Drowning

Company 2 times during the work week = one very tired baby, laundry not done, sink full of dishes....and one tired momma. My niece drove me nuts last night. She drove H nuts...T got yelled at quite a few times by H because she wouldn't just get out of her face and leave her the hell alone. This morning I realized CRAP I forgot to wash my work pants so I had nothing to wear to work today. Right now I have 1 pair of pants to wear to work...that's IT. I have 2 new pair sitting in bags waiting to be hemmed because they're about 10 inches too long for me(being 5'2" sucks sometimes) but Lord knows when I'll get that done. The problem is that I'm smaller now than I was even before I got pregnant. I was a 4 then, and now I'm a 2. So I don't even have any pre-preg. clothes that fit except this 1 pair of khakis that is pretty damn stained and freyed at the bottom. And I cannot afford to go out and buy new work clothes. So I'm having to make due w/ what I have, which is obviously not much. I scrambled around this morning and ended up wearing the smaller of my 2 size 6 pants from when I first started back to work at 8 weeks post-partum. I'm wearing a belt so they don't fall down to my ankles. And yes they are bagging off my ass, but I couldn't call in of course and I couldn't come to work in stretch pants, so...I didn't really have an alternative. I hate being poor!! And on that note, I'll mention how I just called the hospital to have my husband's 800$ ER bill and my 500$ ER bill added to my daughter's 400$ ER bill...and now instead of paying 25$ a month(which we can't afford) I have to pay $45 a month(which we REALLY can't afford). Things just keep getting worse. Our tax money is going to last us maybe another 3 months if that. Then we're screwed. Does working at a vet clinic count as experience for Natural Resources/Wildlife Management??? Because that is the only way D will be able to work and get experience at the same time this summer I think...to work at my friend's vet clinic. Anyway like I said before, I'm so sick of being poor. It's just not fair. Things were great before we had H, we had money to buy groceries, go to the movies, buy new clothes if we needed it...we didn't have these big credit card balances looming over our heads either. But 600$ rent and 600$ a month in daycare, ok that's my whole paycheck. D gets 500$ a month from his grandparents since they don't have to pay for his college anymore because he is on a full scholarship for playing golf(his grandparents are those little old people that live in the same tiny house they always have but are so stinking rich it's rediculous)...and that basically covers a little bit of gas, his 200$ car pmt and utilities. WHERE am I supposed to come up w/ the rest of the money every month for cc pmts, cell phone, ins., food, etc.?? I can't get a 2nd job, that's not an option since D is gone all day and evening. I just don't know what to do, I feel like I'm drowning sometimes.