Fall

I was sitting there reading at my mom's house on my lunch break today, and I could hear the wind blowing outside and dead leaves rustling around on the ground. It felt like fall. Then I remembered that it's blistering hot outside, like an oven. I cannot wait for fall, I LOVE it! This heat is sapping all my energy. It's making me so tired. My energy is always renewed when fall comes around. I love the cooler air, being able to open up the house and air it out. Being able to drive around with the windows down. Spending time outside in general! I really miss that!

So confused

My dad called me last night at 8:40. He knows that's past Hailey's bedtime. I've been very irritated at him lately anyway, for calling all the time and getting so angry when I don't answer my phone or don't hear my phone ringing. That is the problem with this day and age. People think they should be able to get ahold of you NO MATTER WHAT, AT ALL TIMES. Ok it doesn't work that way people. If I don't feel like answering the phone, or don't feel like talking to anybody, damnit I'm not answering my phone. My dad, just because he's my dad, thinks he should be an exception to this. Which really pisses me off. I could go on and on about the issues my dad has, but I'm not going to...I'll just say this...he is insane. He literally has mental problems. He makes everyone's life a living hell. He is the reason I have "issues" and he is the sole reason for all the bad things that happened in my childhood. So, now that you know what a wonderful person he is...back to my gripe about last night. He calls at 8:40. I answer because I don't want him to keep calling, because I'm about to put Hailey to bed. I already had a bad stomachache for some reason, and he just made it worse. He called to let me know that he had heard a comment that was made and he wanted me to know that if I make fun of Jehovah's.Witnesses I'm making fun of the family. ?????????? Did I mention he's insane? This came out of NOWHERE. I haven't said a word. He talks non freaking stop about this whole Jehovah's Witness deal. That's all I hear about. I don't ever talk about it. EXCEPT this weekend. On the phone last night, he told me the comment involved someone saying something about seeing a lot of people w/ badges around town this weekend. He is so STUPID. I told him "Dad, I am the one that told you that this weekend! When I was on the phone with you while I was in Walmart trying to grocery shop!! You had mentioned how many thousands of people were at the convention this weekend, and I told you my mom saw a bunch of people in Dillard's w/ badges on and she figures something must be going on in town this weekend!" He just kind of stopped and said "Well I'm not pushing anything on you"....he was making no sense and it was really pissing me off. He called, accusing me of making fun of them, because of some comment he "heard," and it was me who made the freaking comment to him in the first place...and in no way was it making fun of ANYBODY. I am so SICK of my family. I'm sick of them discussing me behind my back I.E. my sister telling my dad he'll never watch Hailey overnight because of all the bad things that happen at their house OR my grandma telling my dad I said somebody at the Kingdom Hall said something rude to me when I went to watch my dad talk. First of all, yes I won't let them watch her for that reason, and noone said anything to me at the Kingdom Hall...my grandma should not be spreading rumors, but that's not the point. The point is, WHY ARE THEY DISCUSSING ME???? Why am I such a hot topic? Why is everybody always trying to get me involved in the drama by lying or saying things they need to keep their mouth shut about???? I am so tired of it. I have pulled so far away from them, and they've noticed. I never call them anymore, my grandma included. Which is sad, because when I was little I idolized my grandma. Now I see what my mom was always saying, she really is just a nutty old woman. And that's so sad, for that vision I had of her as a little girl, to be squashed by the reality that is HER now that I'm an adult and not so naive. I shouldn't let this bother me, but damnit it does. It bothers me that my dad thinks nothing of calling me at 3:00 in the morning and waking me up, to tell me it was NOT in face a woman in his truck when my sister and I saw him out late at night after he and my stepmom had gotten in a fight...and concocting some long story about how it was his friend blah blah blah. What none of them understand is...I DON'T CARE!! I know that sounds cold and heartless of me, but I don't give a crap if he is or isn't cheating on my stepmom. I don't care if they're fighting. I don't care if they're Jehovah's Witnesses or not. I don't care if my sister isn't taking care of her kids, and her kids are being horrible. I don't care that they have no money because they're NOT WORKING, I just freaking DON'T CARE. I know this sounds bad, but it will be such a relief when my dad dies. Yes, I will miss him being he is my dad after all. And yes, the family will fall apart. But good God, I will not miss the violence and manipulation that is his life. And I will not miss being hounded NON STOP about becoming a Witness. I am Baptist, I have always been Baptist. I respect his beliefs, he needs to respect mine. And it's so comforting to know that he thinks we're "all going to burn in hell for not being Witnesses and he doesn't care!" Why can't I just have a normal dad???????????? Sorry to unload all this, but I really needed to get it off my chest.

