Uncertainty

Well I'm giving D the option of marriage counseling. He's always said no to it in the past, so I can't see why now would be any different. But I'm so so tired of dealing with this. It's affecting me physically. I'm so stressed I'm getting sick every day now. I've tried not letting it bother me, but the past couple days have been bad. I just can't ignore the fact that it's still not working.

We have no money, and he knows this. Yet he continues to eat out every day for lunch, even though he just bought a nice new cooler to take his lunches in...he's too lazy to make his lunch before he goes to bed and won't get up early enough to make it in the mornings. So we're going to overdraw our account, because he's lazy. Which is nothing new. I've dealt with this every single semester he's been in school. So now he comes home last night and tells me we need to save up $375 for this golf trip to CA which the school can't pay all of the expenses for...I calmly told him to call his dad and ask him for the money because we haven't even paid our property taxes yet. He then proceeded to tell me that he sold a book that day for $45 so he's putting that towards the golf trip. Because I didn't want to fight, I didn't bring up the fact that he KNOWS we're going to overdraw our account, so shouldn't he give me the money for bills and whatnot...I just left it at that. But then today he calls and yells at me that he NEEDS knew windshield wipers. He can't see at all. I couldn't on the way to work this morning either...but he had to PULL OVER for Christ sakes! I told him to get wipers then. But I thought about it, and called him back, and told him to use the 45$ from his book sale for his wipers. And what does he say? "NO! That's for the trip!" Ok, so we're going to overdraw our account for some wipers and pay OD fees. How the hell does that make any sense!??!

Is this normal??? I really need to know...does everyone have to deal with crap like this, or is my husband really the huge idiot I think he is!??! I don't have money to buy groceries, but thank GOD he's got 45$ sitting in his wallet to put towards his golf trip...

Am I over reacting here? I'm starting to feel more and more inclined to get things set up for divorce...getting my credit cards paid off (if he'd ever quit blowing what little extra money we have), putting some money in savings to help with the bills when he's gone...because we all know there's no way in hell I'm getting child support from his sorry ass. How could I, without him having a steady job. Because I'm SO not counting on this whole stupid caddy position in Florida to really happen...and he wouldn't be making squat doing it anyway.

:( Today sucks...