Summertime, and the living's easy...

Jumping on my sister's trampoline with my little bro... (her hat says "Silly boys, fishing is for girls!")

Tubing with her Daddy...

I love these shoes, but MAN do they hurt my feet!!

Wall E

I'm thinking about taking Hailey to see WALL E this weekend if we have the time or energy after all the packing we have to do. It's rated G. She's only been to one movie theater movie, and she did really well except for the last 20 minutes...Surf's Up was not her fav. movie ever apparently because she got bored and played in front of our seats for a little bit. I'm afraid we'll get there and she won't like the movie this time and want to leave. Well, I'm afraid she'll want to leave after her popcorn is gone anyway...the girl will sit still for popcorn any day!

Swimming Lessons

I am super super excited!! Hailey is going to take swimming lessons!! Usually all this fun extra-carricular stuff is sort of limited to kids of stay at home mom's around here so I really thought this was something she would never be able to do. But I found out recently that they're now offering classes on the weekends and weeknights!! I'm so glad I went ahead and looked it up and called right away because there was was only one more class left at Hailey's age level that hadn't already started and I got one of the last two spots for that class! She goes from July 7 to the 16th, at 6:30 in the evening. Plenty of time to eat first, since I get off at 4:00 during the summer! It's at an indoor heated pool, so that will be nice. Best of all, the 8 days worth of lessons were only $35!! Completely worth the money. I really hope she likes it. They teach things like submersion, floating on their front and back, safe entry in and how to safely get out of the pool, safe life jacket practices, etc. She loves going to the Lake so much, already jumping off the dock and tubing behind the boat (with me in the tube too of course) so I'm hoping she'll like her swimming lessons too. I only got to take them one summer as a kid, when I was about 10 I think. I've never been good in the water and I've always been a bit afraid of it. Hopefully by getting Hailey in lessons she won't take after me! :) I am just beyond excited and I can't wait to start!!

Total bummer that I'm going to have to keep my legs shaved for a good 2 weeks, but oh well!! LOL She's worth it.

YUM!

The lemon cheesecake I made for D's birthday was YUMMY!!!! I did a great job, if I do say so myself! I never make things like this so I was very proud of myself! LOL Thanks for the tip Kristin! I did go ahead and use a real lemon. I didn't want to take a chance on screwing anything up so I did it just like the recipe said. I actually felt pretty cool finally using a real lemon to cook with...I've always seen the cooks on the food network roll the lemon the counter first to get it all juicy before they cut and squeeze it. I finally got to try that trick! And I even got to try out the tip I've heard where you put half the squeezed lemon into your garbage disposal for a minute to freshen it up. It really does work!! Anyway, here's the recipe in case anyone wants to try it.

Prep Time:
20 min

Total Time:
5 hr

Makes:
16 servings, one piece each

2 cups HONEY MAID Graham Cracker Crumbs

1-1/4 cups sugar, divided

6 Tbsp. butter, melted

4 pkg. (8 oz. each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened

1 cup BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream

Grated peel and juice from 1 lemon

4 eggs

PREHEAT oven to 325°F. Mix crumbs, 1/4 cup of the sugar and the butter. Reserve 1/4 cup of the crumb mixture; press remaining crumb mixture firmly onto bottom of 13x9-inch baking pan. Set aside.

BEAT cream cheese and remaining 1 cup sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Add sour cream; mix well. Stir in lemon peel and juice. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing on low speed after each addition just until blended. Pour over crust; sprinkle with reserved 1/4 cup crumb mixture.

BAKE 40 min. or until center is almost set. Refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight. Store leftovers in refrigerator.

Recall

Hailey's crib has been recalled! (Ours is the middle one on the picture below, except ours is cherry colored, not white) I'm so bummed, I LOVE our crib. I fell in love with it the first time I saw it and knew I just had to have it. I'm not sure exactly what's going to happen, only that I have to fill out some info online and they'll send me a package in the mail via UPS (which I have to have sent to my mom's house since I'm moving right now!) with instructions on what to do next to get our credit for a new crib. I don't want to throw our old one away but at the same time, we'll never use it again knowing it's been recalled. I hope they don't need receipts because they are long gone. I mean that was 3 years ago! I guess we shall see...

RIP George Carlin

I've watched you for years and years...I began watching you at what most would probably consider WAY too young an age, considering your material. Nonetheless, you became a fast favorite. And when I introduced you to my husband all those years ago, you became a fast favorite of his too. And he shared you with his friends. You've made all of us laugh, and think. I'm so incredibly glad we got to see you live all those months ago. It was one of my dreams, and I thank God I got to fulfill it.

And now, what have I learned from you?

You taught me about "stuff." And how people have WAY too much of it. Every time I pack to go on a trip, or pack up to move yet again, I think of you and your lecture on "stuff." This bit probably left the biggest mark on me.

You taught me some very naughty words, and how there is nothing bad or naughty about them but how absolutely hilarious it is when you use them, especially in a public setting.

You taught me to think. About everything. About why things are the way they are, about why the world works the way it does. And to speak my mind about my opinions when I feel something is worth making a fuss about.

You taught me about a very important issue that everyone should know about...pussyfarts. Enough said.

You've made me laugh so hard I've cried. You've made me angry to the point of wanting to do something about it. You've taught me things nobody else would have. You've changed my outlook on the world.

I can't believe you're gone. You will be missed.

I've hit my mid-afternoon slump. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm craving an iced coffee. SNOOOORRE....... luckily I'm leaving in 45 minutes, a whole hour early today, so I can go get my kiddo and go home to pack and get ready to go to the Lake this weekend! I hope everything turns out okay and the weather cooperates. It's supposed to be just D, Hailey and I. This is the first time we've ever taken a little vacation/getaway just by ourselves. I'm incredibly excited although you couldn't tell it from looking at me! I'm looking like my head's about to hit my desk!!

