My little girl has also started having a sense of self. Tonight my mom was trying to help her get the straw to the juice box in her mouth. She can do this herself. And she let my mom know, by jerking the juice box away, patting herself in the chest a couple times with her hand and proclaiming loudly and forcefully "MINE!" It came out of nowhere, caught us off guard, and made us laugh til we couldn't breathe.
Last night Hailey tried to break out of this joint. She was bound and determined. She reached for the handle on the sliding glass door...too short...she pried her little fingers between the screen door and the door jam, and tugged and tugged. I'm gonna have to watch her really close, she's gonna be one of those kids that I found outside by herself if I'm not careful. Tonight instead of trying to break out, she very nicely cleaned the metal slide that the door sits on. With about 5 baby wipes she pulled out of the container. She actually wiped the door thing clean. The wipes were grey when she was done. And then she wiped her face with the same wipes. Ew. But hey, at least she's getting the hang of this whole cleaning thing, all on her own! Mommy's little helper.
We've also learned a way to communicate the fact that she has pooped in her diaper. "Pooey!" As in "You pooped, Pooey!" Or "Hailey, did you Pooey?" Sometimes she agrees the Pooey is too much to handle, too stinky to smell, and she nods her head yes...YES mom, I'm Pooey, please change my diaper! And she even shakes her head and says "Pooey!" Tonight, however, she didn't want to stop her cleaning for a silly thing like having her butt rid of poop. I asked her "Hailey, are you pooey?" She shook her head back and forth, insisting that no she did not have poop in her britches. No, she was not pooey. Eventually I convinced her of her stinkiness, and she laid down on the floor. But I took way too long to clean her up, and she tried to take off with poo on her butt. Oh, the joys of being a mom.
Speaking of being a mom, Mother's Day is coming up in a couple days! Last Mother's Day I knew I wasn't a WONDERFUL mom. It was weird to get cards from D and my mom about what a great mom I was. I knew they were lies. I knew I was just barely scraping by. It made me feel like crap, honestly. And I felt weird. I was a mom. I was not prepared to have that title! It wasn't something I felt comfortable announcing to the world, by having people dote on me on that day. I tried to turn the attention to my mom. Of course I would have been upset if I hadn't gotten any cards too. But it was just a weird day. This year, I am REALLY looking forward to Mother's Day!! I can't believe how far I've become. This year, I know I'm awesome. This year, I know without a doubt that Hailey adores me above all others. And I adore her like I never could have imagined. We're buddies, we're two peas in a pod. She needs me and I need her. We're two halves of a whole. We're so in love with each other it's rediculous. I'm a mom, and an awesome one at that. This year, I wanna shout it out to the world! I've become comfortable with my roll, and proud, and excited, and I'm just loving every minute. And it's so great, I got my first Mother's Day present today. And simultaneously, my first "I made this for mommy at school" present too. My heart melted, I almost cried. At the sitter's she made me the most wonderful picture. It's got an adorable snapshot of her in pigtails, and her handprints in pink fingerpaint. With a poem that melts my heart. And it's just perfect, because it really is the way I feel about motherhood. It's the reason why there are goldfish crackers all over my living room floor right now, and the reason I don't care that she's squirting juice from her juicebox everywhere while figuring out which way is "up" on the box...
Here is the poem, tucked between her sweet little pink handprints:
Sticky little fingers,
Touching all the walls.
Smudgy little fingerprints,
From a child so small.
It seems the cleaning's never done,
But soon the small child's grown.
And no more little fingerprints
Will decorate your home.
So save a little hand print
So you can recall,
Just how sweet your child's hand looked
When it was very small.
I'm sad that I didn't get to appreciate every minute of my daughter's life. But I'm also excited to spend the rest of my life being her mommy.
I feel odd putting this at the bottom of this post, but I have to share something that happened to me today. This afternoon my phone rang. It was the lady I interviewed with at the other company, before I got my new job. The job that I was sure I would get. The job I lost to a person with less experience and a college degree. Well apparently that person didn't work out, because the job is open again. And they offered it to me. I told them unfortunately I already found another job somewhere else. They asked how long I'd been there, and I told them about a month. She paused, and said "We should have snatched you up when we could!" She asked me how I liked my new job and I told her I love it. She said "Well if you're ever in the market for a new job again, let me know!" How awesome am I. I told her I appreciate the phonecall. I rock. What can I say. I told some of the girls at my new job, because I thought it was funny that they called me, and they all got these worried looks on their faces..."you're not leaving are you???" I reassured them that no, I wasn't. I just had to brag. I can't help it. I'm proud of myself. For so long, I had such a negative view of myself. But now I can see that I rock, that's I'm awesome, that I really am a great person! And my daughter is at the moment eating a I Love Culligan sticker. Oh yea, she rocks too :o)
Hope everyone has an amazing Mother's Day!! We all rock!!