Cleanliness

Yesterday I went to the next town over to visit my good friend. She recently quit working to be a SAHM of her 3 kids. I can really tell a difference in her mood, she’s much happier, much friendlier to the kids. From what I can tell, there are four good things that came out of Hailey and I going for a visit.

1. Hailey had a blast playing with her kids. She’s got 2 boys, ages 6 and 3, and a little girl that’s 7 months. Hailey ran around like crazy with the boys and got into tickle fights and even ate some chicken bites and ketchup with them. She loved it there, she made herself right at home.

2. I made my friend happy. She’s always trying to get me to come down on the weekends, but I’m generally too busy to drive that far out of my way and I always have other stuff I need to be doing (or sorry to say, that I’d rather be doing—like spending time playing with Hailey at home).

3. I got my $50 back that I loaned her when I had some extra money. Now she has extra money, and I needed it back pretty bad.

4. Bless her heart, her house is a disaster. The last good thing that came out of visiting her, was the strong urge to go home and clean my house and my child. I put Hailey down for a nap when we got home and went to work organizing all the clothes in our bedroom. I threw a ton of old stuff away, got 2 laundry baskets and 1 hamper cleaned out (including being wiped down with Clorox wipes—not that they needed it, but I’m a germaphobe). I organized my clothes into piles—a pile of clothes that I wore after I had Hailey, so they’re all way too big for me now…I’m going to pack those away with my maternity clothes. A pile of clothes that are sentimental to me, that I need to pack away. I got quite a few things hung up, and I found quite a few more shirts and pants for my niece that are way too small for me now. It felt so good to just get the little bit that I did done. And one thing is for sure…I will never, NEVER feel bad about my house again. My house may be a tiny bit cluttered. But it’s not dirty by ANY means, and there aren’t piles of trash and crap everywhere. We just need more storage space. I feel so much better about my house now. And I feel really bad for my friend!

Speaking of house cleaning. Saturday my living room had clean clothes all over the floor, there were clean dishes in the dishwasher that needed unloading and dirty dishes in the sink that needed to be loaded into the dishwasher. I needed to vacuum. And about 10 million other things including laundry. I felt like my house was a disaster. And it was TOO STINKING HOT in there to do anything about it. I laid on the couch, because the heat is just sucking the energy right out of me. Hailey slept til 9, and then she watched Shrek and we read books. When she went down for a nap at 12:15 I thanked God and laid back down myself. She only slept for an hour though, but it was just enough to give me a bit of energy. My mom came over after she got off work and we went to eat. We didn’t get to the library in time, they close so early on Saturdays! So that was a bummer, but we’ll try to take her next weekend. My husband got home while we were gone, he’d played in a tournament that day. Hailey and I got home about 7 or so, and I about died when I walked in the house. It smelled nice and clean…the floor was clean…laundry was done…kitchen was clean, dishes were clean, and my husband was griping at me with a huge smile on his face to put my clothes away(haha, I am always griping at him for this!) He had been so busy cleaning that whole time. Ok we all know my husband doesn’t usually do SQUAT around the house, so this is amazing. I was so stressed to come home to my disaster of a house and I came home and it was ALL DONE, and I didn’t even have to ask him to do it!!! Amazing. Last night he even cooked us dinner while I was putting Hailey to sleep! I don’t know what’s gotten into him.

