Wednesday, June 6, 2007

WHAT ABOUT ME???

I am so busy, stretched so thin, so worn out lately...well, that's always my life though isn't it? Always something going on, never enough time for everything, always tired and worn out...never a moments rest right? What about my whole "slowing down life" deal I was working on? Where'd that go? Hailey's birthday party is this Saturday, and my SIL's baby shower is this Sunday. Fun weekend right? YES! And I don't even mind having to unpack and clean my house all in the matter of a couple hours spread over a few week nights...no big deal! Having to go shopping for a gift for my SIL and make a cake while finishing up cleaning Friday night. Great! I don't mind! BUT...here's the but...the problem is, no one understands that I'm a human being with my own life, my own plans, my own FAMILY. I've got our family friend calling me every other day, insisting I have to plant her flowers THIS WEEK or they will outgrow their containers and die. I told her of all the stuff I have going on this week. Her response?? Well surely you can find time to do this for me, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to, it'll only take about 45 minutes to do. Every minute is precious to me. Not to mention the fact that she's not taking into account the time it takes for me to drive all the way out to her house(they live in the middle of nowhere) and back home again. She's not taking into account the fact that Hailey has to eat no later than 6:30 at night. And not to mention the fact that she bought these flowers and tilled up the ground without even asking me first if I had time this week. Which I obviously do not. I don't mind doing this for her normally...I do it every year. But when I tell her I'm busy with my own big plans, and she writes it off, well that just plain pisses me the fuck off. Excuse my language. I may be a potty mouth this post. SO...there's that issue. Then, my little brother calls tonight. Says they(him, my dad and stepmom) haven't seen Hailey FOREVER and wants to know when they can come over. This, I love(insert sarcasm HERE)...because I give them nights when I'm not busy, I give them those opportunities to come over and visit with her. A few times, they took the opportunity, but lately there's always an excuse...someone's sick(only later I find out oh no they just had allergies) or someone is depressed or blah blah blah...and then they call and make me feel bad that they don't get to see her. Like this week for instance. I told my dad Monday would be fine(before Hailey got sick)...he never called, they didn't even ask to come over, so I didn't bother calling to tell them she was sick. And now, 3 days before her party, they have my little brother call and try to guilt trip me. The thing that really ticks me off about this is, they know damn well about this party Saturday and how I'm having to bust my ass to prepare for it. But, they are Jehovah's witnesses...so, what do they do? Act like the party doesn't exist. So, why should I not have time for them when there IS NO PARTY??? Come on! I told my little brother MAYBE tomorrow night...which isn't true, I'm busy damnit! I was going to try and rush out to our family friend's house to plant her damn flowers, then rush home and get more crap done around here! So, there's that. Then, I ask my little brother if he's riding over to my house Saturday with my little sister and her boyfriend. He says he's not coming. I asked him why. He said "because we're Jehovah's Witnesses." I said to him "oh so you are now too?" I told him if he didn't want to come because he was a witness now too, then I would understand, but if dad and my stepmom are telling him he can't come and he really wants to, well then I'll be pissed. I asked to talk to my stepmom. I asked her if she told my older sister and brother about the party like I asked her to weeks ago. Because I called my grandma last night(who my stepmom was also supposed to tell--she talks to these people a LOT more than I do ok!) and she hadn't told my grandma...so I thought maybe she hadn't told my sis/bro...sure enough, she hadn't. And no she won't call them, because yet again, none of them are on speaking terms. Lord only knows why. Frankly, I don't give a shit. Anyway, I casually ask her if my little brother will be coming to the party. She says no, he won't be coming. I ask her why. She says "because, we don't celebrate birthdays." I told her fine, and I sounded very pissy, and I got off the phone. Surprisingly, they didn't call back. Sorry if you're a witness, but I think the whole not celebrating anything is complete and udder BULLSHIT. I respected it for a long time, but now they're pushing their stupid beliefs onto my grandma and little brother, and I'm just sick of it. Makes me proud to be a Baptist, hell it makes me want to go to church every Sunday and praise the Lord when I'm around them. After all, they flaunt their beliefs around me ALL THE TIME. But see, I'm a better person than that. So I'm pissed that my little brother's not coming. That really hurts. It's celebrating her first year of life, come on people! Ok...and now...I have a lady that D works with emailing me to have this Arbonne crap party, and she wants me to sell it because "It's only 29$ to get started!" Hello, do people not see me? Do I look like I use expensive facial products, or have tons of friends that would be able to afford that stuff? Sure I'd love to be able to afford it...but I can't. Leave me alone. I'm not selling it. I'm not having a party. I have no friends that would come to a party. Or buy the crap. So stop harrassing me for my time!! And the funny thing is, it's not like I have tons of friends or anything. I never see my friends but like once or twice a month!! Seriously!! I have too much damn family apparently. I love them all, but I get so tired of them pulling me in all directions. We never get family alone time, just the three of us, our little family, without somebody calling and bugging us or wanting to spend time with us. Oh and the last thing...which isn't bad, and I actually feel like I should accomodate this person...my sister's boyfriend turns 21 on Friday. And do you know what he wants to do? Ok this is a 21 year old guy, and he wants to hang out with D and I and Hailey. How can I tell him no? He's going back to Cali the 16th, then back to Iraq eventually...and he wants to spend his 21st birthday with US, of all the people he could choose to spend it with...his friends, his family...he chose us. I can't tell him no. So I told my sister to let me know what the plan is for Friday by tomorrow so I can plan when to make the cake for Hailey's party and all that. SIGH....there, there's my rant...

