Sunday, April 29, 2007

Is a title really necessary??

She's doing ok today. Her temp was only about 99. Nothing like last night. She ate some breakfast at lunchtime and an applesauce while we ate dogs, again, just like last night. I'm so over my hot dog craving. Good thing they're gone. Now she's napping. For a while on me, til I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Then my mom took over. Then for a while in her crib, til she woke up asking for her grandma. Now they're rocking in her bedroom again. And she's coughing her horrible cough off and on and wheezing while she breathes. I'm worried about sending her to daycare tomorrow. I know my new job would understand if I couldn't make it in, under the circumstances. But I don't have a whole lot of sick/vacation time yet, and being done one day would wipe that out. Plus she has a dr. appointment Tuesday. I hate this whole "working mom" bit. It's not the way I pictured things. I'm supposed to be a stay at home mom, that was how my life was supposed to go. We're seriously working towards that goal. One of these days, hopefully. But who knows what kind of job D will be able to get...I don't even have a clue what kind of job he'd go for, w/ the degree he's getting(natural resource/wildlife mgmt.). And will it pay well enough? I want to have another baby when Hailey's 3, but will I be able to stay home by then? Somehow I think not, esp. if we ever want to buy a house and get out of debt. I could do home daycare, but honestly that's not what I really want to do. I want to take care of MY kids. Hopefully my baby will be better soon. I have a feeling she'll be sleeping with us again tonight. Which is fine...I just want her to feel better.

Lately I've been re-reading my childhood books. Usually I'll pull one off Hailey's book shelf as she's napping on my chest on the weekends. A while back when she had that ear infection I re-read The BFG by Roald Dahl. Now I'm reading The Giver by Lois Lowry. I love books. I miss reading. It just takes time. Like everything else. Time that I don't have. But I'm trying. I have 1 hour lunches now, I think I'll start taking my books and reading at lunch. I remember now what this book, The Giver, is was one of my favs growing up. Speaking of this book, I'm off to read...I'm tired of the computer for now. Hope everyone is having a better weekend than I am! Really, it hasn't been that bad, aside from Hailey being sick. Even D said a bunch of times yesterday what a great day we'd had together. We can't wait for him to be around all the time and have great days every day!


Emmakirst said...

Awwww, how scary, I hope she feels like herself soon. It is definately hard being a working mom, but it's what we have to do i guess. I hope that hubby is able to find a job that allows you to stay home and care for you child/ren. I would be stuck too about the daycare. I know now my dad is sick and I dont' know if i have someone to watch the kids on Thursday, if that's the case, I have to call in sick.

Wendy said...

Glad that she is feeling better! Being a working mom vs. a SAHM is something that we all struggle with. I am at home now but Michael is on Summer pay which is way less than winter pay so we are really struggling. But, after gas, & child care for 2 kids, it doesn't make any sense for me to go back! Especially since I am a Pre school teacher and we make crap for pay:) I am sorry that you feel so down about working right now but just know that you are doing what is best for your family!

Ashley said...

OH MY GOD! I've been slacking and missed so much! Poor Hailey, I can't believe how sick she's been? I'm SO SO sorry! I would be so upset and worried, it sounds like you've handled things really really well. Oh, I hope she's better soon!

I'm flattered that you missed me though. I really didn't think anyone cared. :)

BTW, if your size 2 pants are FALLING OFF, you can wear some damn shorts!!!!