This heat is ridiculous. Over 100 degrees w/ heat indexes up to 107 and 110??? It’s crazy. Our air conditioner has been running NON STOP and we only have it set on 76 or 77! Yesterday it was 81 degrees in our house. I finally broke down and called the emergency maintenance number. They sent somebody from an air company over and the guy cleaned out our air conditioner and changed the filter and said other than that everything’s fine. Um, yea, it’s definitely NOT fine when it’s that hot in our house and it’s running constantly and the air isn’t being pushed out of the vents! Basically, our air conditioner is too small for our house. It would be fine for the little 900 sqft apt. we used to have, but not for 1200 sqft of open house. I’ve been keeping all the blinds and curtains closed to shut out the heat and it’s still been crazy hot. We’ve had the ceiling fans and the regular fans going in the front part of the house during the day. Thank God we don’t have to be there today. I only hope I can get it cooled down enough once I get home today to be able to cook dinner. I have a mountain of laundry to do since I cleaned out our bedroom yesterday (all the clothes I had packed away that I can now wear I feel like I need to wash first). But I can’t run the dryer because of this heat! It’s supposed to be even worse this week than it was last week.

I’m loving toddlerhood. Hailey’s tantrums are getting fewer and farther between now--the occasional tantrum lately is usually due to the fact that we still cannot go outside becuase of this heat and she wants to play outside so badly! Hopefully this decline in tantrums continues. She’s learning more and more words every day to let us know what’s going on in her little head. Her new things this weekend were “I see….” As in her talking non stop about the hot air balloon we saw Friday night. “I see balloon!! Balloon?? I see balloon??” Because it went behind some trees. I explained to her “The balloon went bye bye, it’s hiding behind the trees.” She said “Bye bye balloon.” And then she was asking to see it again. This went on for 2 days. She always wants to “Read books mommy! Read books!” She also learned “Got it” this weekend. I was looking for her lotion and I said “Got it!” when I found it. So she went around the rest of the weekend saying “Got it!” when she’d find something. She knows up and down, on and off, in and out, hot, warm and cold. She knows all her body parts, including her butt which I think is funny because we’ve never “taught” her that part. And it’s so nice because she can entertain herself now. On one hand, I’ve been feeling sort of down about this lately…here I plan to actually PLAY with her all weekend, and other than reading books she pretty much just does her own thing unless she comes up for a cuddle and a smooch. I am feeling like she needs me less and less these days. But on the other hand, it’s nice because I can actually take a shower while she’s watching her movie or reading her books now. I don’t have to wait til she’s napping or have somebody watch her! This means showers more often for me now, YAY! I love this stage she’s in so much that I really don’t think I want to have another baby for a while. I want to enjoy Hailey as much as I can and spend some good one on one time with her before we add another member to the family. Right now, I’m really enjoying all the time I get to spend with her, and I’m loving her “nose kisses”!! (this is what she calls Eskimo kisses) :o) She's just such a good little kid!

Oh and I almost forgot, I've LOST my check book. And I can't find the rest of my checks! They're not where I have always kept them for the last 5 years or so!! I need to pay a couple bills, including the sitter, and have no checks! So that's a pain in my butt.

Going for a record...3 posts in one day!

I got this from Christina off Prince Vince Meets the World...so funny!

This rating was determined based on the following words in my blog: Crap, Hurt and Poop.

