Monday, August 24, 2009

Is there anybody out there?


After contemplating FO EVA what to do about this here bloggy thing, I guess I'm back.

WOW has my life ever changed.
After my last post things started going really downhill. I just couldn't handle everything, working 40 hrs a week, taking care of Hailey by myself since D was never home to help (or didn't help when he was home), all the stress of my family, financial stress etc. etc. etc. Something had to happen. I was at my breaking point. I was struggling just to make it through each day. Finally, something drastic did happen. I was fired from my job May 15 because I'd been less than 5 minutes late one too many times. No matter the salaried people (including my boss) were often later than myself. OH WELL. Whatever. I'm over it. For appx. 1.5 months I was blissfully happy. Being a stay at home mom was great. Then my husband was laid off from his job because in today's economy, less and less people can afford things like landscaping their yard. And I'm not gonna lie, every week is a struggle. Some better than others. D and I are trying really hard to make our marriage work, and it hasn't been going well at all. We're on another upswing, thanks to my telling myself daily to be more positive and make the best of things. That's all I can do. At least I'm not working anymore, so I can rest when I need to and have more energy for housework and Hailey. I actually cook meals now, take Hailey to the park...and D's looking for jobs. He found out today an application to the university around here was accepted, FINALLY, for a research position...I'm praying that works out well. Anyhoot...

Just a few pretty big things that have happened since my last post...
~In March I took a trip to Cali all by myself, to visit my lil sister. I flew for the first time EVER...all that worrying all my life, of my fear of heights and claustrophibia making me not able to was all for nothing! The minute that plane started to take off, I felt nothing but excitement. It was an absolute thrill. I would fly again tomorrow. I loved it.
I flew into LAX. Never thought in a million years I'd be in LA. Let alone flying into the LAX. Awesome.
I saw the ocean for the first time in CA...Redando Beach. Loved it.
And I also got my first tattoo (Hailey's initials). All around amazing that I will never forget.
~D and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary in June. We took Hailey to the Zoo and took her up in the Arch for the first time, which she loved. It was a good day, overall. In September, we will have been together 10 years. (Side note: my cousin's little girl who I swear was JUST a baby a couple years ago, is turning 16 this week. That's how old I was when I started dating D. And now S is turning 16, and somehow that realization is making me feel SUPER duper old!)
~A couple weeks ago I drove a bajillion miles with my cousin in tow, all the way from Mid-MO where I live to 29 Palms, CA to pick up my sister. We made the trip in 2 days, stopping at a hotel to sleep one night in Tucumcari, NM. We drove through Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and finally into California. I never want to drive through mountains again. We drove back to Mid-MO after sleeping one night at my sister's. She did most of the driving this time, thank God. We took a different route this time, through Las Vegas which was too cool, Utah (we stopped briefly in Salina to TRY to sleep in a hotel parking lot...we failed to get any rest, and I was suffering from it pretty bad...I hurt something HORRIBLE). I don't think I've ever been so happy to see the sun as I was after that hellish nigh in Utah... Riding through Colorado was absolutely awesome. Amazingly BEAUTIFUL. We stopped in a little town right outside of Vail, and I seriously didn't wanna leave. The little rest stop was right by a mountain about amazing. I took over the driving in Denver, but only lasted a couple hours into Kansas. I was just beat. The trip home took a toll on our bodies and our relationships with each other. It was an experience, to say the least. But I'm proud to say I did it. I got to see some amazing places I never thought I'd ever get to see. I visited 7 new states (wow!) and even got to see the lights of Vegas! It was definitely an amazing life experience.
Somewhere in Utah
I'll end with a beautiful picture of Colorado.
I'll be around more from now on, promise...


bluedaisy said...

I've been wondering about you and if everything is okay...glad you posted :) (Not to sound like your mother-sorry!). Sorry to hear that things have been so tough. Keeping my fingers crossed that something works out job-wise for D. 2008 was a horrible year for us financially so I feel you on the stress factor. Your trips sound fantastic- what great experiences. Thinking positive thoughts for you!

Wendy said...

Hey girl! I was shocked to see a comment from you on my blog:) Glad you are back!! Sounds like you've had a busy and stressful couple of months. I'm really sorry to hear about that. Hopefully things will start to look up for you.