I've had days where I've wanted to do something like this!

And, I'm a dork.

I'm so freaking excited, but at the same time I feel like such an idiot! I have my digital camera of course, the one I take everywhere and use all the time. It's convenient. But my true love, my passion, lies in my very nice 35 mm Nikon camera. The last time I used it, fully functionable, was LAST 4th of July! It sprinkled a little that night. The next week I went to the birthday party of my then 2 year old niece in St. Louis. When I went to take pictures I couldn't get the camera to focus, it was blurry! Even on the manual setting. I was so upset. I never have had the time or the money to take the camera in to get it fixed and looked at. Lately it's really been bothering me!

Last night my mom and I were packing (me getting very stressed at the organized chaos she was making in the dining/storage room, so I left the room and packed Hailey's very organized room instead) and she started to pack up my camera stuff. I told her to let me have one last look at my beloved camera before I give up for good and take it in to have it looked at once we've moved. I took off the lens and gently cleaned every glass surface in that thing that I could. Still blurry. I had just begun to thing I must have dropped it and screwed up some inside mechanism when I noticed something as I was looking through the viewfinder. Not only was the object I was looking at blurry, the numbers INSIDE the camera were blurry! (The numbers for the ISO settings etc.) That made me realize it must be something with the viewfinder! I saw a little switch next to the viewfinder that I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know was there. I thought maybe it was the switch to take off the viewfinder and clean it. I moved it down, nothing...the viewfinder was still firmly on the camera of course. Then I looked through it...and everything was crystal clear! I feel oh so stupid. Whatever that switch is, it's the cause of me not using my camera for a WHOLE YEAR. I was so excited it was working and not broken that I ran outside and took picture after picture of Hailey. I love this camera!! Tonight I'm going to look in the book and figure out just what this ridiculous switch is for...other than totally confusing me.

I'm just so incredibly glad to have my camera back.

What's wrong with me? Have I gone crazy? Suddenly I'm cooking...a lot. And not just cooking normal stuff like spaghetti but actually looking for recipes and trying them out. I MUST have gone nutty.
I'm thinking about trying this recipe out for D's birthday this coming Monday. He loves cheesecake and he loves lemon. And it's from the Kraft website so it couldn't be THAT hard, could it?

My only question is, just how much juice do you get from one lemon? Because I have a thing of lemon juice at home that I just bought for the last recipe I tried...I'd rather use more of that than have to go buy a lemon. Anybody know the answer to this???

My husband has this disorder...EDD.

Now I know why he looks at me like I'm SO ridiculous when he's upset me and I'm crying and asking him why on earth he doesn't care and doesn't comfort me or apologize or anything. I always knew he had major problems with empathy but I didn't know there was a disorder name for it.

The things you can get for a dollar these days...

Has anyone ever heard of Redbox? This is something new around here. I just discovered it Monday during a shopping trip to Walmart. It's a vending machine where you can rent DVD's for $1 a night. I knew Hailey would be home the next day as well since she still had a fever so I let her pick out a DVD to rent. It only took a minute to do, it was so easy! And I'm loving that it's only $1...that way if she doesn't like the movie, who cares! I'm only out a buck! She rented some computer animated Farm Kids movie that night and sort of liked it. She actually watched the whole thing. Last night to get her out of the house I took her to the Dollar Tree (she loves that store...and I found the cutest little kid's craft aprons there, and they're machine washable and everything...for $1!! I love that store too!) and then to Walmart to return her farm movie and check out another one to watch that night. She wanted that Snow Buddies movie or whatever it's called, but they didn't have it in the machine. Bummer :( So we got Mr. Magorium instead and she didn't like it. Another bummer! :( I'm going to take it back on the way home tonight. I thought it was okay, sort of weird the way it ended though.

I went to the Redbox website this morning and put in my email address. They sent me a promo code for a free rental!! I'm really excited about this and hope it does well enough for Walmart to keep it. (Apparently there's one at every Walmart in town and at the HyVee grocery store also!) Friday night on our way out of town to the Lake we're going to stop and rent a couple movies. It'll only be 4$ to keep two movies for the weekend! Awesome!

The CoolWhip recipe was a hit. Everybody loved it. It was sort of a pain to make but it was so good I'll probably make it again for a special occasion!

The Masterpiece

This is the back of Hailey's shirt she made at an art event we went to at a local park a couple weekends ago. I asked her if I could take a picture of her in her shirt (she is VERY proud of that shirt...she really did make it herself) and she said "NO!" and walked off. So I got the back of the shirt...and ignore my messy house, I'm in the middle of packing and we've been so busy lately so everything is just everywhere right now.

And by the way, I'm oddly at ease with this which is VERY odd. I should be freaking out at the dirt on my carpet that I cannot get the vacuum to and the mountain of boxes blocking the use of my dining room table and the piles of stuff everywhere...but I don't care. Maybe because I know we're moving soon and I'll be able to organize??

Picture Post

On the way to the wedding...


Throwing a penny in the fountain...
Cooling off at the capitol...

Father's Day

Father's Day started off great. Everyone was in a good mood. I packed a little and began getting ready to go to the Lake. I had planned to completely get us ready and get the car loaded before I even woke D up but he scared the shit out of me by getting up himself and creeping up on me!