Ramblings

I have no social skills. The problem with this is, I’m not one of those people that doesn’t realize they have no social skills and can go about their life thinking they rock. I KNOW I have no social skills, therefore I feel pretty uncomfortable in social situations where I don’t know the people very well. I always feel like I’m the oddball. I say the wrong things at the wrong times. I gesture with my hands at the wrong times while I’m talking. It’s so weird, to KNOW I’m doing these things and KNOW they make me feel like a complete nerd, and not be able to change/control them! And it’s even weirder when I have a rare moment where I say and do everything right, where I can think of just the right things to say and people don’t look at me like I’m annoying…and I feel great, like “wow Erin, good job, pat on the back!!” Then I turn right around and say something stupid and ruin the whole “cool” feeling. I’m not a nerd, really. I have problems thinking sometimes. Like just now, there’s a word I’m trying to think of that I cannot think of for the life of me. It’s right there on the tip of my tongue, but yet it’s like I’ve never heard the word before in my life. This happens to me ALL THE TIME. Or I’ll mix words up. Or first letters of words. I think the connections in my brain are all crisscrossed or something. I ALWAYS call McDonald’s “Walmart”…I have no idea why. It’s incredibly frustrating. I’m thinking McDonald’s in my head but it comes out a different word. That happens with a lot of words. And letters too…the other day I couldn’t say Hailey and Caden in the same sentence. Caden is her best friend. I was trying to tell my mom something. It would always come out Haden and Cailey. Even if I tried to say them one at a time. I eventually gave up and just went on without saying names. I don’t know what the deal is! I also have problems with things like getting from point A to point B in my own town. Before I moved to the South side of town, I never really went there much except to look at the pretty Christmas lights in this rich neighborhood with really interesting houses or to shop. I could never take anybody to any of those places myself, because even though I’d been there how many times, I couldn’t connect the roads together in my head to figure out how to get there. I would think about it forever and it never made sense. Then D would take us and it would seem so easy and I’d think…”Why in the world couldn’t I figure this out??” It’s not that I just don’t know where I’m going. I do. I’ve lived in this town practically my whole life. It’s that same feeling I get when I’m trying to talk sometimes…like things just aren’t connecting in my head right. Is that what being dyslexic is like?? It’s getting to the point where it’s affecting my life a bit. I can’t remember what days I’ve made plans to do what. I’ll have this nagging feeling that I was supposed to do something on Wednesday, and I’ll never remember what it was…was I supposed to call somebody? Pick up my heart pills? (Oh yea, I need to do that TONIGHT! I’m out again…) Was somebody coming over? The only thing I can keep 100% straight is Hailey. For a long time I attributed my problems to Mommy Brain. But the truth is, this was going on long before Hailey was even conceived. It started to get really bad when I started highschool and as the years go on it’s just getting worse. Sometimes I feel like I’m falling apart. I’m incredibly optimistic about dealing with all my “issues” and still living a very happy and fulfilling life, so that’s good. But I just can’t believe all these problems I seem to have, and I’m worried about passing them on to my kids. I’m hoping by giving my kids a good up-bringing I can over-ride the bad genes I’ve passed on to them!! Does that work?? I know already that Hailey has my anger issues, that’s apparent. And I think we’re dealing with that well. She’s just a toddler so we’ll have to wait and see if she has the depression issues like I do, going through the highs and lows. Does OCD pass on? God I hope not. I’ve really tired to curb that problem now that she’s getting older, because I don’t want her to pick up on my weird quirks. I’m not sure how that all works. The problem with me is, I have all these issues, physical and emotional, and I don’t know much about any of them. I’ve always just tried to ignore the problem, deal with it as best as I could, and for the most part act like I'm perfectly fine. But now that I have Hailey these problems are really frustrating, because aside from my hip problem that I researched in full while I was pregnant because of the strong chance of me passing it on to Hailey, I don’t know enough about them to know how to deal with them properly and make sure I know what to watch out for with her, like warning signs etc…I don’t know what has the potential to be passed on genetically or just from a learned behavior from watching me. And I don’t have the time nor the money to go to all these different doctors to figure it all out, which is incredibly frustrating. And I know plenty of people see psychologists or psychiatrists or whatever, but going to one myself somehow feels like I’ve failed. Like admitting finally to the world that I’m messed up and can’t handle it on my own. I think moreso than that, I would feel like I was finally admitting I’m just like the rest of my family on my dad’s side…they are all majorly screwed up, like trying to kill themselves and on all kinds of antidepressants(there is nothing wrong with this if you need it, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of THOSE people…) when I don’t think they really need them, fighting w/ each other all the time, not working and on disability for made up problems and issues, they just all have really bad lives, they FEED off of drama. Even though I know I’m not like them, I want SO BAD for people not to see me as being like them that I try to act the complete opposite, like I have no issues whatsoever and I’m completely normal and nothing like them.

And here we are, I have rambled on a long paragraph about how messed up I am, and do you know what we’ve accomplished???? I’ve FINALLY remember the word I couldn’t think of. Inadequate. My social skills are inadequate. Wait. Maybe that’s not the right word, because it doesn’t work in the context I needed to use it in. Crap. Here we go again!! Socially inept? Does that make sense? Is that even a word?? Jeez. Ok I’ll stop rambling now. I just feel like I’m the only “normal” person in this world with issues. And I’m incredibly frustrated not knowing how to handle all this.

