Getting on the computer was a bad choice

I had my interview today at 10:00 for the AP job...it only lasted like 15 minutes. My boss told me it was going to be kind of a weird interview because they already knew all my work experience and they're happy with the work I do now, so there wasn't much to talk about. They asked me a couple questions, and a few times my boss said some things that really made me think they already have their minds made up. It's between me and one other lady, and from what I hear from a couple people in the office, they're just interviewing this other lady with the thought that she can take my place after I move up to the AP job. But I'm still not getting my hopes up. Although my boss did tell me after I move up to the AP job they're going to fight with the big head honcho to get my current job moved up a grade to be on the same level as the AP job...he asked me if they did that would I still want to move to the AP job, and I told him yes, and he told me that he thought that was a good decision because if there are budget cuts my current job will be the first to go. So it pretty much sounds like I'm going to get the AP job...but again, not getting my hopes up. They had told the other accountants they wanted to have their decision made by the end of today. So hopefully I will hear something tomorrow! It'll be awesome if I do get it, because that would mean at least a dollar more in pay per hour! I'll be making about $3 more per hour than I was making at the hell hole! That will really help us out this next year...the bad thing is, I don't see how I'll be able to quit working once D gets out of school and gets a job. So it's starting to make me seriously reconsider starting to try for another baby in December, which breaks my heart. D thinks we should still go for it, but I hate going into that being so uncertain about his job situation. What if he can't find anything decent and I have to keep working? We can't afford $1100 a month in daycare. And what if we have to move in order for him to get another job? I'd have to find a new OB and all that right in the middle of my pregnancy. I just don't know...I know it's a long way off, but I'm a planner, and if things aren't planned out I get really stressed. So I'm going to be thinking a lot about all this and worrying, and I'll probably be pissed off and sad off and on because I know what we really should do and it's not what my heart wants... **SIGH**

I'm loving the way Hailey calls me "Mommy" now instead of mama. I love the way she says it "Mom-mee" SO sweet! She'll walk up and pat me and say "Mom-mee" like she just loves me more than anything. Melts my heart every time. And I'm having a hard time not thinking of her as my baby anymore. Like a little chubby baby. She's such a kid now, I mean she's not a baby at all anymore...she's going on 15 months old, and she's getting so big. Will I always call her my baby, even when she's 15, or 30? Is this how all those parents and grandparents out there feel who tell their kids and grandkids "You'll always be my baby!" I look at her Newborn size diaper that I saved and I am shocked...surely her butt never fit in that?? One butt cheek maybe, or maybe not...she does have a bubble butt after all...but of course it did at one time fit her, and it makes me so happy and so sad all at once to think about how much she has grown and changed. And I almost can't picture having a baby that tiny again...and I cannot imagine having a stomach that huge again!!