Life as we know it...

I went to the dr. this morning. She's sending me to a rheumatologist. I go see him on the 20th. She also put me on Lexapro for my OCD. Hopefully it will help and I'll be able to cut back on my anxiety over things being germ free, spotless and organized so my stress levels will go down some. I also have to have a sleep study done. She's really concerned about my level of fatigue since I'm falling asleep on the way home from work and things like that. And since I NEVER wake up refreshed, ever. After that, if I need to she'll send me to a neurologist. But she really thinks I might have some sort of sleep issue because the extreme lack of good sleep could be causing all of my problems. My feet going numb/white is something called Renard's syndrome and she doesn't really know why that's happening every now and then. It's something about the small blood vessels contracting?? Basically it's the least of my problems right now though :) I'm going to go through with all this and even take the medication even though I'm pretty highly against medicines in general, especially ones like Lexapro and Prozac. Sorry if you need to take them, but it just personally scares the poop out of me. Especially after my experience with Cymbalta I tried to take to help with my pain. But she said this one is very well tolerated, not like the effects you get from Cymbalta, and should really help with my OCD.

I'm doing all this because I want my life back. I want a normal, happy life. And I'm doing it to save my personal relationships, esp. my marriage. I know my craziness hasn't helped anything any. D and I had a long talk this weekend and he's really trying to reassure me more and be more supportive instead of just telling me I have issues that I need to get help for. He's seeing that I'm really trying to work on things so he's trying to. Hopefully everything will start to get better from here on out. I'm feeling more positive about everything now since my dr. visit.

Also, I got to work this morning and found out I'd won one of the giveaways over at Joanna's blog party! Oddly enough, THIS was the item I won. I told my mom that I think God's trying to tell me something. She told me I better start going to church :) I'm super excited that I won this necklace, I absolutely love it. And it really put a positive spin on my day :)