Despite all the crap I just wrote, I really am having a good day so far and in good spirits. It’s Friday, yay! A whole weekend w/ Hailey! She was extra clingy again this morning, and I was loving it to be honest. I miss her horribly every second I’m away from her. I’m hating this working mom thing more and more every day, and I’m feeling very positive about working towards my goal of being a SAHM one of these days.

Ok I'm tired of blogging for now.

I am so stinking proud!!

You will not believe what Hailey did tonight! I have this book that was MY very first book ever from when I was a baby. It's a book called My Puppy, by Florence Sarah Winship. Well when I was getting ready to read to Hailey tonight to put her to bed, she was sitting on her bedroom floor and picked up this book. I asked her to please read it to mommy. And she did! I mean not word for word, but she would turn to each page and say something along the lines of what each page said! Like the first page says "He can run." and she said "He run"...then the next page says "He can play" and it's got a little ducky on it so she said "He can pay duck". Then she turned the page and it says "He can bark." so she said "He bark"...then at the very end it just says My Puppy and she said that! I am not kidding! I am so excited. I mean I know she obviously most likely isn't looking at the words and reading them of course, I mean she is only 16 months old..but she remembers what each page SAYS. She's not just naming things on the pages, she's actually remembering what each page says from what I read to her. Now I know how my dad felt when I could recite each page of Chicken Little when I was 3. He swore up and down I could read. And I just think it's so special that she loves this book so much, when it was my first book and I've took such great care over the years even when I was little, to save this book for my kids. How neat is that??

I've always hated it when people call it "Hump Day"

In the hallway by my office there’s a sink area. I think of it as the “plant spa”…yes I am aware I’m a huge nerd. But there’s always a plant sitting there, soaking up the water. For some reason, each of the plants in the office get to spend some time in this sink about once a week. Somehow, it rejuvenates them. It’s nice and dark and quiet and moist. Every time I walk by and see a little plant sitting there in the sink it makes me smile. Yes I am easily entertained, and I enjoy the little things in life. :o)

On a more serious note…you know that bridge that collapsed? It’s been all over the news lately. Well my husband drove across that bridge every time he went to Canada. It just makes it more real somehow, knowing that he’s actually been on that very bridge. I haven’t been a lot of places, we’ve never traveled…I’ve never seen mountains or the ocean or a huge city…it’s just hard for me to see things on TV and really comprehend the magnitude of what happened or what’s going on, when I haven’t experienced anything like that before. Does everybody have that problem?? Maybe it’s just me…anyway when he told me that it really bothered me for some reason. And I’ve been thinking about it lately. The whole situation only made my fear of bridges worse, esp. now that I know he was actually on that very bridge at different points in his life. Anyway it’s just been bugging me lately…

Hailey hugged my legs this morning so tight at the sitters and wouldn’t let go. I was late to work because of this. A whole 6 minutes late. I had to pry her off. I absolutely hate the fact that I have to feel bad about being 6 minutes late to work, when the reason was because of my daughter hugging me. That’s just not right.

I’ve started to think about fall clothes/shoes for Hailey. I ordered her a shirt from Old Navy because I thought it was too cute to pass up. I ordered one for myself while I was at it, since it was on sale.

Hailey's shirt:



My shirt:



I also ordered a couple things from LTD. This cute calendar that I can personalize every month w/ a photo was only 4.95...



And I LOVE this bench for Hailey's room! It was only like 27.95...



When I woke up this morning the sky was overcast, and I actually got really excited thinking it might storm and give us a break from this horrible heat! But on the way to work my hopes were smashed when the radio announced there wouldn’t be any storms in this area…and then went on to say the high for today is 99 w/ a heat index of 107. Seriously it’s getting a bit ridiculous…my flowers are all almost fried. One pot is completely brown and crunchy. I water them at least once a night. Sometimes twice. The grass is all hard and stiff. The sidewalk drawings from the neighbor kids from over a week and a half ago are STILL THERE on my front porch. I’m daydreaming constantly of fall and winter. Even snow! This heat has got to end soon. It’s even too hot to swim.