We headed to the Lake about noon, the sun was shining, perfect lake weather. Halfway there I called my mom and she informed me there were storms moving in. I thought surely they wouldn't hit us. About an hour after we got down there, just as we were getting in the boat, it started clouding up and thundering. Hailey got to take her first boat ride, she loved it! It only lasted about 10 minutes though because it was definitely going to storm. We went inside and it poured. The temperature dropped about 20 degrees! When the rain let up a little D and his dad took Hailey down to the dock to fish. I hadn't brought a coat for her because it was 90 degrees earlier! She was in her swimsuit, cover up, swim shoes and a life jacket. They were down there for a couple hours fishing in the rain. Even though the dock is covered Hailey still got wet. D came up to the cabin at one point and I asked him if he thought Hailey should come back up with us and he said no, she was fine. His mom and I had a nice time sitting on the front porch (it's enclosed but has huge windows) watching the rain and talking. Finally they came back to the cabin and my poor baby was wet and so cold! :( I wrapped her in a towel and got her cleaned up and put dry clothes on her. She acted ok but her nose was running like crazy and she was coughing some. By the time I got her in bed last night she was running a low grade fever. I was worried about her, she acted pitiful. I didn't get her to sleep until about 11:30. At that point I was exhausted from the long busy weekend, I felt like I'd JUST been at work and I was also worried about Hailey being sick because I need my vacation time I have left to move in a couple weeks. I told D I was going to bed because I was exhausted and I was worried about Hailey and thought she'd probably wake up in the middle of the night. He had the nerve to try to get me to have sex with him. He said I'd promised, which I most certainly had NOT. I told him MAYBE IF everything went ok we could. Obviously things weren't going ok and I was so exhausted I was falling asleep sitting up. He threw a HUGE HUGE HUGE fit. I mean yelling, pillow throwing...so immature it was ridiculous. He got me so woken up and upset and pissed off, I was crying and everything. Then he had the nerve to try again, oh yea like that was going to happen after he was just being a HUGE JERK! Finally I gave him an earful and told him I'm sick of him acting like he doesn't give a crap about me at all, that's how he acted the majority of the weekend. I told him I'm tired of it and if he really doesn't love me then he just needs to leave. He told me he'll move out tomorrow. I don't need that dramatic bullshit, I am being serious here! I decided I was going to sleep on the couch. I didn't even want to be near him. He came out to the living room and told me I woke him up so he's going to wake me up. NICE hon. I went and checked on Hailey and she still had a fever and she was coughing so bad she almost threw up. She started crying. I almost slept on her floor but my back just can't take it. Since she wasn't like horribly sick I just left her door ajar and went back to sleep on the couch. My alarm went off seemingly 5 minutes after I fell asleep. I'm so tired this morning.

**Update**

So I had to cut the post this morning short because the sitter called. Hailey was bawling for me in the background, so loud I could barely hear what the sitter was saying. She had a true fever now, had cried the whole hour she'd been there, begging for me. I told her to give her some ibuprofin and I'm coming to get her. I started crying. It was so heart-wrenching, hearing her cry for me like that over the phone. She was SO happy to see me when I got there to pick her up. We got home, ate some breakfast, colored with markers for a long time, played dollhouse for a while, watched Ratatouille and part of a Baby Einstein. She started to get really pitiful and cranky so I put her down for a nap about 1:00. She woke up 30 minutes later crying and I had to sit in the rocker and hold her and let her sleep the rest of her nap. Finally I had to wake her up, I had to pee so bad it hurt. She was laying right on my bladder! We finger painted, she was still pitiful and cranky. Her temp was up to 102. I feel so bad for her, I have no idea what's wrong. We had an okay afternoon, she laid around and watched Milo and Otis. When her medicine kicked in again she was okay and begging to get out of the house. I HAD to run to Walmart, tomorrow's a goody day that I'm designated to bring something to. Plus we needed food in the house. By the end of the shopping trip she was pitiful again. My mom cooked us dinner, I made the dessert...have you seen the Cool Whip commercial where they make that thing in a bread pan w/ strawberries and Oreo crust? I'm trying it. We'll see. If anybody wants to make it, it's on the Coolwhip website and just so you know, you need about 16 Oreo's, not just 8 like it calls for! I also made blueberry muffins in case this dessert sucks. Luckily D's staying home with Hailey tomorrow so I don't have to take another day off work. I'm so afraid they're going to fire me. I got nothing done this morning between writing the blog post and talking to my boss about our weekends, and then I had to suddenly leave. Talk about feeling like a horrible employee. Anyway it's incredibly late and my husband has persuaded me to let Hailey play with him and cuddle on the couch long enough. I need to get to bed, I'm exhausted. And she very conveniently won't let him put her to bed! So, to sum everything up...D and I are fine, Hailey's sick, I don't want to go to work tomorrow, I'm feeling very domestic because I'm actually cooking and baking...and I'm exhausted so I'm going to bed.

