me and show me just how much she loves me right back...she loves spending time with me, we have a blast! She's my little buddy. It's been like that for a long time now.

Hailey's favorite movie right now is Cars. Great movie if you haven't seen it. Not only has Hailey learned how to say "Shoot, tractors is so DUMB!", she's also learned a little bit about racing and how to sing her first "radio" song (she sings "Life is a highway, all alone!" LOL reminds me of me as a kid, singing Garth Brooks 'Shameless,' "Well I'm shavin, when it comes to lovin you...")...it's also taught her a little bit about relationships.

As I was kneeling down in the dining room Saturday morning Hailey ran up to me, climbed up and stood on my legs, hugged me around my neck so tight and said "You my best friend." I was in shock. I almost started crying. I told her "You're my best friend too sweetie" and looked over at my husband standing in the kitchen. He said "Hailey, am I your best friend too?" I was praying to God she'd say yes. He's heartbroken enough from her near-constant rejection. She said "Daddy my best friend too!" Throughout the weekend she would hug me so tight or pat my face and tell me I was her best friend. Out of nowhere, while we were watching a movie, while we were playing, just a sudden burst of affection. She is the light in my life, the thing that makes my world beautiful, a huge reason why life is totally worth living.

I pray to God we keep our wonderful relationship over the years and that I never have to hear the dreaded words "I hate you" come out of her mouth in my direction. Now I see just how bad I hurt my mom throughout those horrid teenage years.

She also pooped in the potty this weekend, counted to 15 all on her own, said the name of 2 more shapes while pointing to them (square and circle) and woke up with a dry diaper this morning and peed in the potty...she is such a wonderful little person!

There is nothing in the world better than her hugs and hearing her say those words "You're my best friend" and knowing that she fully understands the concept and genuinely means it. Nothing better.

Ick (and Cars are for girls too!)

Ugh, I'm sick of stomach issues. I'm quite sure they've flared up because of all the stress in my life right now. D and I hadn't been getting along, my stepmom and dad are still in the middle of a messy divorce--that's brought all kinds of lovely issues to our lives--work hasn't been the greatest and I'm also trying to deal w/ my health issues and going to physical therapy twice a week which makes me not get home til late those nights. Yesterday the problems between D and I came to a head at lunch time and it was pretty obvious that my stress has been, if not actually causing the stomach issues, at least irritating them to some degree. Luckily we worked things out (I hope it sticks), had my mom come watch Hailey for the evening and went on a much needed date night to celebrate Valentine's Day a little early. We went out to eat and I was STARVING after not eating much for the past few days (and actually I hadn't eaten anything for lunch yesterday at all because of the issues between D and I) so even though I didn't completely pig out, I probably didn't make the best choices as far as the type of food I ate. I had about 2/3 of a salad--hard on my stomach, but I LOOOOVE salad!--two mozzarella sticks, 5 fried shrimp, a few fries, a few bites of cole slaw and a little parfait thing w/ crushed oreos, chocolate mousse and whipped cream. SO GOOD. I'm paying for it today though. I woke up this morning feeling sick and snoozed the alarm for 20 minutes before I felt like I could get out of bed without throwing up. I got to work 10 minutes late and I've been running to the bathroom off and on all morning. Lovely. I've also got some lovely indigestion to go along with it. I haven't had these problems since I worked at my last job. It's amazing what stress can do to your body.

We did have a great date night though. We talked while we ate and then ran over to the mall to get Jelly Bellies for me and a book for him, although he didn't end up buying one. We bought my mom a small Valentine's Day present (comfy fuzzy socks and some choc. covered almonds) and D got Hailey a little present from him--she's OBSESSED with the movie Cars lately...we've watched it at least once a day for the past month--a Lightening McQueen car, Doc Hudson and my favorite, Guido and Luigi! Guido even has a removable wig of hair--from the race scene, the red/white/green fro! Too cute! We had a really good time. Hopefully we can continue like this and start building our relationship back up again.

Hailey's sitter got Hailey the Mater car and gave it to her this morning...she immediately hugged it to her chest and instructed everyone not to touch it. She LOVES Mater. I'm sure she's not going to let that thing out of her site now! It may even replace her Cars blanket as her new "lovie!" :o)

It's Potty Time!

A few weeks ago we went to the library to get Hailey a few new bedtime books. I picked out this one about a little boy named Joe who needs to use the potty. Each page features a different animal, complete with little butt crack, sitting on a little red potty. Hailey LOVES it! We read it every night. Sometimes Hailey even reads it to me. On the page with the elephant she says "Elephant go potty, THUMP!" because it says something like "Nellie Elephant sits on the potty with a thump!" At the end Joe goes potty in the potty and the book says "Well done, Joe!" Hailey says "Good job Joe!!!" She loves the page with the little mouse on it. She says the mouse is going poop. :o) I'm not sure if it's because of this book or if something just clicked in her little head, but Hailey has been using the potty a lot lately! Last night while D and I went out for an early Valentine's dinner my mom gave Hailey a bath. She told my mom she needed to poop. My mom told her if she pooped in the water she wasn't going to be very happy and asked her if she needed to poop in her potty. Hailey said no. A few minutes later she said she had to poop again. My mom told her if she poops in the tub she'll get poop on her boppies, on her toys and on her! She asked her again if she needed to poop in the potty and told her she could get back in the bathtub when she was done. This time Hailey said yes. She didn't poop but she peed! When we got home she took me in the bathroom to show me her pee and wanted me to dump it. We were so proud! Then this morning Hailey was a little cranky and not so ready to get out of bed. She kept saying she needed to poop again. I asked her if she wanted to go in the potty and she said no. I told her to lay down on the living room floor and let me put a clean diaper on her and then she could poop. She laid down, I took her diaper off and then she yelled at me "I WANNA GO ON THE POTTY!" I helped her up and told her to go in there. She went and sat down and peed and peed and peed for the longest time! I was SO PROUD of her! She acted like it was no big thang, like it's old news...she stood up, I wiped her, told her good job and she told me to dump it. She's doing so well, we really hope this continues!! At this rate she may be well on the way to being potty trained by the time she turns two!