Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Seriously?

I met a lady that lives in Canada on a pregnancy message board when I was newly pregnant with Hailey. We were due within a week of each other, both with our first babies, both unmarried. They're rich, and she's almost 40, her now-husband is in his 50's. I was only 22 at the time and um, NOT rich. But we still bonded over mutual aches and pains and preggo related problems. We emailed nearly daily our whole pregnancies, then our kiddos were born. We continued to email and finally started sending pictures through email and eventually even started sending Christmas cards and such through the "regular" mail. Up until just a few months ago we were still emailing almost daily. It's been a really neat friendship, even though we've never met or even talked on the phone. We've known each other for almost 3 years now. It's hard to hear her talk about getting to stay home with her boys (she had another little boy, he's 4 months old now) and see pictures of their new GIGANTICALLY HUGE house and hear of her shopping trips where she spends thousands upon thousands on furniture and decorations...but I continued to email. Then not too long ago things just got really busy and I just...stopped. I quit emailing her all the time. A lot of time went by and we hadn't emailed each other. I don't know if we just don't have anything in common anymore? I have a little girl, I'm still young and poor, rent our house, etc. etc. They are done having kids, she has 2 boys, they're rich...and our kids aren't really anything alike either. Recently we started emailing again, a few times a week. I thought it was great til an email exchange this morning that really hurt my feelings.

Me:
This morning Hailey didn't want to leave the house. She ran away from me when I tried to put her coat on. She ran into the living room and threw herself down on her little fold out couch, SO dramatic! I knelt down next to her and she told me "No Mommy, go away! Don't touch me!" AAH you gotta love little drama queens! LOL I had to try and get her shoes on anyway and didn't notice til she was walking out the front door that they were on the wrong feet! Quite a morning...

I thought this was totally cute and hilarious! Apparently she didn't agree...here is her response...

Her:
I always make the mistake of putting M's shoes on wrong and N(her husband) always notices and fixes them. Oh, no, I wouldn't love a drama queen. When my nieces act girly and whiny it makes me cringe. Just like when M does his demanding scream. I can't tolerate drama or negativity. Maybe that's because M has been rather bad these past few days. He looks us in the eye and throws whatever we give him first before he picks it up again to eat or use. What's up with that??? And this going to the fridge every half hour to demand that we open it up so he can pick something out is driving me nuts. I guess I just don't like upheaval. I'm more of a peace and quiet lover and would like it if he were a book worm studious kid in the future but with my luck he'll be wild. Also, I have to be the disciplinarian. N is soft all the way and that irks me too. Lately, there are times when M can be a real smart ass. Last night I put him in his room twice and closed the door because he thought he'd be able to dictate what we could watch on TV by yelling his head off. It was awful, Erin, awful.

Maybe she's just having a bad day, or maybe I'm taking it wrong. But I can't seem to find a response to this without saying something really rude and mean. Hailey is not a drama queen, nor is she a whiny little girl. I know of little boys FAR whinier than Hailey. And saying when her nieces act girly it makes her cringe??? This lady is very feminine, how can a little girl acting girly make her cringe?

I'm just really irritated and my feelings are hurt. My daughter is not annoying. She has her times where she's just downright bad, but hello she's almost 2, she's a toddler! All of our friends love Hailey to pieces. They're always wanting to hold her and kiss and hug her. Maybe it's because this lady's never met Hailey... who knows. :o( My feelings are just really hurt..

3 comments:

Mof2 said...

I can see how this response could upset you. She could have meant it either way really. From an outsiders point of view, I don't think she meant anything by it. But, I am with you, I know boys that are far whinier then my own kids. And I have two girls! Boys can be just as bad. And if M was a girl, I am sure the way he is acting lately she would deam him as acting like a drama queen. But, since he is a boy, she won't call it that. If you are really great friends, I would just let it go and think nothing of it. If y'all aren't that great. Write her back and tell her that H is not a drama queen all the time that she has moments because of the age she is and that the way she has described the way that M has acted lately, she seems to have more of a little drama queen her hands then you!

Kristin said...

I wouldn't take it personally.

And with the girly stuff making her cringe? I can say that as a mom of a boy & probably another boy, you get comfortable with what you know. Girls are VERY different than boys. Fun, but very different.

AND...boys can be a whole lot more whiny. Logan is a prime example of that.

Kayce said...

I agree with everyone else. She probably saw the words "drama queen" in your e-mail and took off with it, not thinking about how she was essentially calling your baby girl a drama queen. My wonderful son is a great example of a drama queen if I've ever seen one. I think it's a toddler thing. And yes, it's weird for moms of boys to see little girls and connect the same way. I'm weirded out by my little nieces who are only a few months old. They're exactly the same as boys--but totally different at the same time.