The wedding

So today started off okay. We actually got out of here almost on time and we were only about 10 minutes late getting there. D had to be ready for pictures right away so Hailey and I walked from the church up to the capitol. She had fun taking her puppy for a walk and playing with the fountains. That was definitely the highlight of the day! About 45 minutes later we walked back to the church and sat on the curb while we had a snack. Finally I got her dressed and freshened myself up (deoderant, brushed hair etc.)right there in the parking lot by the car. These people are OH SO formal but whatever, I'm a country girl. I don't think anybody even noticed. We went inside while they finished up pictures. Then we just sat and waited while D helped seat all the guests. Finally our friend's girlfriend, K, showed up with her son, her little sister (who wasn't invited to the wedding, can she not go ANYWHERE herself??) and our friend's parents who were in from out of state. I thought I would finally have somebody to chat with! I was pretty taken aback and honestly my feelings were pretty hurt when K turned her back to me after they sat down (D sat them in my row). She did turn and introduce me to her LS but then I got her back again. ?? It was a LOOOOOOOONG Catholic wedding which was a first for us being that neither D or I are Catholic. Hailey did fairly well. Afterwards they took yet more pictures. Then I started to lose it when I found out they had to leave and go to the Governor's Garden for MORE pictures. Hailey and I were going to be left all alone. I tried to walk over to the reception hall with K and them but they acted like I wasn't even there and when I walked into the cluster fuck of people (excuse my language) in that reception hall I immediately turned and walked right back out. I found D and told him just how stressed and pissed I was and that he could find me in the car when he got back. Hailey and I had a dance party in the car (Hailey said "I shaking my body Mommy!") and shared a Gerber Graduates ravioli meal which we ate with our fingers...uh, yum? Finally D came to get us and we were in a better mood having eaten something finally (it was 4:00!) Then all hell broke loose. We walked into the reception hall, sat by K and the others and then we found out D had to sit at the head table. He was a freaking usher, come ON! Who has ushers sit at the head table!!? So I was going to be alone, yet again. No way was I going to be able to get my food and eat with a very bored/antsy toddler all to myself in this horribly crowded room not to mention the fact that HELLO I hate social situations like that and had NOBODY to talk to! I was getting the "I don't know you so here's my back" treatment from our "friend" K again and knew nobody else. I panicked, I could feel my chest tightening. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I told D I needed to just go home, that I could not sit there all by myself in the middle of this crowded room. I seriously hate social situations, even just thinking about it my stomach's getting in knots again. D told me I was being a pain and a bitch which really hurt my feelings so I left. I wish so bad that I had a husband that actually cared and would understand me and say something like "sweetie it's going to be okay, I'll get you some food and a soda and I'll come back and sit with you as soon as I can..." Nope. I was called names, he made me cry and look like a fool, had to be told to get me food and then after he was done eating while his daughter was asking me repeatedly where Daddy was, he sat at the head table talking to the other guys about golf and drinking his glass of wine. Anyway after he called me names I took Hailey out to the car and intended to leave. We were in the car, I was getting everything arranged in the car so I could leave, Hailey had fallen asleep in her seat and I was about to leave when D walked up. He was pissed. He told me if I left he would be very mad at me for the rest of the weekend. Nice. Very supportive, thanks hon. I wiped the tears from my face, took my sleeping daughter from her seat and went back in to sit next to K, who ignored me yet again. D went up to the head table, was served by the waitresses. Never got me a drink, nothing, before he went up there. Again, thanks hon. K didn't offer to get me anything. I couldn't get up because of Hailey sleeping. If I barely moved she freaked out and woke up so I just had to sit there. Finally some of the bride's family came and sat down near me and told me to join their group. VERY nice people, totally helped with the situation. One of the bride's uncles offered to get me something to drink and I politely declined. Then they offered to get me food. Every single one of them offered to get me food! I felt odd about telling them ok though so I kept politely declining. Finally while they were up getting their food Coach's wife came over and offered to hold Hailey. I told her if I moved she'd wake up and she doesn't do well with people she doesn't know well. I think she could tell I was upset and I just told her my husband was up there eating. She said she was going to go tell him to get me some food. And she did. Not only did she make him get me some food, she made him get it from the kitchen and not wait in the long line. I LOVE THAT WOMAN! LOL I could have hugged her if I could have moved. When my husband finally brought me my food the bride's family I was sitting with actually clapped. They are the sweetest people. I got to eat, D half ignored me the rest of the reception til I finally got him to leave. D's friends DEFINITELY think I'm an uptight nerdy bitch now if they didn't before, but whatever. I can't help how I am. Once back in town we got ice cream with my mom and came home. Hailey colored (she's so good at drawing circles now!), I colored on Hailey with her washable markers...she thought that was pretty cool...and I put her to bed before I went to bed myself. I fell asleep almost instantly, only to be woken up about 30 minutes later by what I posted about below! **I'm having some trouble getting the video to process. Hopefully I'll be able to post it soon!**

Awoken at midnight

A perk of living within walking distince to the co-owners/founders of the biggest/best known retail store in the nation...

We were awoken at midnight by the noise from this...

The video does NOT do it justice...it was much closer than it seems and the sound was not little capgun pops, these were the big booms you hear when you see the big city fireworks on the 4th of July. Woke me up from a dead sleep. It lasted about 25 minutes. I couldn't help myself and woke Hailey up for the last minute or so. She went back to sleep right away, I'm glad she got to see at least some of it!

**Side note....this video took like 2 days to process before I could post it!!! Craziness!!! Also, we found out that the grand daughter of the founder of this huge retail chain got married Saturday in a 5 million dollar wedding and this was part of the celebration. Apparently this party was so big Paris Hilton herself showed up (my mother in law says anyway). Amazing that these immensely rich people live literally like 2 blocks from us. That's how the city we live in is though...the rich right next to the poor. It's crazy!**

The sun is shining

We're going to have bad days here and there, I know that. But the bad days just need to, well, not be so bad, darn it! Things are okay. Things are better. Promises aren't being broken, which is the major reason I was so upset. Hailey's still getting to go to the Lake next weekend. I'll forget the name calling in time. Everything's fine. Moving on.

So big things have been happening in these parts. Well big in my book anyway.

My husband finally admitted he is getting excited about moving. I think having to peel off his mud caked clothes and shoes on the front porch for God and all the Mexican's living next door to see really did it. He's very excited about having a garage now. And here I thought telling him he could have all his hunting/fishing/golf stuff at HOME instead of stored in his parents garage would do it! All I had to do was start making him undress outdoors! LOL

Hailey isn't that weirded out by the packing, which is something I was worried about. A couple nights ago I started packing up the books in her bedroom (the ones we don't read every night) and she did run in her bedroom and say "Hey, those are mine!" but once I explained that we had to pack them away so we can move them to the new house, she was fine. We've decided on keeping her around for most, if not all, of the day while we're moving. That way she can see all of our stuff leaving the old place and being moved into the new. I'm sure there will be plenty of comments from the inlaws (who aren't helping us move, by the way) about how we need to just send Hailey to the sitter's but I know my daughter and I really think it's best for her to see what's happening first hand.