Ups and downs

Today's annoyances:

~At lunch my co-worker kept pushing and prodding and mixing and smashing his salad all over his plate while eating. Drove me a bit nutty. Just eat the salad and get it over with. It was like a salad mash by the time he was done. My mom does this too, but not quite as bad.

~It's hot as a crotch outside.

~My pee smells like the nasty tasting antibiotic pill that I'm on to get rid of the icky strep I had last week. Nothing like having to smell/taste the pill as it's going in and then smelling that same smell every time I go pee...

~I have a HUGE zit on my forehead. I'm 24, when are the breakouts supposed to stop, seriously? Nothing helps. And this one freaking hurts. It makes me feel icky, to walk around with a big ol zit on my forehead.

~My boss mentioned the fact that I get here about 5 to 10 mins. late every day by slipping it into a general conversation we were having about our kids...wouldn't have irritated me except it totally caught me off guard since we were talking about our kids, and then right after that she walked off...like she was only talking to me til she got up the courage to remind me to get here on time.

~The fact that I HAVE to get here right at 7:30 now, not 7:35, bugs me...because I'm not a morning person at ALL, and when they all get here in the morning they clog up the break room all chit-chatting about their nights etc. and if I just walk through to clock in and go straight to my desk people start to hate me. So I generally enjoy Hailey making me late to work every day, so I can avoid this conflict altogether. Now I have to come up with a new plan and force Hailey to get even less sleep than she already is...

Good things about today:

~As I was looking at my big ol zit in the bathroom mirror at work, I noticed that I have really pretty natural highlights in my hair!!

~The work day is 3/4 of the way over with.

~I'm feeling way more positive about the upcoming months because we won't be under such financial strain as we have been in the past, which means since tomorrow is payday I can go grocery shopping tonight! Then I get to go home and put the groceries away in my CLEAN kitchen that I worked so hard on last night!

~I have begun counting down the months til D graduates, and lately each day that goes by feels one day closer to freedom for me. I have decided I will not be unhappy forever, that once he gets a job I'm doing what will make me happy FINALLY.

~My husband stuck up for me today. This hasn't happened often in the past. Last night our 2 neighbors two houses down were out front in their SUV w/ their music thumping so loud it was vibrating in my house. Then they started to lay on the horn. It pissed me off. We were trying to get Hailey settled down for the evening! So I opened my front door and yelled at them "Come ON, other people live here too!!" And soon after they left. D told me on the phone today that our new neighbor yelled to him this morning "Hey --our last name-- what was your woman yelling at me for last night??" D recognized the guy but couldn't remember his name--we went to school with him, great. He actually stuck up for me and told the guy "I don't know but I'm sure if she was yelling at you for being loud it was because she was trying to get my daughter to bed!!" And the guy said "Oh, well yea I guess that would be a good reason." I hope it made him feel like a jack ass for being so rude. Anyway, D told me to stay away from the guy. I thought he looked familiar, and we put two and two together and realized it's a guy from highschool that was rumored to have beat up his girlfriend. Nice. If I need to, believe me, I will complain to the Association about him. So yea I guess that was both a gripe and a good thing, all rolled into one.

Sticky

It's HOT outside. The kind of hot where you walk outside and feel like you've just walked into an oven. It's hard to breathe. It feels like suffocating. Tonight, I'm shaving my legs...it's capris for me the rest of the week.

So here's a brief rundown of last week:

Monday: Hailey has a rash on her feet that she insists I itch when I get her up in the morning. I obviously can't take her to the sitter since it may be something contagious. Dr. appt. not til 11:45...just great. So I take the whole day off. He says it's a sweat rash, she's fine, even though I tell him she was exposed to strep last week--a 2 yr. old girl, her only symptoms being a rash and a fever...

Tuesday: Hailey goes back to the sitter. All seems well with the world. My MIL takes Hailey and I shopping for a scrapbook and accessories for our 1 year wedding anniversary(so excited about this, although I have next to no ideas whatsoever--Help Wendy!!) When we get home, I discover although she's acting fine, Hailey's running a fever.

