Cleanliness Issues

I guess my house is a lot cleaner than I perceive it to be. This weekend while talking with our friend K about cleanliness and how I have issues with germs and things being clean and whatnot (since the cabin is older and needs fixing up badly, it's hard for me to stay there and not be a little bit stressed) she made a comment to me that made me realize that others see my house as much cleaner than I see it. And that maybe I don't need to worry so much about it being "dirty" when people come over. I made the comment that I know my house isn't sparkling clean. She said "Well stuff is one thing, dirt is another..." We do have a lot of stuff laying about because we have no storage. Clutter is horrible at our house. It drives me bonkers. I cannot wait to move to be able to have an un-cluttered house! Finally! But I look at our house and see not only clutter, but dirt. Clorox wipes are my friend. I love them. I clean everything with them. Even the floors on my hands and knees...and even the walls.

It's sad when I feel more uncomfortable in my own home than others do because of the cleanliness issues I have. I don't know how to get over it either. It's just getting worse and worse. I'm already stressing about where to put the litter box in the new place because we don't have a convenient spare spot that isn't going to be used daily.

That's the only bad part about going down to the Lake. Every single time we go in the water I have to shower afterwards. In well water, of all things, which gives me diarrhea...in a shower that has no water pressure. With bugs in the shower stall. And a mildewed ceiling, and a forever dirty floor...I so wish my inlaws would gut that place and just remodel. I don't have to have nice things, just things that aren't rusted and molded and falling apart. One of the many reasons we're moving from where we live now...our townhouse is very old and falling apart. There's dirt in places that will never come clean, like between the linoleum tiles in the floors. No amount of cleaning will ever make it completely "clean," in my eyes at least. The place we're moving is newer and has better flooring and better cabinets etc. so hopefully I won't feel so stressed living there. I'm already sort of nervous about the condition of our unit since I've never seen inside it...and when my mom knocked on their door to ask them some questions she said there was grass on the carpet. So I'm picturing them being really dirty people and that is stressing me out.

I don't want to give Hailey a complex. I mean I let her splash in rain puddles and play with rocks and stuff. I just make her take a bath when we get home.

WHY can't I get over this?? I don't WANT to be like this. I don't see it as a good thing. I just don't know how to stop! Does anybody else have issues like this? Or any advice??