My mom's new job is going amazingly well. I feel like God really answered our prayers with this one. The people in this law office are absolutely amazing. The lawyers are incredible. The things they have done for my mother are just above and beyond that of a normal employer. Things like giving her a huge check just because they didn't have to pay two months of Cobra insurance for her. You'd think they'd just be thankful they didn't have to pay for it and leave it at that. Instead they give the money they would have used to pay for the insurance directly to her. Just to have. We are so incredibly thankful for everything God is giving her right now. She really deserves it. And just to add to her happiness I bought her a new vacuum last week. She loaned hers to her boyfriend over a year ago and unfortunately he never gave it back. She's been borrowing mine. When I bought my new (ABSOLUTELY AWESOME) new vacuum I was going to give her our old one...until D took it down to the Lake and used it to clean up the nastiness at the cabin. Now that one is banished to the cabin (as we threw the old one there away) and my mom has a nice new one. All is right in cleaning land!

D and I have realized that we are going to have to share the cabin. Which is totally fine, except for the fact that we're the only ones that have been cleaning that place and fixing it up! Well aside from his dad, who has really been doing a lot as well which we are very thankful for. But now that the place is cleaner and has newer couches and a TV, all the relatives are wanting to go down there. Like D's brother and my sister in law. And now D's cousin that hasn't been in years will be taking her new husband there a week after the wedding. Which is totally fine! We just need to get over the fact that it's not just our cabin. And that people don't care that we're the only ones that have done any work, they're still going to reap the benefits. And we've realized that we just need to move to the Lake ourselves! We're hoping D can get a job down there after he graduates. The Lake is a place where I've always just felt at ease. I love the atmosphere, I love the lifestyle. I want a boat and a waverunner way more than I want a house. I just need to be away from the city, I'm tired of all the congestion and how there are people everywhere you go. I love being down at the Lake and waking up to the sound of boats going by and waverunners zooming all over the place. (Sort of off topic but waverunners remind me of nats. They follow huge boats around riding their wake...I'd think this would be really annoying for the boat owners! It's so fun though!) If it can't be there then I want to live in another tiny little town. I'm talking no grocery store tiny like one of my favorite little blufftop towns near here. Where you're driving along and come upon a heard of chickens just standing in the street. I crave that slower paced, less stressed, more quiet life.

Changing subjects completely...I'm going to talk about work now. I can't go into all the details but I have to say working for a public school system vs. for a big corporation is very interesting. We're dealing with tax le.vys and bud.get cuts and board meetings and it's just all very (oddly enough) exciting. It gets your blood boiling, you start to feel so passionate about your feelings on the issues! This morning we all met at the office about 15 minutes early (and I was NOT the last one here, I am happy to announce! **pats myself on back**) and rode over to the boa.rd meeting together. Apparently we made quite the impact all showing up as a united front like that, our whole office. My boss and our secretary (who replaced me when I took this job--and who is now losing her job because of the budget cuts) both spoke and we stood up with them to show our support. We were in the very front row so when we stood up it looked very intimidating. We could just feel the teachers behind us staring and we could hear them whispering. It's amazing how much in denial they are of simple mathematics. We're dealing with a bud.get crisis, we're cutting something like 82 positions across the dist.rict, everybody is losing 2 days of work w/out pay...and the teachers think we should go ahead with the salary sch.edule and essentially give everyone raises (although as the teachers put it, it is NOT a raise...it's a contractual obligation, a part of their benefits package--although it's not in any of their contracts or benefit info!) The whole idea of taking away jobs and days and then giving everyone a raise is just ludicrous. And what really bites my ass is the fact that the teachers claim to be so much about the students, reminding everybody that this is really about the students here, but then they are so money hungry! And they give sob stories about how so many of them are already at a hardship, having to work 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet, and PLEASE don't make this harder on us than it already is! BOOHOO. The average teacher in our district makes almost $50,000 a year. For 9 months work. Some of our accountants make less than that and they work 12 months! And as far as having to work 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet...I would LOVE to see them live on my salary or that of our secretaries. They make twice what we do and are able to be off in the summer. It's just a mess and while both sides have valid points I think it just says something how the people that are supposedly so "for the students" still want their raise so bad, while those of us that are being directly impacted by the cuts by ways such as losing staff, so our individual workloads will go up, we'll be losing 2 days of work w/ no pay, etc. are all for NOT getting raises. How about we keep the staff that are losing their jobs so the district can actually run/work properly and everybody stay at the same rate of pay...an efficiently run district is what the students need. Not a teacher who makes $1000 more per year.

So I got off on a rant there. I feel very good about being involved in this and it makes me happy to hear that we made a big impact on everyone this morning (in a good way). The superin.tendent is very happy with what went on. Hopefully a good decision will be made and this will all be over soon!

A plus about having to get here so early this morning...now I get off at 3:43! Yay!

I've really gotten into reading again. I've finished The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella...hard to get into at first but ultimately a GREAT book! One of my favorites of hers so far! I've now moved on to Can You Keep a Secret...another one of hers. So far it's pretty good...now the only problem is I haven't had time to read lately! I've got many more books on my "to read" list and can't wait to get all settled in our new place and have time to read again!

