Wednesday, April 16, 2008


So I'm totally swamped and behind at work because of taking Monday off for Hailey's birthday. I have a ton of things to write about but don't have a bit of time to do here are a few bullet points...

~I'm not pregnant. Starting getting cramping in my lower back Saturday. All my symptoms had started to disappear too. Now I'm having my period. So that's over with. I'll definitely be more careful from now on with my pills. This also made us realize we do want another baby sooner rather than later and may start trying as early as this summer, but possibly waiting til D graduates this winter.

~We had a really busy weekend...Hailey's friend had a bday party Saturday and my Uncle's surprise 60th bday party was Sunday. I felt totally uncomfortable and out of place at each since I only knew a few people at each party. After a few meetings with old friends that I felt didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped and then all the forced-socialization this weekend, I'm really feeling my anti-social tendencies flaring up and I'm totally ready for a nice comfy weekend with my family this weekend. My sister and I have plans to clean our cars together. Nice relaxing fun. Seriously needed.

~I'm sick of people who say they're going to do something and then don't do it. Just fess don't really want to do it, can't do it, aren't going to, whatever. Don't leave me hanging to wonder what's up. I'm not going to ask, in fear of looking like a fool or whatever. I don't have time for people like this in my life, nor do I care to try and salvage a relationship like, I'm done.

~My mom confessed to me Saturday night she feels like she's my spouse sometimes because she's my support person. NICE. Way to make me feel like crap. She's my best friend. Apparently she doesn't feel the same way about me. I'm always inviting her over and asking her to do things with us because I genuinely like her company. I've explained this before. But apparently she still feels obligated and can't say no when she wants to because she thinks I can't take care of my own family and life and feels obligated to be my "support" and step in where my husband is lacking. She told me she hopes he'll step up and mature once he graduates, which made me realize just how much I really do love my defense mode kicked in and I totally defended him saying how stressed and busy he is right now and how he is there for me when he can be. Sometimes that isn't always true, but how dare she say that crap? And again, make me feel like a bum that can't take care of myself or my kid. I'm not over-reacting either. She has told me flat out she thinks I shouldn't have any more kids because I can hardly take care of the one I have. Ok asking her to pick up Hailey when I have to go to physical therapy or when I'm at home puking my guts out from my stomach issues twice every 6 months or so is NOT too much to ask, is it??!?!! I do everything for Hailey, and he's beyond thriving, how am I not taking care of her correctly???? Ok moving on...

~Hailey's birthday went well except for the fact that my mother in law wouldn't quit calling all damn afternoon and delayed Hailey's nap so long that by the time I went to lay her down she was over tired and refusing to nap. I had to let her cry it out for the first time in her life, after I went to another room and screamed at the wall to blow off steam...she cried for like 5 minutes and then went to sleep, no big deal. Still feel shitty about all that happening on her bday though, and we didn't get to do anything fun for her except go to Subway which she loves...and her mini-party that night. I should have taken her to ride the big carousel at the mall. :( Feeling really bad about that. Party went great. I'll update later w/ a pic of her awesome cake. She LOOOOOOOOOVES her dollhouse and can play with it for hours. This morning she sat and stared at it for 20 minutes. I'm already ordering little odds and ends off Ebay for it to use as rewards when she's had an extra good day! I'm totally getting hooked on the dollhouse as well...I never had one as a kid and always wanted one.

~Speaking of her party...I'm getting really annoyed at people calling me and leaving me voicemails (because you know I hate talking on the phone and only answer when certain people call, like my mom, D or sister--sorry no offense I just don't want to talk to anybody else right now) that say "My feelings are so hurt, you didn't tell me about Hailey's party, BLAH BLAH BLAH SOB SOB SOB." Get over it. I didn't want a bunch of people there and I only invited the immediate people in our family who are the least drama-bound. Only my mom, sister, stepmom, mother and father in law were there from our family and then my friend and her little girl came ONLY because they're moving to Japan TODAY. I'm sick of people making me feel bad for my decisions when they're what's best for my family and I KNOW they are the right decisions. BLAH!

I haven't had time to read anyone's blogs. I'm super tired when I get home and still have to force myself to do loads of laundry, dishes, pick up the house, play with Hailey etc. etc. etc.

I just want to go home, put on my new Victoria Secret sweatpants my sister got me as a surprise gift (have I mentioned how great she is??) and take a long nap on the couch. HA! HAHA! Like that'll ever happen!

Oh and I nicked another mailbox w/ my passenger side mirror last night...GAH! I totally suck at driving when I'm tired. I so wish D could be in town to pick Hailey up for me. I have been driving like a snail after that happened. Luckily it was just a nick and the mirror was already broken out. Gosh I sound like such a loser! I really need some sleep, seriously...

1 comment:

Wendy said...

I think that your title is correct! I hope that things start looking up for you sweets! Oh, and I haven't forgotten about the GC that you won! Things went a little insane here and I haven't made it to the PO!! Sorry...will get it out this Sat! Hopefully:)