Wednesday: Hailey's fever is almost 103, I make another dr. appt for sometime this morning. MAKE them do a strep test. Dr. says if he went to Vegas he'd bet money on her NOT having strep. 10 minutes later he comes back in the room and says "Well, that's why we do the test, she's got strep"...thank you--I'm sorry but a mother knows...and here my husband was so pissed at me for making them swab her throat when he just KNEW she didn't have it because the Dr. said she didnt. Anyway, they gave her a prescription for Keflex and sent us on our way. I made myself a dr. appointment to have a strep test done. It came up negative.

Thursday: She's still not any better. More time off work. I'm thinking my throat is starting to hurt a bit.

Friday: I'm in full blown strep. By this evening I can barely breathe. I called the dr. and they called me in a prescription. My mom was supposed to take Hailey to her house to give me time to rest. I wouldn't let her leave though, because D wasn't home and I was seriously afraid my throat was going to swell even more and I wouldn't be able to breathe. After a vaporizor and massive doses of medicine and hot tea I could breathe again although I still hurt like hell ALL OVER. By this evening Hailey's fever is gone.

This weekend was...a horrible weekend. I don't even feel like posting about it. Hailey's fine, although Saturday her rash blew up and it's now covering her whole body. D kept her home this morning and the dr. office called me back saying they changed their minds and DO in fact want to see her to make sure it's not a reaction to her medicine. My mom's taking her, seeing as how I have no more time off work left after last week. And MY.HEAD.IS.POUNDING. Tonight I have to do massive amounts of laundry. I have a mountain in my bathroom, bedroom and kitchen(as that's where the laundry facilities are)...I do not know how we make so much laundry, seeing as how we're just a little family of 3. I have decided when we get to be a family of 5 or so, I am investing in a 2nd washer/dryer set. :o)

Even under the circumstances I'm trying to have a positive outlook on the week. Thursday at lunch I should be able to start to read Harry Potter, since we're back to 1 hour lunches again at work. I'm going to slowly start going through all the clutter in my house and weeding it out, along with all of our clothes.

Hailey has been talking up a storm, as usual. She continues to amaze us every day, with the new words she says and how she strings sentences together seemingly out of nowhere. She's doing really well with the words "I, he, me, my" etc. She'll say "he my papa" and things of that sort. She's also saying something that sounds like "It's a..." as in "It's a airplane!" It's amazing to me that she can pick these words/phrases up just from hearing others talk, and then without needing any explanation whatsoever on the meaning, use them correctly. She's loving telling me "get up!"(while tugging on my sleeve or pant leg) while I'm trying to sit on my butt for ONCE. She's still doing great with her new bedtime routine, although we've cut out the toothbrushing for now. She continues to fall asleep every night while being read to, and she is even letting me read long books/stories to her now which I'm loving. And she seems to love all the same books I did as a little girl, so it's really neat to be able to take my old books and experience them all over again through her eyes. She's also working on physical movements. She loves brushing her hair, exclaiming "pretty hair!" and along with running she's also learned to stretch and march and stand on one foot(we're working on her balance on this one). Her Curious Buddies movie Let's Move has really taught her a lot of that stuff. Last night while one of the songs was playing we were in the bathroom brushing her hair(because she had gotten the brush out of the drawer) and she started doing the movements to the song! She wasn't even looking at the TV screen and just by the words she knew what to do. This was the first time I have ever seen her do that. It says "Shaka shake your hands hands hands" and she did that, and then it says something like "shake your hands down low low low, how low can you go go go, do the shakorama go go go" and she bent over and started shaking them by the floor...and then it says "shake your hands up high high high, way up to the sky sky sky" etc. and she did that too. And then the same with her feet, head, and body. This was just one of those things that really struck me...wow she's a KID now!

Strep Throat

Hailey and I have strep throat, so we've been home sick all week. Hopefully we'll be better by Monday and be able to get back to our normal routine. She's been on antibiotics for 2 days now and her fever is finally going down...my throat just started to swell today so I can't even eat, but my dr. finally called me in a prescription so hopefully I'll be on the mend as well soon. We're SO ready to be better and able to have fun again!!!