Tomorrow night we've got a rehearsal and dinner for our friend's wedding that is going on Saturday. We've made the decision to take Hailey to the rehearsal and dinner, against my inlaws judgement, and we're very excited about going. Another reason for me to get semi dressed up...I got a new dark grey knit skirt (the kind w/ the foldover top like I LOVE) at Old Navy last night for the occassion. I'll probably just wear it with a pink tank top and some flip flops unless I can find some sandals tonight. For the wedding Saturday I found a HUGE bargain at Kohl's, a dress on sale for $7. I'm going to attempt to curl my hair which means I need to buy either some curlers or a curling iron. I've been wanting those for ages anyway. I got Hailey the cutest little dress at Penneys on sale for $15 and she picked out some little gold braided flip flops that I'm going to squeeze her fat little feet into. Hopefully the day goes smoothly with minimal meltdowns on her part.

My sister came over last night after a LONG time of not seeing each other. We went to Old Navy, got sandwiches at Quizno's (not to self: Hailey does NOT like toasted subs), ran by Penneys and just hung out. We decided we really need to make an effort to do it more often and we've planned a date with just the two of us to go to this new seafood place we both want to try.

Hailey has yet again grown up overnight. The other day at the sitters she was going a puzzle with the sitter's middle son who is 2 months older than her. He asked her what a puzzle piece was. Hailey said "I THINK it's a crab. I THINK." The sitter said she laughed so hard, and that Hailey sounded just like a little adult. She also told the sitter all about the tye dyed shirt she made at the festival I took her to last weekend. The sitter had read about it on our family blog but hadn't mentioned it to Hailey at all. Hailey brought it up all on her own and told her all about how she made this shirt with circles and colored it yellow and blue and pink and then Mommy washed it. She said she made it at the big park. Little things like that make me realize that I have a kid now. She's not a little baby anymore, as much as I still feel like I have a baby. I have a kid now. A true little kid.

My husband got a lesson Tuesday night (before Hailey went to bed and we fought, of course) on just how much of a kid Hailey is now. And how he really needs to watch his mouth. We were on the way to the park after having DQ ice cream. He started hassling me about doing "the deed" with him that night. I kept telling him I just do NOT feel like it, it was not a good night, I was exhausted, blah blah blah on and on and finally I told him to not talk about things like that in front of Hailey anymore. He started in again hassling me until Hailey finally had enough and she yelled at him "DADDY SHE'S NOT IN THE MOOD!" He was so embarrassed and I just laughed and laughed. The look of shock on his face was priceless. Of course she had no idea exactly what we were talking about but you'd better bet that got him to shut up!!! Thanks Hailey!

And now I'd better get to work. Sometime this weekend I should have some pictures to upload! Hope everyone is having a great week!

The crickets.

The fan.

Hailey.

The crickets chirping outside my window.
The fan whirring in the corner of the room.

The comforting thought of Hailey sleeping soundly in her bed.

Things were going so well after our talk.

One night ruined it all.

So tired of being let down.

I lie in bed and concentrate...

Now the tears are gone from my face.

My heart silently aches.

I've prayed to God to give me strength and guidance.

I've prayed that tomorrow will be a better day.

All that I know now are the crickets, the fan, and Hailey.

Our new motto is "She's 2, what's your excuse???"

I've been discussing with friends today the wonderfullness that having a very independent (read: already thinks she knows what's best and tells me just what she thinks about my ideas) two year old brings...then my cousin sent me this email without knowing the conversation and it all just fit perfectly. I found it very appropriate and quite funny and just wanted to share...

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was 'DON'T!'

'Don't what ?' Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.

'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '

'No Way!'
'Yes way! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit!' said God.

'Why?'

'Because I am your Father and I said so!' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you?' said the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve.
'She started it!' Adam said.

'Did not!'
'Did too!'
'DID NOT!'

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

Love it

I have a new obsession...

Plain waffle cones w/ chocolate ice cream from DQ.....YUM!!

Just amazing!

After reading THIS article I am just absolutely amazed at the things they can do nowadays and at how far medicine has come! To think that an unborn baby can be taken from the womb, operated on and then put BACK to be born at a later time, is just astounding!!

Dry Drowning

Everyone really needs to go read THIS article. I had no idea this could even happen! What a scary, horrible, sad thing to have happen! :(

SO.TIRED.

I can hardly keep my eyes open. I'm going to get some vitamins at lunch. Hopefully starting those again will give me some extra energy. It's hard to believe just a little cold is making me this stinking exhausted, but it has to be that. I hope this all goes away soon, being this tired I can hardly function!!

Everybody needs to go over and check out Joanna's Etsy shop, P B & J Celebrations. She's got some really neat items with wonderful designs! I'm planning on ordering some "We've Moved" notices (I like the black paisley w/ the turquoise design!) and hopefully will be ordering some baby shower invites from her for my friend's shower coming up in a couple months! Her recipe cards are also a really cute idea...I'm thinking of ordering some of those for my mother in law for her birthday coming up!

Head on over and check it out!!

Ok so I'm over the rude comments from yesterday. It was really hard for me to get over what was said, but I've made the decision not to let things like that get to me so even though it took a good night's sleep to get the hurt feelings to go away, they are GONE.

I'm coming down with a lovely little head/chest cold. So that sucks. Hopefully it won't last long, we've got too many fun things planned!

Last night I got home from work and went to get Hailey some milk...the carton was warm. I forgot to warn my husband that I put a big bowl of pasta salad on the top shelf so you had to push the door closed, not just let it swing shut. He's making his own lunches in the morning now, which makes me OH SO happy...but because I forgot to warn him about the door, it stood cracked open all day. So needless to say, I had to go grocery shopping last night and replace everything that was in my fridge except the soda and Powerade. One plus of this though is that everything in my fridge is fresh and new! The money timing really sucked, but oh well. It was an accident.