Now onto cuter things. A few Hailey stories, as always...

~Today the sitter put Hailey's shoes on so they could go outside, and then turned around to get something. When she turned back around Hailey was bent down digging the sitter's shoes out from under a shelf where she keeps them, and then she brought them to the sitter. She said she didn't even mention her shoes to Hailey or anything, she just went and got them and brought them to her all on her own! How stinking smart is she???
~I let Hailey watch me pee when I'm home with her. She's really learning about the whole process. She knows you pull down your pants, potty, wipe, put down the lid, say bye bye and flush. Well tonight I forgot to tell her I was going, and when she heard me peeing she ran into the bathroom and pried at my leg so she could see me pee. I was already done, but she saw it in the toilet and she said "pee pee." I'm telling you, she learns new words every day, I can't even keep up. She said it a few times "pee pee!" And then did the customary wave, bye bye, flush and then oh my she slammed the lid on her hand. I felt horrible. She cried for a minute but quit pretty quickly...she's a tough gal.
~A couple more new words that I noticed her saying really well tonight...we've been working on "nose" and "eyes"...I'll ask her where her nose is and she'll scrunch up her nose, etc...well tonight she was laying in bed with me and I asked her where her eyes are and she said "eyes" and pointed. Then I asked her nose and she said "nose" and scrunched her nose. It wasn't just a fluke, she repeated them when asked. So neat.
~Last but not least, my mom was playing with Hailey in her tent tonight and she put her finger to her mouth and said "shhh" to tell Hailey they had to be quiet. Would you believe Hailey actually did the same thing back??? She put her little finger to her lips and said "shhhh." She did it again a bunch of times for me later. It's so darn cute! And then she grabbed either side of my face and pulled me in so hard we kind of bonked heads and I got a big ol long slobbery kiss.

So there's the cuteness for the day. As far as the house cleaning is going, well it's going great. I got the whole dining room emptied out today, boxes stacked neatly in a corner of our bedroom, the floors vaccuumed, some clothes done and put away...all in all, a very productive night. And we even went out to eat at the mexican place I LOVED when I was pregnant. The last time I ate there was the time that put me into labor! And now, unfortunately, my non-preggo self doesn't find the food so tasty! Funny how that works. Wonder if I'll crave it with the next pregnancy...I guess we'll see, although I'll be afraid it'll send me into labor! HAHA!

Alright, hubby time and bed time :o)

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