I live for little moments like this...

Ok well D's been gone since Monday morning to a tournament. I missed him like crazy, and I've been exhausted. I can't sleep when he's not here, I just hate being the only adult in the house. Monday night I didn't get to sleep til after 1:00. Last night I took a shower at 10:00, and after I got dressed I went into Hailey's room to turn off her baby monitor...and she was sitting up in her crib. Not good. I tried for a good 45 minutes to just rock her and when she didn't go back to sleep I laid her in her crib, thinking I could get her to lay down and fall asleep. No such luck, she freaked out and threw a fit. I was so exhausted, I was having bad cramps...I couldn't help but get just a little frustrated at the situation. I was doing the best that I could. It's hard to never have any help at bedtime. I slammed her door, which I regret. I got her out of her crib and turned on the bedside lamp and started reading to her. I felt bad because her little eyes weren't even adjusted to the light. I was just at a loss for what to do. She didn't have a fever, she wasn't coughing...I didn't know what was wrong!! I read for a while and she finally started to fall asleep. I tried to put her in her crib again because she was finally OUT. And she woke up AGAIN and freaked out. I told her very firmly to go back to sleep...I turned off the light and told her I was there, to lay down. She did. She even fell asleep...til I got the door almost closed, and she woke up and freaked out again!!!! Finally it just hit me. It didn't matter why she was awake, or why she wouldn't go to sleep(since I knew she wasn't sick) all that mattered was that for some reason she needed me. I remember feeling like that as a child. I fully appreciate how hard it was for my mom to raise me as a single parent. I know she was exhausted at the end of the day just like I am now...from working all day, coming home and cleaning house, cooking, trying to spend time with me and then begging me to go to sleep at the end of the day. I know what both sides feel like now. I remember so well not being able to fall asleep as a child, and wishing my mom would cuddle up to me so I could drift off to sleep. Some nights I just needed her. I took Hailey out of her crib and cuddled her close. I whispered to her that we were going to try something different. I shut off her fan, turned off the hall light and put her in bed with me. I put my face up to hers, cuddled up close and we just looked into each others' eyes and she got the biggest grin on her face. I could tell she was content. I turned off the light and we drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately she tossed and turned most of the night. I'm not sure if she had a tummy ache, or if her gums were hurting her or what. I was so tired I didn't even think about trying Orajel. Her gums are very swollen. I got about 2 or 3 hours of sleep last night but I don't care. It was so nice to just cuddle up in bed, the two of us holding hands and drifting off to sleep, mommy and baby.

Work was crazy busy today. When I got back from lunch I was asked to help with another meeting like I did a few weeks ago. Luckily I was able to leave there at 4:30 this time so I could still be able to pick Hailey up on time.

Ok I seriously need to go to bed...so tired...