I'm getting extremely excited about moving!!! Unfortunately my excitement isn't boosting my energy levels though, so I've had no energy to pack! I have been exhausted lately, maybe from such a busy work week last week and the busy/fun weekend we just had? Last night I couldn't keep my eyes open. I don't even remember going to bed! We're going to our family friend's house tonight for a little bit, she found Hailey some more clothes and a little big-wheel at garage sales. I'd say I'll pack some when we get home but it's only 1:30 and I'm already wanting to go to bed! Hopefully I can catch up on my sleep soon because we've got a really busy month ahead of us and I'm afraid moving time is going to be here before we know it and I won't be prepared!

Why?

My sister in law messages me on Facebook every workday. Today she messaged me asking what I thought her baby was going to be because she's taking guesses. I told her I honestly don't know one way or the other because she's had two boys so it could be another boy but that I've had friends go in the same pattern as her and finally have their girl the last time around. She told me she really really wants a little girl. We got to messaging back and forth and I told her I'm not sure if I really want to have anymore kids (she's always trying to get me to get pregnant like NOW) because I am so obsessed and in love with Hailey that I don't know that I want another one...I don't see how I could love another one as much as I do her and I sort of feel like it wouldn't be fair to her to spend some of "her" time on another baby/kid. I also made the comment that I'm sort of afraid to have another one because I don't want a boy and what if it's a boy? I told her I love other people's little boys, they're so cute and everything and that I love her boys and love taking care of them and whatnot. But I just don't want one of my own. She had made the comment before that she loves her boys because she sees so much of her husband (my husband's brother) in them but that she'd like a girl too. So anyway I told her that whole thing about how I didn't want a boy and whatnot. Her response? "I see what you're saying. I mean, I like Hailey and all, but she's just not for me..."

?????

WTF? Thanks a bunch for telling me that my kid "just isn't for you." She went on to explain with an explanation that made no sense. She still ended up looking like an ass. This really really hurt my feelings. No one wants to be told that someone doesn't love your kid, ESPECIALLY family. And what's more, she went on to say that she's being pressured to have a little girl by my mother in law because my mother in law wants to finally be able to buy girly things (she had 3 boys)...Um, HELLO, does my mother in law not realize she already has a granddaughter that she could spoil with girly things???? Hailey loves her and my husband's mom acts like she's just "okay." She NEVER asks to keep her overnight or even watch her for a couple hours so she can play with her. And now apparently she's trying to replace her altogether, hoping my sister in law has a little girl. I'm so fed up with his family. I'm fed up with them not caring about Hailey. They are obsessed with my brother and sister in law's kids but don't care one way or the other about Hailey. She loves them to pieces, it breaks my heart that they treat her like this. How can grown adults be so immature and rude? I'm just really upset by all of this...by the comment my sister in law made, and finding out that my mother in law wants my sister in law to have a girl so she can "finally" have a little girl to spoil... :( My heart just breaks for Hailey. She doesn't understand why they act that way. I don't even know what to say.

Cleanliness Issues

I guess my house is a lot cleaner than I perceive it to be. This weekend while talking with our friend K about cleanliness and how I have issues with germs and things being clean and whatnot (since the cabin is older and needs fixing up badly, it's hard for me to stay there and not be a little bit stressed) she made a comment to me that made me realize that others see my house as much cleaner than I see it. And that maybe I don't need to worry so much about it being "dirty" when people come over. I made the comment that I know my house isn't sparkling clean. She said "Well stuff is one thing, dirt is another..." We do have a lot of stuff laying about because we have no storage. Clutter is horrible at our house. It drives me bonkers. I cannot wait to move to be able to have an un-cluttered house! Finally! But I look at our house and see not only clutter, but dirt. Clorox wipes are my friend. I love them. I clean everything with them. Even the floors on my hands and knees...and even the walls.

It's sad when I feel more uncomfortable in my own home than others do because of the cleanliness issues I have. I don't know how to get over it either. It's just getting worse and worse. I'm already stressing about where to put the litter box in the new place because we don't have a convenient spare spot that isn't going to be used daily.

That's the only bad part about going down to the Lake. Every single time we go in the water I have to shower afterwards. In well water, of all things, which gives me diarrhea...in a shower that has no water pressure. With bugs in the shower stall. And a mildewed ceiling, and a forever dirty floor...I so wish my inlaws would gut that place and just remodel. I don't have to have nice things, just things that aren't rusted and molded and falling apart. One of the many reasons we're moving from where we live now...our townhouse is very old and falling apart. There's dirt in places that will never come clean, like between the linoleum tiles in the floors. No amount of cleaning will ever make it completely "clean," in my eyes at least. The place we're moving is newer and has better flooring and better cabinets etc. so hopefully I won't feel so stressed living there. I'm already sort of nervous about the condition of our unit since I've never seen inside it...and when my mom knocked on their door to ask them some questions she said there was grass on the carpet. So I'm picturing them being really dirty people and that is stressing me out.

I don't want to give Hailey a complex. I mean I let her splash in rain puddles and play with rocks and stuff. I just make her take a bath when we get home.

WHY can't I get over this?? I don't WANT to be like this. I don't see it as a good thing. I just don't know how to stop! Does anybody else have issues like this? Or any advice??

Huge sigh of relief

This weekend went AMAZINGLY well. I cannot begin to describe the effect it has had on me. I am thanking God over and over again that everything worked out the way it did and praying that things will continue and I won't have to go back to that "place" anymore where I'm just absolutely miserable and feeling like hiding in a hole somewhere.

