Another crazy weekend...

Well we had another crazily busy weekend. Friday night D finally found a Wii at Best Buy, so after Miss H went to bed(late) we stayed up to check it out. I got up at about 8 the next morning with her, and she pretty much refused to take a nap all day. She has a cold. Nothing horrible, just a little coughing and snot. But her sleep is a bit screwed up. She was cranky all afternoon, and a couple of D's golf buddies came over to check out the Wii, and they played with her so of course she wouldn't nap at all while they were there either. Saturday was also my sister's birthday and we'd said we'd take her out to dinner. She chose Red Lobster, and let me say it was NOT worth the amount of money we paid for that meal. We won't be going back. We didn't get Miss H in bed til late again, after 11. Sunday morning I woke up at 8...no yelling from Miss H. So I went back to bed. Woke up at 9...went and checked on her...still snoozing away! D and I woke up at 10:30 and honestly we flipped out a little...she hasn't slept that late since she had the stomach flu. We walked in her room to find her standing there in her crib, pointing at her special lamp her great-grandparents got her, and whispering "dat, dat!" She is so funny. Usually she stands up and yells at the door for us to come get her. I have no idea how long she was awake looking at her lamp. But at least we got some sleep, and she didn't seem like she was starving to death or anything surprisingly. She fought her nap again on Sunday. Finally D just laid her in bed with him, and I laid down as well. She cried, and tossed and turned, and cried. The only way I could get her to settle down was to rub on back and hold her really close and say "bye-o, bye-o baby bye-o"...my grandma used to rock me to sleep singing that when I was little, and oddly it soothes Miss H too. She FINALLY drifted off to sleep, and I slept w/ her from 1 to 3. I got her up at 3:30 to eat lunch. We went to the in-laws around 6 and Miss H didn't eat dinner til 8. She did however do something pretty darn amazing. One minute she was sitting on the floor next to me, the next she just stood up. She just stood up right there in the middle of the floor and just stood there, not wobbling or anything! Of course me, the wonderfully eloquent person that I am, could only think to say "um, um, um!" I was shocked. To see my little baby girl standing there next to me was a very odd sight. Needless to say I'm very proud. Anyway last night she had a rough time getting to sleep again. She had trouble settling down in my arms...we tried multiple positions, and finally I laid her down in her crib thinking she'd like to stretch out. So she turned over and stuck her butt in the air. 5 minutes later she was crying reaching for me. I tried to lay her back down and that made her bawl. So I picked her up and rocked her some more and FINALLY got her settled down and asleep. I kept telling myself that it was always hard for me to get to sleep as a kid, and I reminded myself how that felt to want to go to sleep so badly and never be able to get to sleep and how comforting it would have been to have my mom just pick me up and rock me. That really helps me not get frustrated at all with her. And I know she doesn't feel well either. And I can feel a huge bulge on her gums too where I her eye tooth is coming in on the top so maybe that's an issue as well. But she was asleep by 12:30 am. I felt so bad dragging her out of bed this morning when she was so exhausted still. If I didn't have to work I could have let her sleep in :o( One of these days...

Ok I have a dilemma...during the week Miss H's diaper rash gets progressively worse, until on Friday it's sometimes bleeding even. The sitter(who is really great by the way) SWEARS she changes her regularly and right after she poops. But on the weekend, it clears up and by the time I take her back to the sitter's Monday morning her little bum is perfectly peachy soft, no rash in sight. It can't be diet, because I feed her the same things on the weekend and her butt is fine with me. UNLESS, it's because the sitter has a water softener. The dr. said that shouldn't be the problem. But what the heck else could it be?? I provide all her formula, wipes, diapers, butt cream...the only thing I can think of is the water must be not setting well with her sensitive skin. Does anybody have a softener and have had issues like this?? I bought her a couple jugs of nursery water to use instead of her tap, so hopefully that will help...we'll see I guess. If not, the only thing I know to do is tell her to change her diaper at least every hour as well as right after she poops and go from there. But I don't change her diaper that often when I have her and every morning she wakes up with a diaper full to the brim of pee and it doesn't affect her bum?? I am just at a loss, I have no idea what's wrong...

Ok on to other things. I have an issue. A big one. I even made a new years resolution to try and fix it. But it hasn't worked. My issue is that I come very last on my list of priorities. My new years resolution was to take better care of myself. But how am I supposed to do that when I'm so busy and exhausted all the time? I have always been a really low energy person. I have major stomach issues and all the extra energy it takes my body to digest food etc. really taxes my energy supply. I take a multivitamin. I get plenty of exercise running after Miss H and going non-stop from the time I get up til the time I fall in bed at night. I eat fairly healthy. I don't drink enough water, but I'm not a thirsty person. I'm also the type of person that pushes myself way beyond my limits...I have a million things to get done and about 10 minutes free time to get it done in. Instead of saying "I HAVE to take a shower no matter what" I will take care of Miss H of course first, then the chores that need to be done(which are a ton--it never ends) and then by the time I get everything else taken care of or at least some of what needs to be done, I'm so tired I just fall in bed. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like I'm over-doing it, over-working my body. I feel like crap. I feel like I look like crap. I want a shower more than a few times a week. I want to have time to blow dry my hair. I want to have plucked eyebrows once in a while. I want to have time to clip my toenails. But I also want clean clothes to wear, clean dishes for us to eat off of, the bills to be paid on time(which I have been slipping up on lately because we have so many payments per month it's getting to where I can't remember everything--and hubby does not help with this)...I'm supposed to be super mom right, I'm supposed to have a clean organized house, I'm supposed to have a clean intelligent child, and I'm supposed to be clean and put together. YEA FREAKING RIGHT...I want to know how other women do it. All these women I know, they have all that. They wear make up daily. They know where everything is in their house. They don't have a dining room full of boxes (that are full of lord knows what)....they don't have mountains of laundry taking up half their bedroom. Their kitchen sink is empty and their floors are always clean. I have the time/energy to do a few things...Miss H is always clean, she is smart because I take the time to work with her...we always have a clean outfit for the next day...Miss H's room and the bathroom in the hallway are almost perfectly organized and put together at all times. The rest is all chaos and disorganization and un-cleanliness. I'm admitting it. And I hate that. So how on earth am I supposed to do ANYTHING for myself when the rest of my life is such chaos?? My job takes up SO MUCH of my time, and it's not fair. I am exhausted, I feel and look like crap, my house looks like crap, and someone else gets to spend more time out of the week with my kid than I do. :o( Ok I think I just needed to bitch. But I'm just tired and I am so stressed from all the crap that always needs done. And there's no end in sight...