Friday, August 1, 2008

So incredibly upset...

It's already started w/ my inlaws. My mother in law had told me she was too busy with work to go look at sewing machines with me and now all of a sudden since she finds out my sister in law is having a little girl she's taking her shopping at the mall tonight for little girl stuff. So much for the excuse of being too busy with work! And taking my SIL shopping for girl stuff is something my mother in law would NEVER do w/ me, no matter how many times I asked if she'd like to go look at stuff w/ me. ONE time she went w/ me and she spent the whole time looking at boy stuff and saying she needed to buy Nephew W this and that and she wouldn't look at anything I showed her for Hailey. Oh ok I take it back, ONE time she took me to Old Navy to buy Hailey clothes for her 1st birthday and all I was doing was commenting on how cute this and that was and I didn't expect her to buy anything, I was purely looking and commenting and his mom got pissy and said "I'm not made out of money you know!" SIGH I hate my inlaws, I'm just so upset. Hailey has officially been replaced, there is no allure left at all to make them care about her at all anymore. D is beyond upset and mad that they are having a girl. He told me last night that he can tell me right now exactly how it's going to be w/ Hailey now that his brother and sister in law are having a girl...and I tried to be positive and tell him he didn't know that for sure etc. and I am eating my words because already it's started. First thing this morning, not even 24 hours after they found out, and I find out his mom is already taking SIL shopping because she's so far beyond excited that this is a little girl that it's not even funny. I have prayed Hailey's whole life that the inlaws would feel that way about Hailey, because Hailey loves them to pieces but they just DON'T for some reason. I want so bad to call his mom and tell her exactly what D and I think, but I never would. My heart just breaks for Hailey. She doesn't understand why they never come see her or want to keep her overnight or why they buy the boys twice as many presents as her or anything. She notices and she cries about it, but she doesn't understand why. I am just so deeply upset for my Hailey. I could care less that they don't want to do anything with D and I. But my little sweet Hailey, my loveable perfect adorably cute little girl...why don't they like her????? That's what I want to know. WHY don't they love her?


Wendy said...

I know that I haven't been the best commenter lately, but I HAVE to comment on this one! Michael's Mom is the same way!!! Michael's sisters kids are so freakin' spoiled by her and mine are NOT:( There are way more photos of them in her house, they always sleep over, go on trips with them, she buys them gifts constantly, etc! I could go on but you get my point. UGH!! The worst part is there's nothing I can do. How do you confront someone about that? I don't even know if she realizes it. I am sorry that it's making you feel so sad:( I totally know the feeling!!! Nothing hurts worse than someone making your child feel less than perfect.

Jaime said...

Hey Erin,

As stupid as this might sound, it might not be that they don't love Hailey, it might just be how they are about your sister.

I say this because my Mom is the exact same. She dotes on my sister's kids and mine get the left overs, hand me downs, etc. Sure she'll do stuff from time to time but she always does it for my nieces.

I've learned to accept it and move on. Now when she calls unexpectedly wanting Arwen or the boys I tell her sure if the other Grandma who is around all the time, always constant and loving, doesn't ask first.

It's only fair.