Thursday night my husband and I finally talked. After 9 years. He FINALLY had a discussion with me and actually LISTENED to what I was saying. The basis of that being that we need him. I need him. I need the family I've always dreamed of. I can't be let down anymore because I just can't take it after all these years of being let down left and right. And Hailey needs her dad. Not an occasional playmate. At the end of the conversation I asked my husband "So what are your plans for tomorrow night?" fully expecting him to say "I'm playing golf with A" or something to that effect. But right away he said "Spending time with you guys." I was so anxious all day Friday. Would he blow us off, using the excuse that he just HAS to practice or HAS to do something else? After work I rushed home and Hailey and I played outside to keep us busy until he got home. It was past time for him to get home and I called...he was still working. Okay, I started to get a little nervous. He didn't seem to be in the greatest of moods. I called 3 times before he was finally on his way home. He got home, took a shower and then told us he was NOT going to the park because his allergies were going crazy. Ok, no problem. I cooked a big yummy dinner (chicken w/ italian dressing glaze, mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans) and then we headed out and picked up my mom and treated ourselves to some DQ. We all went to Walmart together after that and my husband did not gripe once, he was so patient. We bought a life jacket for Hailey and three new pillows for the cabin at the Lake (since I had to throw some of his parents' away that were MILDEWED, EW!!). The night went surprisingly well!

D had also promised to go with Hailey and I to the annual carnival in a little town near here where my family is from. I've gone every year for as long as I can remember, since I was a little girl. It's really special to me! He went with me a few times over the years and hates it. But after explaining to him how important it is to me, he agreed to go. I made him promise not to gripe while we were there and not to say "I told you so" when we left if it really did suck. We got there on time, about 11:30 am, and guess what...we had fun! Aside from Hailey getting incredibly cranky, it was a really good time. Hailey rode her first carnival rides ever, and all by herself even! I was so proud, but it was so shocking...my baby is growing up!! We started with the carousel which she surprisingly did not want to ride...she LOVES the one in the mall...I made her ride it and she had a great time and loosened up. Then she wanted to ride the cars. They go in a circle on a track. I buckled her in the one she picked and explained that I had to go stand outside the gate with Daddy and she was going to ride the car by herself. When the ride started going the look on her face was priceless. It was a mixture of shock, surprise and seriousness. She really thought she was driving that car. She turned that steering wheel like crazy and kept looking back at the boy in the car behind her like he was just riding her WAY too close LOL it was so stinking cute! After that she rode the boats...the same type of ride but they go over little hills as they go around. She loved that as well. I'll try to add a video to this later of her riding them. She played the duck game and won a big blow up hammer and then I got to eat a pulled pork sandwich while Hailey munched on a bag of chips. She was pretty cranky at that point. D went and got me a peach dumpling, yum, and then he rode the big slide with Hailey...she rode the little train herself and then we left which of course Hailey was not happy about. She slept all the way back to town. When we got home we loaded up the car, I called and cancelled on my friend--the graduation party I was supposed to go to...I did not feel bad cancelling, this friend has let me down so many times I can't count--we loaded up the car and headed to the Lake! Hailey was so excited, she couldn't even sleep. We met our friends A, K and their baby boy L who were going with us. When we drove up to the cabin Hailey saw the Lake and said "Oh my GOD!" it was too cute. She LOVED seeing the boats go by and she even got right in the water! I was shocked! Sunday my father in law came down to install a new bathroom vanity and sink and our friends left (which I was actually really happy about...I just wanted time with my family) and we swam more and then fished off the dock. Hailey caught her first fish ever all by herself!! She cast, caught and reeled in this fish with no help from us and she was so proud of herself. Again, the look on her face was just priceless. She cast the line and reeled it back in numerous times w/ no result. It's fun for her. But D went and dug up some fishing worms and found a few tiny hooks...he was bound and determined to have her catch a fish. She plopped the hook down in the water and when that little bluegill latched on she was so surprised but she held tight to the rod and just watched in shock as the fish swam like crazy pulling out the line. I told her to reel it in and she started reeling and reeling and when she lifted the fish out of the water she was just so surprised. She couldn't believe she actually caught a fish. She even held it in her hands!!!! Til it flopped and she said "Mommy it spiked me!" and then she wouldn't touch anymore LOL She caught a few more, I got pictures of the 3rd one (I didn't have the camera for the first one!!). She wanted to keep fishing but it was time to load up the car and go. She hadn't had a nap all day and was VERY cranky. She fell asleep in the car before we even got out of the driveway and she slept all the way home, waking up at one point when she yelled in her sleep "DOWN! DOWN!" and then groggily asked me "Where'd Molly go?" (my father in law's yellow lab that she'd been playing with at the Lake--he does dog trials and stuff w/ her and Hailey LOVES to help him boss her around!) I told her Molly went home with Papa and she went back to sleep.

We ended the evening by playing some Mario Kart on the Wii. It was an absolutely amazing weekend. Much needed...I didn't even care that we were so busy. My mom said this morning when she called "I bet you feel like you didn't even get a weekend" and I told her that surprisingly, that isn't the case. I feel like I had a GREAT fun-filled weekend, and that I'm very happy to be home this week and start to pack and get Hailey to bed early and just have a normal week before another busy, fun-filled weekend! And we're already planning to go back to the Lake a few weekends from now, this time without our friends and hopefully with the boat which Hailey will LOVE!

This was a big weekend of firsts for Hailey...first carnival and carnival rides, first time at the Lake, first fun trip with D and I and she caught her first fish!!

It's amazing how much some good, quality family time does for my mood. I feel on top of the world. Even lunch in 30 minutes is making me happy...and packing tonight and doing laundry, I'm happy about that. All because I have my husband back and feel like I have a family again. My family is my world, it always has been...my family now includes my husband and his family and hopefully now my husband realizes that...and hopefully now I can have the little family I've dreamed about my whole life.